Hey Canada! Do you want nuclear radiation in your food?

Doug Ford.

The name brings fear to the minds of many people in Ontario.

Doug Ford is the Premier of Ontario, and he is a jerk. A real nasty jerk. He wants to dump nuclear waste in Bruce County, close to the town of Teeswater. The Teeswater River (and the underground aquifer beneath the region) supplies the drinking water to:

• Tens of thousands of people.
• Dairy cows.
• Water for agricultural farming (corn, potatoes, soy beans and more).
• Water for Aquafina bottled water.
• Cattle, pigs, turkeys and chickens. Bruce County is the Beef Capital of North America, but it also produces a lot of other meat products.

If you live Ontario you've eaten food many times from Bruce County. Guaranteed. You've drank the milk. You've eaten the cheese. You've eaten beef, pork, turkey and chicken. You've eaten the corn, the potatoes, the soy products. You've drank Aquafina water.

Even if you are a vegan and don't eat milk and dairy, you should still care where your soy products and other vegetables are grown and where your bottled water comes from.

And that is why you should care.

If you care about what you eat, then you should protect what you eat. Learn more at:

https://www.protectsouthbruce-nodgr.org/

If you care write to Doug Ford. Tweet him. Phone him and leave an angry voicemail.

Share this post. Copy/paste it to other websites. Share it on Facebook. Share it on Twitter. Share the memes below.

Show that you care about your food and where it comes from.

Protect your food and your health from Doug Ford.

Long Dongs on the Beach

"I am filling out my personals profile for this dating website. I guess I will just say I am down to earth."

"I am so down to earth I am subterranean."

"Oh yeah, well I am so down to earth I am Magma Man."

"Awesome superhero name. Magma Man. Whats your powers? Melting stuff and then becoming a rock?"

"Maybe. I haven't decided. Sounds better than my pornstar name."

"Oh?"

"Long Dong Silver"

"See. This is why you are on personals websites in the first place writing things like about being down to earth and long walks on the beach."

"Maybe so. But what you said gives me an idea: Long Dongs on the Beach."

"That sounds more like a cocktail drink."

"1 banana, uncut, 2 shots of rum, 1 of vodka, sourmix and finely chopped ice in a tall glass."

"Wow. Now I want to try that drink."

Happy drinking!

Cooking (Italian) for Men

Pasta is one of the easiest foods you can make.

Seriously, it must have been invented by a lazy man who wanted to be able to just pop it in hot water, boil it, stir it, add some veggies and voila... dinner is served!

Of course to reach that point you first need to have the dry pasta.

HOW TO MAKE DRY PASTA

Ingredients: 5 large Eggs, 1 lb fine Flour, Salt

1 Whisk eggs into flour until thoroughly mixed, or blend with a food processor.

2 Dump mixture onto a clean, floured work-surface.

3 Form a large mound of dough.

4 Knead the dough until it feels smooth and seamless in your hands. This will keep your noodles springy and al dente after cooking.

5 Roll out long, thin sheets of pasta with a rolling pin on a floured work surface from small handfuls of dough. Alternately, use a pasta machine. Be careful to have a long, clear work surface available for this step. Keep rolling the pasta down until it's the thickness you need, for example stuffed pasta should be thinner than noodles like spaghetti or fettucine.

6 Cut and shape your pasta immediately as fresh pasta dries quickly.

DRYING YOUR PASTA

7 Spread out pasta on floured baking sheets or baking paper in a dry environment.

8 Let dry until stiff to the touch. This could be up to five days.

9 Hang long pasta, like spaghetti and fettuicine to dry on a sterilized rack or a pasta drying rack, ideally something designed specifically for this purpose but you can find other ways to hang and dry it as long as it is clean.

10 Put pasta away in glass jars, tupperware, or plastic bags when completely dry and stiff to the touch.

CONCLUSIONS

Okay, so technically there is more work required to first make the dry pasta... but its a relatively simple process, easy to mass produce and you can store pasta up for years. Handy if you ever decide to get Italian cooking lessons in Toronto so you can "up your game" in the kitchen.

