SnoLift Shovel & How to BBQ a Turkey

CANADA - I am thinking of getting the shovel to the right for my parents this Christmas. They're getting up in years and it reduces bending over and painful back problems when shoveling snow.

I personally don't mind shoveling snow, but thats because I am young, fit and energetic... I sound like a viagra commercial. So to me any old snow shovel will do the trick, but I suppose when I am 50+ bending over to shovel snow could become an annoying task.

Which is why I fully intend to move to Spain (or maybe Cuba) in my old age. Or maybe we will have enough global warming there won't be that much snow anyway...

I realize this whole shoveling topic seems a rather OFF TOPIC, but I assure you it isn't. The stereotype is that its the men who shovel the snow out of the driveway, and its the women inside basking the Christmas turkey... but thats because most men don't have a clue how to cook a turkey...

Which is why I have found this video for how to BBQ a Turkey.

This way you can now BBQ the turkey while the wife or girlfriend goes out and shovels the driveway before all your guests arrive. Or not. Whichever.

Sex on the Beach in Dubai

SEX - If a man kisses a woman in public in Dubai its illegal and could lead to arrest. Public displays of affection are illegal in the United Arab Emirates.

As is public drunkenness and having sex out of wedlock.

British visitors Vince Acors and Michelle Palmer (who are not married) can testify to all of these, as they were arrested for getting drunk and having sex on a public beach in Dubai. They pleaded guilty to the charge of public drunkenness but denied having sex on the beach.

Now here's the dumb thing: The reason they were drunk is because they both attended an all-you-can-drink champagne brunch. So basically here's a scenario... a country that strictly forbids public drunkenness and the hotel they're staying at is giving away all-you-can-drink booze... that's just asking for trouble.

The pair were convicted and originally sentenced to 3 months in prison but today managed to get their sentence reduced to a fine of approx. US$272 each.

Word of advice for tourists... if you want to get drunk and have sex on the beach find a more liberal country that has topless beaches and that sort of thing.

Apparently Dubai is almost 50% American/British ex-patriots, which creates a huge social divide for what is socially acceptable.

Sarah Palin Vs the African Continent

POLITICS - We don't know how lucky we are John McCain/Sarah Palin wasn't elected...

And to cite an example of why: Sarah Palin didn't know Africa was a continent.

I am... flabbergasted.

I mean how mind numbingly dumb would you have to be to NOT know that Africa is a continent? And this is just the tip of the iceberg. According to McCain aides Sarah Palin also didn't know:

What countries were in North America.

What countries are members of NAFTA or what NAFTA is.

Where China is on a map. Or Iraq. Or Afghanistan. Or Europe.

She couldn't even find Washington D.C. on an unmarked map.

But I will point out none of this matters to Sarah Palin supporters. Incompetence? Stupidity? They don't care. They will support her until the proverbial cows come home, which implies that Sarah Palin isn't the only one who is a dumb as a brick.

When sent to buy "three suits and hire a stylist" Palin instead went on a shopping spree and spent between $150,000 to $200,000 on clothes for herself and her family, and FORCED low-level Republican staffers to buy some of her clothes on their private credit cards and the aides later sought reimbursement. Audits of the list of clothing has revealed some of the clothing, including lingerie purchases (why did Sarah Palin need lingerie for her campaign?), have been "misplaced".

And one time she answered the door to her hotel room wearing nothing but a towel.

I for one hope Sarah Palin DOES run for president in 2012. It will be a sure fire win for the Democrats.

Weddings Vows

RELATIONSHIPS - Have you noticed these bridezillas who force their husbands-to-be to write their own wedding vows?

What happened to the normal wedding vows, where you listen to the priest or reverend, repeat after them and then say "I Do"?

Yes, we understand its romantic for the man to write his own vows and basically make a little speech during the wedding... but not all men are comfortable doing that. Some men are shy, inarticulate, mumble, stutter, forget the words easily and have no skill at writing such things.

The demand for original wedding vows has resulted in companies like the Wedding Vow Tool Kit which writes the wedding vows for men who have been arm-twisted into making up their own.

But to me, this is all bogus. The man isn't writing those vows, his hired help is.

If the man WANTS to write his own vows, let him. If he doesn't, he should not be forced to do so, or forced to hire someone to write them for him. Some brides even write the vows for them and berate them about memorizing it... if they have issues marrying someone who trouble memorizing things (we can't all have the speech abilities of Barack Obama) then maybe she should find someone who likes speaking publicly.

Evidently bridezillas need to take a chill pill.

NOTE: Glossophobia or speech anxiety is the fear of public speaking and effects 75% of the adult population. Fear of making speeches is ranked even above the fear of death. As Jerry Seinfeld said, "The average person at a funeral would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy."

See Also:

Relationship Double Standards

College Relationships

Tips on Kissing

The Disappearing Male and Petrochemicals

HEALTH/TECHNOLOGY - Sperm counts of males have decreased by half over the last 50 years.

85% of sperm is now abnormal and males are growing up with smaller penises, more genital birth defects, and testosterone levels so low its equal to females.

Low fertility is now effecting many young couples and its becoming an epidemic.

Less males are being born in industrialized countries. Even less male animals are being born.

Why? Petrochemicals in the water, food, the air are messing with our body's ability to produce healthy sperm. Everything from synthetic pesticides on our food, chemical additives in our drinks, particles from vinyl, plastics, acrylics, nylon and a variety of other sources are getting into the womb and effecting the development of babies.

In particular, the petrochemicals are blocking the hormones responsible for deciding sex and thus more women are being born and more men are being born with deformed penises, smaller penises and a variety of other birth defects.

