People with a Low Sex Drive at Work

I cannot understand men or women who have a low or basically non existent sex drive.

To me having a sex drive is part and parcel of being human - it is the driving force behind our need to fall in love, get married, have a family and procreate. Without our sex drive the human species would have died out long ago due to sheer lack of procreation.

Thus to me people who have no apparent sex drive - or are basically not interested in sex - there must be something WRONG with them. Either hormones wise or something in their head psychologically that prevents them from becoming aroused during romantic / sexual situations.

Now I am not a neuroscientist but I am confident there has been a fair amount of research into this topic so lets see what I can find out by doing a quick Google search on the topic...

Here are my findings.

#1. There are many pharmaceuticals that have "low sex drive" listed as a side effect. This suggests to me that it is very easy to create a chemical imbalance which causes a low sex drive. However that doesn't explain people with "no sex drive" whatsoever.

#2. Dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin levels play a huge role in sexual desire for both men and women. A depletion in these three chemicals (or even just 1 of them) can result in a lower sex drive. Someone with a lowered amount in two of the chemicals or even all three would have a tiny or possibly even non existent sex drive. Each of these hormones play a different role in the body, but block any one of them and you can get some weird results.

Dopamine for example is critical for motivation and desire: if it’s depleted or blocked (with a medication like an antipsychotic, for example), people may lose the will to strive, even the ability to move. But boost it with a drug like cocaine and people feel capable, excited, empowered, overconfident.

Which begs the question, could synthetic cocaine or a similar drug be used as an aphrodisiac?

Dopamine doesn't just affect sexual desire either. It is also connected to our desire for food, sleep, social interaction and connected to addictions to everything from gambling to exercise addiction.

Oxytocin meanwhile is called the "love hormone" and is responsible for those feelings we get affect watching romantic movies, having sex and cuddling, or even consuming large amounts of chocolate. On the flip side, a lack of oxytocin is connected to social disconnection disorders like autism and aspergers. Oxytocin is largely involved in feelings related to intimacy, social bonding, and even concentration / awareness on your surroundings. Thus a person with a shortage of oxytocin will be more of a social outcast and lack interest in developing intimacy with other people.

Serotonin is actually weird. Low and high amounts can actually have different opposite effects on sex drive. A low amount can actually trigger a high sex drive sometimes, but the person will be more depressed and less choosy about their sexual partners - in other words they will sleep around a lot because their serotonin levels are so low and they have a correspondingly low self esteem. Really high serotonin levels can still be attached to a high sex drive too, but the person will be more choosy about who they are sleeping with and are more likely to have only one sexual partner.

Thus a person with low dopamine and low oxytocin will likely be anti social and lack sexual desire. Coupled with a "calming" amount of serotonin in their system and they won't feel the need to have sex at all.

#3. Not all low sex drives is caused by hormones. Sometimes it can be something as simple as a pinched pelvic nerve in the wrong spot which prevents orgasm and even arousal in some people. Such physiological problems however can now be solved with elective surgery.

#4. Other non listed physiological reasons. I am not going to list them all, but basically it can be a physiological defect - such as having one's clitoris removed in a clitoridectomy (an operation popular in some Muslim African countries where women are treated rather poorly and they don't want women to enjoy sex that much).

#5. Mental trauma, such as sexual abuse or rape in the person's past which has since caused them to be unable to become aroused.

Now with respect to this last one - 33% of women in North America are sexually abused at some point in their lifetime. While this doesn't always result in severe trauma, it does indicate that such abuse is far too commonplace and that in the extreme cases it is really no surprise if the trauma is so severe it causes permanent damage to the woman's psyche.

I don't know what percentage of men are abused, but we can assume it is probably a larger number than we would normally guess because men are too afraid of being stigmatized by admitting that they were the victim of such abuse.

#6. Stress.

Yes, stress can be a factor in low sex drive. But it doesn't erradicate sex drive entirely because stress induced low sex drive is just temporary. People going through high and low bouts of stress eventually learn to cope with their stress and then use sex as a release to reduce their stress levels.

#7. General Dislike.