And let us be serious about this for a moment, many men out there are not that good at anything in the kitchen. It really is only during the last 100 years that men have begun to take being a chef seriously and even though the word chef now makes people think automatically of a man, men in general aren't particular good at cooking. Getting private cooking lessons thus makes abundant sense if you are planning to up your game. It doesn't have to be Italian either. You could get cooking lessons in Toronto for a variety of different topics.

Anorexic Women and Arnold Schwarzenegger at Work

HEALTH - I totally understand why Arnold Schwarzenegger cheated on his wife Maria Shriver... and later separated from her in 2010 and now looks to be heading towards divorce.

Have you seen Maria Shriver? She is so anorexic she looks like a skeletal corpse.

When Arnold and Maria first met many years ago Maria Shriver was a thin but reasonably healthy woman. She was in many ways a trophy wife, but had intellect and was a member of the Kennedy Family (and thus a boon to Arnold Schwarzenegger's political career).

However as she got older Maria Shriver became more obsessed with dieting / cutting back on food that she began to look like somekind of undead monster. Combined with this is the associated mental disorders such an eating disorder like anorexia brings with it. She became irritable, obsessive, problematic... in short she became a mental head case.

To treat such a problem what you need is a psychiatrist, which Arnold Schwarzenegger is not.

But what Arnold Schwarzenegger is however is a bodybuilding health nut. To him this wasting away of muscle and fat to leave only skin and bones would have been seen as the opposite of what Maria Shriver should be doing. If she wanted to look beautiful the thing to do is to eat well and exercise. That Arnold certainly knows.

It is therefore perhaps no surprise that approx. 14 years ago that Arnold Schwarzenegger cheated on his wife Maria Shriver in favour of the much more attractive housekeeper Patty (Mildred Patricia Baena) and in the process fathered a son, who has recently been the centre of much media attention.

As a working mother Patty had to take care of Maria and Arnold's four children, cook, clean and do laundry. She was certainly eating healthy and getting lots of exercise. She was a virtual sexy amazon compared to Maria Shriver's withered corpse of a body.

The point I am making here isn't that Arnold cheated on his anorexic wife. I am not endorsing cheating whatsoever. The point I am making is that anorexia is NOT sexy. Never is, never will be.

Only some seriously mentally deficient person would want to have sex with a skeleton. That is just plain sick.

With respect to Arnold Schwarzenegger it is no surprise that he tried to do the honourable thing and hold his family together long enough so his children could all grow up with a family, including the bastard son who apparently spent a reasonable amount of time on his estate. While he kept it a secret from his family, he made the son a welcome part of their extended family.

I would speculate that Arnold Schwarzenegger will eventually find love again in his life, but this time he will pay closer attention to finding someone who shares his interest in healthy diet and exercise.

See Also
The Perfect Female Body at Work
Dissatisfaction with Our Bodies and Eating Disorders
Anorexia in Asia
Thinspiration Sickspiration
Bulimia and Depression

Bacon Flavoured Grilled Cheese Sandwich

HEALTH - I don't like to waste food.

Heck, I don't even like to waste food byproducts... like bacon grease.

Thus when I had bacon yesterday I kept the grease in the pan and had fried eggs later.

And this morning I still had grease leftover, but I had run out of eggs... And then I looked at the cheddar cheese in my fridge and an idea sparked...

Minutes later I was grilling not one but TWO grilled cheese sandwiches in the frying pan, using the bacon grease.

And yes, it was delicious.

However on the health side of things it was so ridiculously fattening that I now feel a tad sick. I think I overdid it by making two of them (in an effort to use up more of the leftover grease) and now my arteries are going to be paying for it.

My only solution is that I shall have to exercise a lot today to work off all those extra calories I just consumed.

So my advice for other men (or women) out there is that if you are tempted to try making a grilled cheese sandwich using leftover bacon grease is JUST MAKE ONE! No need to overdo it!

I realize that men often overestimate what we can eat, even when we feel like we are starving. ie. "I could eat a horse!" But we really need to cutback on unnecessary calories when we really don't need them.

Just because we can eat that much doesn't mean we should.

:p

Veggie Burgers at Work - Yuck!

HEALTH - I tried to eat a veggie burger yesterday but only managed to finish 75% of it... let me explain why.

I can't eat mushy foods. Foods like squash, scalloped potatoes, really runny mashed potatoes, anything with consistency of baby food... For whatever reason it provokes my gag reflex and makes me want to vomit.

