Russian Mail Order Brides at Work

TECHNOLOGY - We live in an era of spam... and within the context of spam nothing is more humourous than the emails from Russian mail order brides with horrible English, hot photos, and generic auto-responses that ultimately lead to asking for money.

And its presumed you never see or hear from them again afterwards. No bride ever "comes in the mail" or arrives by airplane.

In theory I could block all the spam just by creating a filter for all the names typically used by the Russian mail order bride scamsters... Tatyana is popular, but so is Katya, Olga and a few others.

I've received so many of the spams I've become a bit of an expert on the topic. I don't delete them quickly as I should, instead I like playing with them by asking them questions:

"Hey, how do you say hello in Russian?" and other language questions because I want to see what kind of response I will get. Usually they just ignore such questions and send another form response telling you about their favourite colours, how they like cooking and pleasing their man, how subservient they are and whatnot (basically the perfect 1950s housewife).

Or sometimes I will ask them something complex and hypothetical like:

"If you had to choose which would you rather be: A billionaire paraplegic or the ugliest person on the face of the planet, so ugly no one would ever love you?" or "Which do you prefer? The man of your dreams who cheats on you and treats you badly, or a guy with a sense of humour who is utterly faithful to you, but physically is quite ugly?"

If I am lucky I might get a real response, depends whether they actually read the emails. It does occasionally happen that its a real person answering the emails.

In which case they all eventually start asking for money so they can buy a plane ticket and come visit you, usually within the first 4-5 emails.

In which case, get real! Even in a hypothetical situation wherein I was sending love letters online to someone I was interested in overseas I would not be sending money to them or wanting to go visit them for at LEAST six months of constant daily emails.

For reference purposes its not just Russians that do this rather shoddy scam. I've also received variations of it from Nigeria, India, China, Japan, Bulgaria, Romania and I presume there are others. Its a really pathetic scam when you think about it.

And just imagine if it was real? What kind of relationship would you have if this poor girl who can barely speak English shows up on your doorstep? Eventually she is going to get bored and since the 'relationship' was built on a fraud to get her into your country by bypassing VISA applications with a marriage license the end result is the relationship is a big sham.

In reality they should be paying YOU to come to your country, marry you, get divorced after the paperwork is finalized and you pocket your payment. From what I've heard the base price for such a service is $100,000 CDN. (Heck, a Canadian passport alone is worth $50,000 USD on the black market.)

Seriously, if Canada accepted more immigrants that are simply loaded with cash we could pay off our $511 billion National Debt quite quickly. At the rate of $100,000 each we could pay off the debt just by accepting 5.11 million more wealthy immigrants into the country. And frankly, who doesn't want wealthy immigrants? They boost our economy. We should open the doors wide open to every wealthy person wanting to come to Canada, buy a home and setup a business.

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