A couple who are going through problems such as communication or compatibility problems will have a reduced sex drive - and that reduced sex drive may eventually be the lynch pin which drives them apart permanently. Disliking the person you are with - for whatever reason - means you are going to start resenting having sex with them, like it is some kind of obligation or chore you have to do to maintain the relationship. Once sex is reduced to a chore it is no longer fun and you lose interest in it.

This happened to me once when I was in university. True story. During my 4th year of university I moved into an apartment with a girl and we got a lease. NEVER GET A LEASE! Due to the lease I ended up maintaining the relationship, but near the end I was withholding sex because I had grown to dislike her so much that I had lost all interest in her sexually. (That and she was insatiable anyway and I was tired of the chore it had become to keep her satisfied 24/7.)

But again, like stress this doesn't mean the person has a low sex drive so much. It just means they'd rather break up and find someone new. Which I eventually did once the lease was done.

CONCLUSIONS

I must admit people with very low sex drives still seem alien to me. I can't even imagine having a low sex drive and not wanting to have sex regularly (especially with someone I feel deeply and passionately about).

Note: I think personals websites would be wise to include a Sexual Compatibility Survey so people can check to see if they are compatible with people they meet online before they meet in real life. This way if someone is into things you aren't into that you can ensure you are getting into a relationship that has potential to last on the sexual level. A woman with a high sex drive meeting a man with a low or non existent sex drive will be sorely disappointed. And vice versa. Likewise a person who is into nudist colonies and kama sutra will be disappointed when they meet someone who is a conservative prude beneath the sheets.

Lack of sex / sexual incompatibility is one of the driving forces behind the divorce rate in many countries.

Frigusphilia

Frigusphilia is a fetish whereby you enjoy having sex in cold showers, having sex in the snow, that sort of thing.

Having sex in a cold shower actually comes with a long list of health benefits. It burns calories, boosts the immune system, stimulates muscle growth and testosterone levels in men, increases sperm count, boosts metabolism and energy levels and a whole bunch of side benefits for your health.

See a list of the health benefits by reading the article Cold Showers Burns Calories.

The thing is when you consider all the health benefits, especially for men, I am surprised married couples aren't having cold showers together more often.

Just the hormone / testosterone boost alone helps to boost muscle growth, which means every man looking to build muscle should be standing in line to take a cold shower.

Let alone have sex in a cold shower! If you've ever done that then you know it feels absolutely amazing. After awhile you don't even notice the cold water, it just feels refreshingly cold.

And while we are at it having sex also boosts your immune system, metabolism, and so forth, thus having sex in a cold shower should be a health boost double whammy.

And seriously, do you really need more encouragement to have sex?

Also discovered something interesting... Hot baths apparently work as a contraceptive. It lowers a man's fertility to the point that if a man takes a 30 minute hot bath every day for 3 weeks his sperm count drops to almost zero. The heat from the hot baths kills sperm. Takes about 3 weeks to wear off too, so if you want to increase your sperm count and make babies its time to start having cold showers.

So yeah... Frigusphilia. Its a good thing!

The Male Brain on Internet Porn

Watch this TED Talks presentation about the effects of internet porn addiction on the male brain.

Oooo!




The presentation is in response to Philip Zimbardo's "The Demise of Guys?" TED talk and in this presentation Gary Wilson asks whether our brains evolved to handle the hyperstimulation of today's Internet enticements. He also discusses the disturbing symptoms showing up in some heavy Internet users, the surprising reversal of those symptoms, and the science behind these 21st century phenomena.

More About Gary Wilson

Gary is host of www.yourbrainonporn.com. The site arose in response to a growing demand for solid scientific information by heavy Internet erotica users experiencing perplexing, unexpected effects: escalation to more extreme material, concentration difficulties, sexual performance problems, radical changes in sexual tastes, social anxiety, irritability, inability to stop, and obsessive-compulsive symptoms.

As a physiology teacher with a particular interest in the latest neuroscience discoveries, Gary was aware that their symptoms might be the result of addiction-related brain changes. Applying the website's concepts of brain plasticity, many former users have braved withdrawal, reversed their symptoms and restored normal sexual responsiveness.