I think it has something to do with bad memories of mushy foods and vomiting. Even vomit itself is mushy.

Thus my attempt yesterday, in order to please my vegetarian dinner partner, was nothing short of daring. Around the 72% mark my gag reflex was going nuts and the mushed up ingredients in the veggie burger patty was simply too much. I had to stop before I puked in front of 25 vegetarians, all presumably enjoying their restaurant meal.

I picked the Deluxe Veggie Burger off the menu because it was really the only thing that looked vaguely familiar.

I had tried to order a Caesar salad, but their version of Caesar salad came with a whole bunch of extra veggies on it that I didn't like. I tried speaking to the waitress about ordering a normal basic Caesar salad (you know, the kind with croutons on it) but she informed me they don't have croutons... WTF! How can you have a Caesar salad without croutons???

Nothing else on the menu looked edible to me. Even the Soup of the Day looked like a spicy mixture of veggies and vomit. (The soup was "Spicy Tomato w/Chipotle & Spinach".)

The name of the restaurant in question was Fresh. Presumably the ingredients were all fresh, but the menu left much to be desired. You can see their menu in PDF format and what it is essentially is a trial in vegetarian extravaganza, like they're trying really hard to impress you by tossing all sorts of weird combinations at you... so many vegetables mixed together that there is bound to be more the one vegetable in the mix the average person won't like.

Lets take that Spicy Tomato w/Chipotle & Spinach Soup of the Day for example... I hate spinach, I am disgusted by Chipotle and I can only tolerate tomato.

Even the protein shakes were enough to make my stomach queasy. The Swoosh Shake contains: peanut butter, dark cocoa, maple syrup, banana, soymilk, cinnamon + protein powder. Peanut butter in a milk shake? Mixed with banana and cinnamon? WTF.

Might as well be sticking ketchup on my ice cream because that is how disgusting it sounds. Or chocolate on my pizza. Or some other combo that just doesn't work.

I was raised in a farming community north of Kitchener. Almost everything is home grown or homemade or both. My parents regularly visit and bring me homemade jam, pies, potatoes they grew themselves, maple syrup from our neighbours' and even meat from the butcher shop several miles down the road. Nothing is grown in a "factory farm" and the community has a large and growing number of Mennonites (they breed like rabbits).

That said I am used to what I would call normal vegetables, fruits and grains. Corn, peas, beets, carrots, lettuce, peppers, oatmeal, apples, pears, etc.

The moment you start adding non-normal vegetables to the mix the combination of flavours mushed together is such that I do two things: 1. I worry if I can even swallow such a mushy combination. 2. The thought of the flavour combination boggles my brain.

ie. Avocado Smoothie: Avocado, banana, spinach, pure coconut water.

Spinach and banana and avocado? What stoned vegan pothead thought up that mixture? (That is not a joke, there have been a number of recent newspaper articles about chefs who smoke pot either at work or after work. "Everybody smokes dope after work," says Anthony Bourdain, an author and chef who made his name chronicling drugs in professional kitchens. "People you would never imagine.")

Seriously, I don't know how else to describe it. Vegan chefs must be high on something to be making such weird combinations. They've lost touch reality and their taste buds have gone so haywire that they're coming up with new ways to make normal people puke.

(Oh and by the way, I did a test on Yahoo! Answers. I am not the only one who gets nauseated by mushy foods. My mother for example can't chew gum because she doesn't like the texture. My uncle Duncan can't eat peanut butter because of the texture and the stickiness of it. Its apparently a quite normal gag reflex. I also posted the question to the TV show Dr Oz and am waiting for a response.)

Oh and there's one more thing I wanted to comment on... years ago vegetarians were pretty basic... but then along came vegans and they upped the ante by refusing milk, dairy or anything else made from animal. (And yet count the number of times their clothes contains wool, silk or leather.)

And then came the people who insist upon organic pesticide free food. (To be considered organic a farmer's field has to be pesticide free for 8 years and can't be downwind from any other farm which uses pesticides. Suffice to say it is very difficult for farmers to switch to becoming organic because they have to go through 8 years where their crop won't sell for as much, and farmers are already struggling to pay their bills.)

