Long Dongs on the Beach

"I am filling out my personals profile for this dating website. I guess I will just say I am down to earth."

"I am so down to earth I am subterranean."

"Oh yeah, well I am so down to earth I am Magma Man."

"Awesome superhero name. Magma Man. Whats your powers? Melting stuff and then becoming a rock?"

"Maybe. I haven't decided. Sounds better than my pornstar name."

"Oh?"

"Long Dong Silver"

"See. This is why you are on personals websites in the first place writing things like about being down to earth and long walks on the beach."

"Maybe so. But what you said gives me an idea: Long Dongs on the Beach."

"That sounds more like a cocktail drink."

"1 banana, uncut, 2 shots of rum, 1 of vodka, sourmix and finely chopped ice in a tall glass."

"Wow. Now I want to try that drink."

Happy drinking!

Beer Goggles at Work

ENTERTAINMENT/SEX - According to Professor Lewis Halsey and two colleagues from Roehampton University they've discovered that "Beer Goggles" doesn't just impair one's judgement, but also effects our sense of beauty.

The trio interviewed a long list of students visiting a local pub near the university and did a series of tests by showing them photos of people to see if they could tell the images had been altered to make them less symmetrical.

Symmetry is considered to be an important aspect of what makes a person beautiful. After dividing the people into two groups (drunk vs non-drunk) using a breathalyzer they determined that drunk people are unable to differentiate assymetry.



Thus "Beer Goggles" really does make people around you look more attractive, at least as far as your brain is concerned.

Tracking the results the researchers also discovered women are more prone to losing their sense of assymetry. Not because they get drunk easier, oh no, its because men pay more attention to appearance... or more precisely, men leer at women and are checking out their breasts/etc in detail.

In which case leering may actually be an evolutionary skill designed to pick out women which are more symmetrical and healthy looking. Whoddathunkit?

A Slippery Nipple at Work

ENTERTAINMENT - The Slippery Nipple is a layered cocktail shooter.

• ½ shot of Sambuca
  
• ½ shot of Baileys
  

1. Pour the Sambuca into a conical shot glass.
2. Slowly & carefully pour the Baileys down the side of the glass so that the two liquids do not mix and the Baileys floats atop the Sambuca.
Optional: Place a cherry (the 'nipple') in the bottom of the shot glass before pouring the Sambuca.

Try also Icelandic Ice Tea:

• ½ shot of Vodka
  
• ½ shot of Blue Gin
  
• ½ shot of SourMix (to make it sweeter)
  
• Lots of crushed ice.
  

Mix together in a martini shaker, serve in a tall glass and enjoy.

Icelandic Ice Tea (or simply Iceland Ice Tea) was invented by Charles Moffat and Jeremy Mason.

Now what is the difference between these two drinks? One looks cool because the one liquid floats on top of the other, whereas the other one looks cool to drink because its that wonderful blue colour.

On the other hands the Slippery Nipple also has a sexy sounding name. A lot of cocktails do that... Orgasm, Sex on the Beach, Hanky-Panky, Hairy Virgin, Angel's Tit and so on.

I think its all part and parcel of the long history of alcohol and sex.

In fact a lot of human history can be blamed on alcohol. Not just unintended pregnancies, but also revolutions. The Boston Tea Party for example. With that in mind we can basically blame the formation of the United States of America... on a bunch of angry drunks who got pissed off at the British who dressed up like natives, rowed out to the British ship loaded with tea, and poured it all into the harbour.



And that was just the result of beer, whiskey, rum and gin. Proof that alcohol fuels social change.