Chemical exposure in the womb is also killing more babies while they are still in the womb.

One case in Canada is the native reserve Aamjiwnaang near Windsor/Detroit where the birth rate of boys in ratio to girls has dropped to 2 girls for every 1 boy born. The reason? A petrochemical plant nearby that frequently has toxic leaks into the nearby environment.

And Canada is not the only place. Other countries around the world are seeing similar drops in male populations, and not just in locations near petrochemical plants but everywhere you can find synthetic chemicals in our food and drink.

One of the key petrochemicals we use is particular dangerous: Polycarbonate, which is used in DVDs, baby bottles, toys, etc. and works a bit like synthetic estrogen when ingested into the body. Polycarbonate is causing the bulk of problems in lower male fertility rates, male birth rates and male birth defects.

Inverted testicles is another rising problem caused by polycarbonate. Boys born with them are 8 times more likely to develop testicular cancer and 7 times more likely to be infertile.

So why are we not banning the use of Polycarbonate and similar chemicals?

The chemical lobby in the United States is one of the most wealthy and powerful groups in the world and are using misinformation to tell the public that their chemicals are safe.

Canada however is taking steps as of April 2008 to ban such plastics in baby bottles. Its one small step to preserving the future of male babies, and the future of the human race.

Will the United States follow suit, or will they fall victim to the greed of the chemical industry?

Just look at global warming, climate change and the oil industry... it will take a long time to convince the chemical industry to change their methods.

See Also: Pollution: Where have all the boys gone?

Pinup Girls promoting Voting

Voting is Sexy.

Television Going Downhill

TECHNOLOGY/ENTERTAINMENT - Remember that stereotype of a guy flipping channels with the remote trying to find something fun or interesting to watch?

That happened to me just 5 minutes ago, and once I realized that there was nothing but crap on the CBC, that the other channels were all crap too, I decided to turn off the TV and go on the internet.

And in that moment my male brain said "Wait a sec... this is why the internet is becoming so popular and TV is going downhill. You can find whatever you want instantly."

What we have is a case of too much crap television these days. The cable networks have gone overboard with their idiotic shows like "So You Think You Can Dance Canada?", American Idol, The Amazing Race and a plethora of other reality TV crap... on top of that you have scant few shows that are worth watching (ie. The Simpsons, Seinfeld, Little Mosque on the Prairie, Sex and the City, CSI and a few others).

And as for drama or action? We have crap shows like The Border, based on a non-existent elite border security squad. There's no such thing.

Its no wonder they've revived the old Night Rider franchise. Television is becoming ridiculously boring and apparently the best we can do is regurgitate popular shows from the 1980s.

Oh, and lest we forget the movie industry, which is coming out with a new X-Files movie. Same idea basically. They're probably going to bring X-Files back in reruns.

It all boils down to one conclusion: Television is obsolete and the television industry hasn't figured it out yet that they've oversaturated the market with too many crappy shows, which incidentally are driving people towards more internet usage.

There is one show I absolutely recommend: Top Gear. Its a BBC show about cars, and its hysterical. Top Gear is now in the 12th season and its the most downloaded TV show on the internet (its also very easy to find and download on the file sharing networks). It wins awards every year for being one of the best shows in the world, but unfortunately few people in North America know about it. Watch the Rednecks in Alabama clip to get an idea of how hilarious the show is.

Congratulations President Barack Obama

Thank God Barack Obama has won the US Presidency (McCain and Palin were just plain scary and stupid). Congratulations President Obama!

Out with George W. Bush/Cheney and in with the new!

Trigger Happy Hunters

Are men trigger happy hunters that just like to blow their wad all the time?

Lets take shopping for example.

Men, typically, like to go straight for what they're looking for, find what they are looking for, and then immediately buy it. Sometimes without even looking at the price. I know this is true for myself because I almost never check the price when I buy food in the grocery store and I basically go down my mental list of things I need: Eggs, milk, bread, meat, etc. Occasionally I have the mental awareness to buy potatoes, rice, peppers or onions. We find what we want, and we blow our paycheque on it.

Women, in contrast, have a tendency to gather. They're taught from a young age to be frugal, look for sales and gather together what they need and want. Its long been assumed that it was a woman who invented agriculture, and thus ancient fertility/agricultural gods are usually female. There are female hunters in mythology, like Atalanta and Artemis, but they are scant and few in number.

In the modern context men don't usually hunt any more...

Instead we make war, and occasionally we shoot things by accident.

Take last night in South Carolina for example. Halloween night and a 12-year-old trick-or-treater T.J. Darrisaw knocked on the door of ex-convict/drug dealer Quentin Patrick. Patrick in response, thinking he was being robbed, took out his trusty AK-47 and shot a whole clip of 30 bullets through the door, the wall and the windows. Basically blowing his wad on his own home. Darrisaw was fatally shot in the head, and his 9-year-old brother and his father were also shot.

Quentin Patrick has been charged with murder, three counts of assault and battery with intent to kill, and one count of assault with intent to kill. He claims he's been paranoid ever since he was shot and robbed last year by rival drug dealers.

NOTE TO SELF: Paranoid stupid people should never own guns, let alone AK-47s.

Call it the male philosophy to doing anything: Whatever you do, blow your wad on it. I'm not saying its a good philosophy, its just the way men seem to think. It certainly explains why most men don't last longer than 5 minutes in bed.

See Also:

Gun Control in Canada

Handguns in Canada

Counter-Strike Review - Review of the Popular Shooter

Killer Goth on the Rampage in Montreal

Laser Weapons in the Hands of Canadian Soldiers

Below: Artwork by Victoria Van Dyke:

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