The site has been linked to from hundreds of threads in forums from over thirty countries, with posts numbering in the thousands. Gary blogs for "Psychology Today" and "The Good Men Project" on the extreme plasticity of adolescent brains, the evolutionary context for today's flood of novel cyber "mates," and the neurochemical reasons why superstimulating Internet delivery has unexpected effects on the brain.

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Gender Studies at Work

FEMINISM - Back in university I took a course titled "Male and Female Relationships"... It was really more of a literature course in which we analyzed how men and women interact with one another, and not just on a biochemical level as per sex / love (much to the disappointment of several people in the class on the first day who evidently did not read the course description). but also dealt with issues of motherhood / fatherhood, how children relate to their parents, how siblings relate to each other, how male / female co-workers get along, bosses, authority figures, etc, etc.

The course was my first taste of what a gender studies course was all about. In the years that followed I took many other courses on similar topics, including Psychology of Women, Male and Female Archetypes, and so forth. I basically minored in gender studies, which at the time was often known as women's studies, a misnomer because we spent half the class time talking about men too.

That last bit is an important part of the whole gender studies phenomenon. As a series of courses they really don't contribute anything to the global economy... but they do allow people to study something which effects how people interact with each on a social level.

Knowing the gender/sex of an individual is the first thing people do when they meet someone new. They look at their chest, their face and try to determine which sex they are. Once this is done they also assess how feminine or masculine a person is.

If the first is confusing (ie. the person has facial hair and yet has breasts) then we get confused and wonder what exactly is this person standing before us. Are they like the bearded lady from the circus? Are they a really butch woman? Are they a man who looks feminine and has hormonal problems? Are they a transsexual? If a person can't tell they get confused and distracted, trying to determine what exactly they are looking at.

In the end it might just be a tomboy who has some whiskers. Hopefully they don't notice you staring and trying to figure out the conundrum.

In Toronto there was recently a couple who decided they were going to raise their baby "genderless", meaning they would treat it the same regardless of whether it was a boy or a girl. This was later reported on in the local media and it became a bit of a fuss. (The kid is obviously a boy, but the parents were refusing to admit it.)

Now because he was so obviously a boy all the neighbours were saying so, asking to see if they were correct. There was even polls to gauge public opinion. A bit too much fuss if you ask me.

When the boy eventually reaches kindergarten he will already have identified himself as male. He will be prone to playing with others boys (because girls are icky, dontcha know?) and doing activities that boys want to do. Its a natural process of self identification.

Identity is very meaningful to the individual. People define themselves with words, saying things like "I am a doctor" or "I am an amateur race car driver" or "I am a father of three", and so forth.

For example, I am an artist, writer, author, website designer, painter, sculptor, photographer, athlete, bicycle mechanic, weightlifter, archer, cyclist, amateur boxer, zen guru, Lilith expert, SEO expert, linguist, poly-lingual, long haired, glasses wearing, amateur guitarist, CEO, entrepreneur, Dungeons & Dragons player, nerd, geek, health nut, eidetic genius, liberal-minded, practical, spendthrift, blatantly honest, Scottish-French-German-Hebrew-Prussian, straight, white male with a sense of humour.

But is this all that I am? No. I am also a body, blood, sweat, meat, fluids, organs, skin, hair and if you believe in any religion I am also a soul which is either going to heaven, hell, purgatory or being reincarnated after I die.

And even so, is this all of my identity? No, because I left things out... I am also a lover, a poet, a hopeless romantic and any number of other words that people might choose to describe me. ie. Some people might call me a self-righteous prick.

Recognizing that we define ourselves by our identity, gender studies is a topic that doesn't just deal with issues of relationships, androgyny, sexuality and so forth... it also deals with the topic of identity and how that is tied to our ego.

The macho male ego for example is a fragile one. Its built upon the idea of being "macho" and masculine at all times. If caught in a situation where the macho male looks weak or feminine, the macho response is to loudly proclaim that they aren't feminine, a sissy, a coward, gay, homosexual, metrosexual or whatever... and if loudly proclaiming it doesn't work, then they start a fight to prove what a 'big man' they are.