The problem with organic food however is that it relies more heavily on genetically modified plants. So now many veggie eaters insist that they won't buy food which is GMOD, but frankly good luck proving which is which.

The point I am getting at is this is a hugely slippery slope. First the vegetarianism, then veganism, then organic foods, then anti-GMOD. What is next? Food that is grown using green technology and no fossil fuels used to transport it?

I think that is coming. Seriously, the way the green movement is going I wouldn't be surprised if the super-vegans out there don't start insisting their food be hand planted and grown, no tractors or combines, it has to be grown in a local greenhouse using solar and wind power in a pest free environment.

And then once the food is grown it has to be transported by bicycle to the Uber-Vegan Store which runs on solar power. No dog sleds allowed because that would count as animal cruelty. No sailboats either because you might hurt some fish on the way.

Now I admit that sounds ridiculous, but I am willing to bet there are people out there who would start insisting on these things once they realized it was an option.

At some point practicality needs to kick in.

Ten years ago I met a girl in university who described herself as a practical vegetarian... she will eat meat, but only so it doesn't go to waste. She and other practical vegetarians believe it is more important that food is not wasted or thrown out. She doesn't worry whether her ice cream or salad dressing has some non-organic product in it. Her food doesn't have to be quote unquote organic and I presume she didn't worry whether it was genetically modified or not.

As an omnivore I am all about practicality and taste. I don't like wasting money on food that I won't enjoy. To me that is highly unethical to buy food, taste it and then throw it away because I didn't like it. Hence why I managed to eat 75% of the above mentioned veggie burger. I tried to stomach it as best as I could because it was $9. (It didn't even come with fries!!!)

In retrospect I should have gone down the street and paid $3.50 for a Polish sausage on a bun. And enjoyed every last bit of it, not letting a single bite go to waste.

I think I can safely say I will never become a vegetarian. Not just because I love meat and I am on a high protein diet to compliment my weightlifting regimen, but also because the vomit-inducing, holier-than-thou, impractical veggie eating lifestyle just isn't for me.

Its just too nauseating.

A Slippery Nipple at Work

ENTERTAINMENT - The Slippery Nipple is a layered cocktail shooter.

• ½ shot of Sambuca
  
• ½ shot of Baileys
  

1. Pour the Sambuca into a conical shot glass.
2. Slowly & carefully pour the Baileys down the side of the glass so that the two liquids do not mix and the Baileys floats atop the Sambuca.
Optional: Place a cherry (the 'nipple') in the bottom of the shot glass before pouring the Sambuca.

Try also Icelandic Ice Tea:

• ½ shot of Vodka
  
• ½ shot of Blue Gin
  
• ½ shot of SourMix (to make it sweeter)
  
• Lots of crushed ice.
  

Mix together in a martini shaker, serve in a tall glass and enjoy.

Icelandic Ice Tea (or simply Iceland Ice Tea) was invented by Charles Moffat and Jeremy Mason.

Now what is the difference between these two drinks? One looks cool because the one liquid floats on top of the other, whereas the other one looks cool to drink because its that wonderful blue colour.

On the other hands the Slippery Nipple also has a sexy sounding name. A lot of cocktails do that... Orgasm, Sex on the Beach, Hanky-Panky, Hairy Virgin, Angel's Tit and so on.

I think its all part and parcel of the long history of alcohol and sex.

In fact a lot of human history can be blamed on alcohol. Not just unintended pregnancies, but also revolutions. The Boston Tea Party for example. With that in mind we can basically blame the formation of the United States of America... on a bunch of angry drunks who got pissed off at the British who dressed up like natives, rowed out to the British ship loaded with tea, and poured it all into the harbour.



And that was just the result of beer, whiskey, rum and gin. Proof that alcohol fuels social change.

Protein Supplements & Creatine at Work

HEALTH - If you've been keeping track you already know I am on a high protein diet as part of my weightlifting regimen. See my past post Hamburgers & Protein at Work for example.

I am also planning to get yoga lessons (to improve my core musculature) and my final goal is to look like a male supermodel (ie. Marcus Schenkenberg).

The thing is however is that in order to put on lots of muscle it helps if you eat the right amount of protein. Its recommended people who are working out regularly to be eating 1 gram of protein for every pound of their target weight. So if you want to weigh 200 lbs of pure muscle you need to ideally be eating 200 grams of protein per day.