I'd argue it takes a bigger man to be humble and accept that we cannot always be macho. Especially if you're a parent.

As a parent there will be times when you need to change a baby's diapers, take the kid in a stroller to the park, and so forth. Not exactly macho activities at all.

But then again macho and married with children don't usually go that well together. Alpha males may be good at attracting women (especially dumb women), but they're not very good at keeping them around because they tend to be assholes.

Studying gender (as per gender studies or women's studies) is therefore highly useful. I'd also argue it takes a smarter man to realize these things and that getting in a fight isn't going to change anything. Fighting won't make your penis bigger.

But it might get you kicked in the balls.

In unrelated news.... Macho Man Randy Savage dies in car accident

Saying Sorry at Work

SEX - When it comes to saying sorry most men don't do it unless they actually think they've done something wrong.

And now we have scientific proof of what goes on inside a man's brain.

Researchers at the University of Waterloo have finally determined why your husband or boyfriend won’t apologize. It’s because men don’t think they've done anything wrong, whereas women think everything that everyone else does is untrustworthy or sketchy at best.

In the study by Waterloo psychologists Karina Schumann and Michael Ross they asked 66 people (33 women & 33 men) to keep track of how many times they apologized or said sorry for anything over a 12-day period.

What they discovered was that men and women both apologize about 80% of the time. And we're talking general apologies, like you bumped into them, stepped on their foot, etc... not necessarily the big traumatic apologies like "I'm sorry I got you pregnant five years ago!" or "I'm sorry I dropped the baby down the stairs and we had to take it to the hospital for surgery."

So men and women apologize equally as often... but the difference lies in the fact that women feel they apologized more often and felt that they caused more offence.

Men in contrast, even though they apologize just as often, felt they had caused less offence and that it wasn't that serious.

It should also be noted that both sexes apologized as graciously and just as effusively if they believed an apology was actually owed.

So there. The myth that men don't apologize has been busted. Men DO apologize just as often as women, but the difference is their perception about the seriousness of what they apologizing for.

Now we might chalk some of this down to the fragile male ego and why they don't think some things are that serious.

ie. Lets say a man and a woman are in the heat of the moment and he doesn't put on a condom until halfway through the sexual activity. The man later ejaculates into the safety of the condom, but in the morning the woman gets upset that they had unprotected sex. At the time she didn't fuss about it so he thought she wasn't that concerned about it. Turns out she was, so he apologizes, explaining that he didn't know it was such a big deal to her.

Now obviously a woman is going to take pregnancy a lot more seriously. Even the threat of it can send a woman into a panic (unless she wants kids).

In contrast the male response is "no harm done" and "what's the big deal?"

Perception is a tricky thing.

The Schumann & Ross study found that the "I'm Sorry" discrepancy was “heightened” when it comes to romantic partnerships. Women perceived many more offences from their boyfriend/husband, than their husband/boyfriend perceived from them. We might be able to draw the conclusion that women are more picky, but there's no proof of that. All we know is that women perceive the things men do as wrong and are more insistent that those perceived wrongs should be apologized for.

ie. When I was 18 I went out with a girl (Kristin Greniaus) and she cut the date short early on because apparently I didn't compliment her on her dress and her hair enough. Please note that I did compliment her, but apparently it wasn't enough of a compliment... Go figure. She had apparently put a lot of effort into her hair and the dress and even though I did compliment her she believed the compliment wasn't particularly special. (Personal Note: I sent Kristin a message on Facebook informing her of this blog post. I hope she doesn't mind me using her as an example. I've told this story to hundreds of people because it epitomizes the whole ridiculousness of relationships.)

The researchers give us the following advice:

“(T)hese discrepant perceptions might have unfortunate consequences for mixed-gender interactions.”

Which basically is code for men to apologize even when they don't think they've done anything wrong.

As fragile as male egos go, if you really want to maintain the cohesiveness of the relationship, its worth it to assuage the female's perception of a wrong by giving the apology even if you don't think its worth an apology.

HOWEVER!

Sometimes (and many men will attest to this fact) sometimes women demand an apology and don't tell men what they've done wrong... this apologize-or-else ultimatum is combined quite subtly (and is very childish) with the refusal to tell the man what they have done wrong.

"If you don't know what you've done wrong then maybe we should just break up."

Its one part silent treatment and one part ultimatum. (As proven in previous blog posts we've already determined that the silent treatment is a childish methodology which ultimately damages relationships and causes unnecessary stress. See Being Wishy Washy at Work.)

“Apologies go a long way in promoting forgiveness and relationship well-being,” says Schumann. “So if people think a partner isn’t apologizing for selfish reasons or they don’t want to admit they’re wrong, it really does make the initial offence worse.”

In other words the perceived wrong isn't the real issue here... its the perception that the male won't apologize, even if its a minor thing not worthy of an apology.

ie. The male forgets to take out the garbage + The male won’t apologize for forgetting = The male committed murder and must be punished.

So in other words males should just apologize all the time?

“Ummmm. Ahhhhh,” says Schumann. “Don’t put words in my mouth . . . If they find that their female partner is upset with them, they should inquire as to why, instead of brushing it off as the woman being overly emotional. They should also accept that their partner has a different experience of the event.”

So yeah... the basic concept is that you should listen carefully, apologize and hopefully the female will later realize it wasn't the male's fault in the first place.

So why does this happen?

It’s very scientific but here is the Coles notes version:

Women are emotional empaths and crave communication.

Men are hungry, sleepy or distracted and sometimes not in the mood for a big conversation.

Hopefully that wee bit of insight will help people in their relationships.

THE RULES at Work

SEX - The following is a list of relationship rules (which you may have seen on t-shirts in the late 1990s). The list is humourous and not meant to be taken seriously, but if you have a funny bone its worth a laugh. I should note there are different versions of The Rules floating around, but this is the version I've chosen to show here.

THE RULES

1. The female always makes the rules.

2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules.

4. If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. The female is never wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female.

10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. Women have a better sense of direction than men. Accept it.

14. Shopping IS a spectator sport, and you are the lucky spectator. Accept this harsh reality, as will we when the roles reverse, say, at the local sporting goods store.

15. We already know what you are thinking. Sometimes we just need clarification.

16. Shorts and black socks with sandals is NOT sexy.

17. Towels dry faster when they are hung up on the towel rod, not crumpled on the floor.

18. Cut us some slack when we ask you questions about how sports, cars, etc. Consider it your civic duty to help us learn.

19. Finally, don't show us where the oil goes, or the washer fluid, or even how to fix a car. YOU DO IT. This is one of the many reasons we are with you.

20. When in doubt ask the woman. But don't expect a straight answer.

:)

Editor's Note: A man could dedicate his entire life to trying to understand women and never come close to fully understanding how they think (especially when hormones are involved)... in theory we would better success if we met a woman who is seeking to understand men and then we would need an honest and truthful debate about what's going in our brains.

Sometimes trying to get people onto the same mental wavelength is like two teams digging a tunnel under a river. In theory they'd meet in the middle, but only if they properly communicated which direction and angle they were digging both sides of the tunnel.

Its not a perfect system, but communication makes a big difference.

Stuck Up Little Bitches at Work

ENTERTAINMENT - Please pardon my amusing choice of words for the title and the fact part of this post will sound like a movie and book review.

The movie is the 2008 film "Gran Torino" starring Clint Eastwood. I watched it earlier today and give it 5 stars out of 5 (and I'm a HARSH critic!).

The book is "Girls on the Edge: The four factors driving the new crisis for girls" by Dr. Leonard Sax, author, physician and psychologist. I haven't actually read the book, I am just going on a summary and some quotes provided by Toronto Star reporter Antonia Zerbisias in her article: Is Facebook behind today's girl crisis?

Now the reason why I use the words "stuck up little bitches" is for good reason. I am describing a particular kind of young woman, often a teenager, who is so naive about the world and stuck in their own little "cyberbubble" (Dr. Sax's words) that they are rude to other people and their end behaviour is that of a stuck up little bitch.