That however is trickier than it sounds. Especially if you are on a budget and can't afford to buy meat as much as you want to. If you're a vegetarian you can just forget about it.

Meat (especially fresh meat, not that processed crap) contains creatine, an organic acid which supplies energy to muscle and helps in the production of new muscle tissue. Creatine got it name in 1832 when scientist Michel Eugène Chevreul discovered it and named it after the Greek word for flesh, Kreas.

Because creatine is only found in meat its much more difficult for vegans to grow muscle and they tend to have less energy and stamina in comparison.

Today I went to the Shoppers Drugmart across the road from me to buy some new shampoo (Yeah, Herbal Essences was on sale!) and pick up some Multivitamins.

Across the aisle from the vitamins however I spotted the protein supplements. The big round containers with the flashy logos and shiny packaging. Woooo. Shiny! And better yet they were on sale.

The problem is they all offer the same basic thing "Bulk Up Faster", "Build Muscle Fast", "Scientifically Superior to Other Strength Supplements"... bla bla bla. So how do you choose?

So I picked up some packages and went to talk to a pharmacist. She just kind of looked at me blankly and tried to explain what she knew about it... which wasn't a lot. I wanted to know how it worked and apparently she didn't really know much about protein supplements.

Thus when it came to choosing I just picked the chocolate-flavoured one with 52 grams of protein per serving. Since my target weight is about 180 lbs an extra serving of this every time I workout at the gym would be beneficial. I don't think I am getting enough protein in my diet currently.

I also asked the pharmacist about a package of creatine pills. She didn't really know too much about it either, hence why I had to do some research when I got home (and am now passing that knowledge unto you!).

I did NOT however buy the creatine pills. The package I did buy already contains creatine. I figured I shouldn't really by doubling up on the stuff, plus I wanted to do some more research on the topic before I invested $19.99 on a bottle of pills that I didn't know how they worked.

(I am one of those people who like to disassemble things to see how they work. One of the reasons I love Lego.)

Now the trick is that I don't want to bulk up too much. Sure, I bought the supplement, but that is all it is. A supplement. Extra protein and vitamins because I am not getting enough. I don't want to look like a big bodybuilder. Its too grotesque.

I am much more concerned about not looking like my father did when he was in his 30s and 40s, with a paunch et al. I want to have a body I can be proud of and once I reach that goal maintain it.

And yes, I did take some before pictures. When I reach my goal I will post the before and after photos.

Tiny Hamburgers at Work

Have you seen the new Burger King commercial with their tiny little burgers called "BK Burger Shots".



For $1.39 each, they're gone in less than 2 bites. (That is approx. $.70 per bite.)

In theory you could chew slowly and try to enjoy them, but that would defeat the purpose of fast food wouldn't it?

The point I am making is what a FUNDAMENTAL waste of money. Sure, $1.39 may not seem like a lot, but when you consider other items on the menu at fast food restaurants why would you pick the little tiny burgers when you could pick something else?

As a man, and behalf of all meat-loving men who appreciate a good burger, I'd have to say when I'm going to plunk down cash for something to eat I usually go for the meal that gives me the "most meat for my buck". Why the heck would I buy a bunch of little tiny burgers? Shouldn't I be looking for a big-freaking-sirloin burger?

Lets take A&W for example. A&W has its new Sirloin Uncle Burger available, and its roughly the same size as the Papa Burger (which has two smaller patties, but roughly the same amount of meat).

Women, if you're reading this, yes, you read correctly. We men use considerable brain power trying to determine which burger is the BIGGEST, and sometimes which one contains the most protein (juicy sirloin or jumbo burger, so difficult to decide).

Its not just burgers either. When I am grocery shopping and lets say I am comparing Chunky soups, I buy the can with the highest % of protein content. Chunky Steak and Potato has 7 grams per 250 mL while Chunky Sirloin Burger has 8 grams per 250 mL.

It is my opinion that that BK Burger Shots are actually aimed at anorexic women who are worried about their weight. Just my opinion. Which is funny because they wouldn't be caught dead eating at Burger King.

That and children. That is right. Its a kiddie burger being marketed to adults.

To any of you men out there who eat those tiny burgers, you should be ashamed of yourself for falling for lame advertising.