Lets start with the granddaughter in the film Gran Torino. In the clips below you will see how she is more worried about her cellphone than she is about hurting her grandfather's feelings. Then she takes it a step farther and starts coveting his car, the Gran Torino. You can practically see the grandfather's thoughts when he glares at her. His wife has just died and already the granddaughter is scheming what will happen when she loots the remains of his death.






Greedy relatives isn't really a modern concept. Its been around for as long as ownership laws and you could argue rude teenagers is pretty normal too.

Of course not all teenagers are rude, just like not all granddaughters are rude. I would hope the stereotypical "stuck up little bitch" is a rarity more than the norm.

They are certainly out there however and I am sure we all have memories of encountering a few. Arrogance is a factor, but its more than that. A person can be arrogant but still polite to people. This is a dreadful combination of arrogance, rudeness, a feeling of entitlement, a lack of empathy, greed and a lack of respect for everyone around them. They are spoiled rotten.

And I would argue there is a difference between young women who are spoiled rotten and young men who receive similar treatment from their parents. Females develop a sort of "Princess ego" as "Daddy's Little Girl" who can do no wrong, has been ridiculously sheltered and now expects the world to wait on them. (And gets upset when people don't go to extremes to please their fragile sense of entitlement.)

I believe people have to EARN respect by treating others with respect. If you're rude to someone the chances of other people being rude back greatly increases.

In our era of Girls Gone Wild however young women seem to have fallen prey to society's woes, rather than actually trying to do something different and better themselves, they are going along merrily with it.

A sad but unmeasurable number of young women these days are too focused on superficial qualities, beauty and their ability to attract a male. They spend more time taking photos and updating their Facebook photos than actually studying, doing homework, getting a part-time job and trying to make something of themselves. They're so self-indulged they ignore the chance to accomplish something.

According to Dr. Leonard Sax and his book (mentioned at the top) a proportion of 21st century teenagers are stuck in their own little "cyberbubble" where they ignore homework, text and chat 24/7, where t-shirts that say "SLUT"

That's skewing their self-image and their world view, believes.

“Most parents have no clue how kids are using Facebook,” says Dr. Sax. “The majority of boys are going on to look for photographs of girls they know and girls they don't know."

"Meanwhile, girls are intent on making the best possible photographs for their profile, presenting their brand, tweaking their photos to make themselves cuter than they are.”

Dr. Sax has written other books, including 2006's "Boys Adrift: The five factors driving the growing epidemic of unmotivated boys and underachieving young men".

So its not just young women who are at fault here. A lot of young men are so distracted sexually that they're ignoring their potential.

According to Dr. Sax: “The gender war is the ongoing and generally unproductive debate between people who tend to be politically conservative who think there's a boy crisis and people on the left who think there's a girl crisis. In fact, both boys and girls are disadvantaged, in different ways.”

Dr. Sax's advice in the book is the following: No private computer in their bedroom, no cellphones at the dinner table, no cellphones during family events (funeral, birthday parties, etc.) and encourage real-life networking with friends.

“It's not possible, it's not practical to say to parents don't let your kids have computers or cellphones. That's not going to happen. So the question is, how do you be a parent? I find that parents are unsure, uncertain and insecure about their authority.”

In other words stop spoiling your kids with techie crap. In fact stop spoiling them altogether.

When a child is spoiled they begin to feel they are entitled to things. They stop trying to earn things and the end result is a lack of motivation. They want other people to do their work for them.

But will parents just stop pandering to their kids? Doubtful. This is something that parents have to do early on, before the age of 4. Suddenly ceasing to spoil your kids will result in an emotional backlash.

So good luck with that.

The mass media isn't helping either. Everyday our kids, especially girls, are bombarded with advertisements which cause them to worry about their body image, their social status with friends and their sex life (often before they're emotionally ready for sex).

For the spoiled teen girl the temptation of sex comes with the perks of increased social status amongst other girls and the ability to gain the attention of boys. (Because teenage boys like sluts.) These naive young women aren't having sex because they're burning up with lust or feelings of love, they're doing it because they've recognized a desire to be accepted socially (although who can say when they have so many confusing hormones in their system).

Not all these hormone crazed teens are jumping off the deep end however. According to Dr. Sax many young women have learned to tune out the media assaults, to read between the lines and have become jaded against corporations trying to sell to teenagers. Dr. Sax's term for this is “corporatized.”

He also says boys have reacted slightly differently to the corporate media.

“More and more boys are developing an epicurean ability to enjoy themselves – to enjoy video games, pornography, food and sleep – but they often don't have the drive and motivation to succeed in the real world outside their bedroom,” writes Sax. “More and more of their sisters have that drive and motivation in abundance – but they don't know how to relax, how to have fun and enjoy life. For many of these girls, each accomplishment is only a stepping stone to the next goal.”

That is until reality gets in the way and Miss Smartest or Miss Prettiest at the High School finds herself Miss Nobody at university, says Dr. Sax.

“These girls are having a great time as long as everything goes their way,” he says. “But when they don't get what they want, because things don't turn out the way they expect, because they are not as smart as they think they are. They need to have an inner spirit so that they can get through that dark night of the soul. More and more girls don't have that – and they don't see the problem.”

The girls who are so spoiled they can't handle the stress of the real world become depressed – and may struggle with depression for the rest of their lives according to Dr. Sax.

Dr. Sax is also worried because girls “are getting older younger.” They are dressing slutty at a younger age, they are having sex too soon and they're growing up too fast during a time period in their lives where they are very impressionable.

There are no facts and statistics to back much of these observations, Dr. Sax admits, because nobody was keeping statistics 50 years ago on these things. Its very much a new field of study.

Dr. Sax blames various other modern societal woes that are hurting young women, but he also admits its still better than the "good old days".

“There are no good old days for girls,” he acknowledges. “It is a sad fact of western civilization that every era has been sexist. They have valued the achievements of boys and men above the achievements of girls and women.”

So there is hope for the future. These "stuck up little bitches" are nothing new to society, only the technology is new. In the 1980s or earlier they would have been tying up the phone line gossiping or talking to boys, now they've moved the gossip to cellphone texting and Facebook. Parents would be well advised to stop coddling and spoiling their children and focus more on getting their kids to become high achievers.

Because if they earn it then they will deserve it.

Fast Cars and Testosterone at Work

AUTOMOTIVES - Scientists have discovered that the thrill men feel when they drive a sports car is testosterone. In fact they were able to measure it, comparing the testosterone in men driving a Porsche 911 vs driving a four-door family sedan and determined men feel significantly higher levels of testosterone when driving the Porsche 911.

Like duh. Not really much of a surprise there.

They also tested whether testosterone levels would be different when women were around and determined the presence of a female audience made no difference on testosterone levels. (That was a bit of a surprise.)

Thus they determined that the feeling of power and speed is what causes the testosterone increase, not the availability of women.

This explains why men having a "midlife crisis" are more likely to buy sports cars (ie. Jaguar, Aston Martin, Porshe, etc.) or supercars (Lamboghini, Maserati, Koenigsegg, etc.) because they have lost interest in women and now feel the need to explore something that interests them (and its very difficult to find a man who is NOT remotely interested in engineering speed, power and torque).

High testosterone has been linked to a healthier and more energetic lifestyle. Lower testosterone tends to result in obesity, heart disease, diabetes and depression. Men (over 50) with low testosterone are 33% more likely to die prematurely of health problems.

After testing their saliva they discovered men saw a significant increase in the Porsche. In the old Camry their testosterone levels actually decreased.

Scientists have also determined wearing red boosts testosterone, and thus sports teams wearing red uniforms have a slight advantage because of boosted hormones.

No word yet on whether driving a red car boosts more than a grey car.

Or whether women see any hormonal changes when they drive a fast car.

Or whether driving the Batmobile boosts testosterone levels...

The cars used were a $123,000 CDN Porsche 911 Carrera Cabriolet and a 1993 Toyota Camry family sedan.

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In related news 44% of British drivers apparently talk to their cars whilst driving, including 32% who constantly chatter to their car. Only 25% said they never talked to their cars. Another 25% has a pet name for their car.

The survey also determined women are twice as likely to talk to their car when compared to men.