Raptophobia Vs Homophobia

Raptophobia is the fear of rape.

Homophobia is the fear of homosexuals.

I bring up this topic for two reasons: 1. There is a clear difference between these two things. 2. Because I was watching the final season of Spartacus last night, including the scene where Julius Caesar gets raped by Tiberius Crassus, the son of Marcus Crassus.

Caesar was not afraid of Tiberius prior to the rape. He didn't like him because he was a rival and they were both hungry for power, but their sexualities played no role in it.

During the season, Tiberius rapes two people, Caesar and also a slave girl belonging to Tiberius' father Marcus Crassus. When Tiberius is captured in a trap by Spartacus, Caesar is sent to barter for Tiberius' life (even though Caesar now secretly wants him dead), and after negotiating for his release the boy is killed by the slave girl he had raped (who had fled her master and joined up with Spartacus' army out of fear of her master's son). So Caesar was actually pleased at that turn of events.


It is a complicated plot I admit. I am summarizing and abbreviating as best as I can. Watch the whole series if you want more details.

No where in the plot is there homophobia. But there is raptophobia - the fear of rape - a theme which continues from first season onwards, a smaller part of the master vs slave theme of the whole series which leads Spartacus into leading a slave rebellion against their Roman masters.

I think however that there is an important distinction between the fear of rape and the so-called fear of homosexuals. Having a healthy fear of being raped is normal. Everyone is afraid of rape, much like we are all afraid of dying, public speaking, etc. Having an actual fear of homosexuals suggests it is an irrational fear.

If we say "Rob Ford is a homophobe." does that mean he pees his pants and runs away every time he meets a gay person? No. He does not. (Although it would be funny if he did.)

The terms "homophobe" and "homophobia" are really inaccurate. What we really should be saying is "Rob Ford hates homosexuals." because that is more accurate.

It would be like confusing raptophilia (people who get turned on by rape) with raptophobia (people who are afraid of being raped) or raptodium (the hatred of rapists and rape, from the latin words rapto and odium).

Thus the proper way to say it is actually "Rob Ford is a homodiumite." Which I admit homodiumite doesn't roll off the tongue quite so easily, but at least it is accurate.

Thus when you hear or read about religious wackos thumping their bibles and saying horrible things about gay people, those people are not really afraid of gay people. They are just homodiumites - people who have an irrational hatred of gay people.

It has nothing to do with raptophobia or homophobia. They aren't pissing themselves in fear. They are just bigots who love hating things.

Raptophobia is sometimes associated with androphobia (the fear of men). This is not to be confused with androdium (the hatred of men), although sometimes fear and hatred coincide where rape victims are concerned.

For example I hate spammers. All spammers should die long and horrible deaths. Telemarketers too. They should all be crucified outside the city to warn others not to spam people or you will end up getting crucified too. That makes me a "spammerodiumite".

It is not like I am afraid of spam or spammers. I just hate them and I wish they would stop spamming me.

For the record I am very happy Rob Ford is no longer the mayor of Toronto. Now if only John Tory would have a "dead prostitute scandal" or something similar that would push him out of office I would be happy. Seriously. John Tory looks like the type of politician who has a few dead prostitute skeletons in the closet. You never know, he might even make Rob Ford look like a loveable jerk if people discover John Tory has been sneaking around doing some pretty nasty stuff.

But regardless of my disgust of John Tory, I will at least say that he still had the balls to go to Toronto's Gay Pride Parade (unlike Rob Ford who ignored his mayoral duties for 4 years). Although admittedly he did use his participation in the event as a blatant attempt to win votes. Meh. At least he showed up.

English Slang Terms for Gentleman's Sausage and Milady's Rosebush

Penis 1. Maypole (1621) 2. Pioneer of nature (1653) 3. Master John Goodfellow (1653) 4. Generating tool (1653) 5. Evesdropper (1653) 6. Cyprian scepter (1653) 7. Don Cypriano (1653) 8. Matrimonial peacemaker (1708) 9. Gentleman usher (1719) 10. Rule of three (1720)—this refers to the whole genital area 11. Silent flute (1720) 12. Arbor vitae (1732) 13. Impudence (1783) 14. Staff of life (1836) 15. Mr. Peaslin (1883) 16. Credentials (1895)

Vagina 1. Belle-chose (1386) 2. Altar of Venus (1584) 3. Netherlands (1591) 4. Placket-lace (1593) 5. Phoenix nest (1618) 6. Nature’s treasury (1635) 7. Contrapunctum (1653) 8. Privy-counsel (1664) 9. Aphrodisiacal tennis court (1665) 10. Lady’s low toupee (1721) 11. Mount Pleasant (1748) 12. Petticoat lane (1790) 13. Venerable monosyllable (1796) 14. Fancy article (1822) 15. Mrs. Fubbs’ parlor (1823) 16. Antipodes (1832) 17. Thatched cottage (1835) 18. Cyprian fountain (1846) 19. Road to a christening (1903)

Old Married Couples who Argue at Work

Old married couples argue a lot. You know the ones I mean.

Especially if your parents argued a LOT and never got divorced even though they wanted to get divorced but "stayed together for the kids". Then you will know what I mean on an intimate level because it happened to you.

But I have to wonder which is more traumatic for a child:

1) Getting a divorce.

2) Staying together and putting your kids through hell as you argue constantly.

Option 2 could even include spousal abuse, which means the children might be witnessing all manner of spouse on spouse violence - and growing up might continue that cycle of violence with their own spouse.

Any kind of spousal abuse is immediate grounds for divorce in my book. Regardless of who the victim of the abuse is, they should also make efforts to document the abuse with photos, video and visiting a doctor, and police.

And back up photos / videos online so the spouse cannot delete them. Quick and easy way to do that is to email the files to a friend or family member for safekeeping. Or multiple friends / family members.

Anyway, even without abuse you need to be thinking "What is the effect of all this arguing on the children?"

Well it is traumatizing to say the least. To the point that children sometimes run away, attempt suicide due to stress, get into drugs or alcohol, develop severe depression, become violent and act out, etc. I don't have any scientific studies to back this up, this is just my observations based on years of witnessing various parents who probably should not be together and argue so much their kids are traumatized.

It would be very interesting to see a scientific study done on the topic. It is possible there is several studies on the topic, so feel free to try and find one and then post the link in the comments.

Male Forgetfulness / Distractions at Work

I am feeling guilty today because I forgot something important yesterday - and I am in the proverbial doghouse today because of it.

Now I admit I was very busy working yesterday plus I am suffering from an allergic reaction to a bee sting that has me limping everywhere.

But I still should have remembered.

I admit it. I am not making up excuses. Yes I was super busy. Yes I was distracted from the pain I was in. But I still should have remembered.

Think of the worst thing you could forget about when it comes to your wife or girlfriend, and there you go. That is what I forgot.

Even if you are thinking of the same thing I am thinking of you should still be: "Oh!!!!! Yep, you totally should not have forgotten that! You're pretty dumb to forget that!!!"

So apparently I am pretty dumb.

And I feel really guilty and bad about it. Moron me forgot something this important.

Next week...

Apologies at Work. How to Apologize for being a Braindead Boyfriend.

A Guy Moment at Work

Today I want to talk about GUY MOMENTS. Moments that only GUYS will understand.

There will be similar female equivalents to these moments, but how women describe such a moment and how men describe Guy Moments are very different.

I will give examples.

One time I was sitting on the subway and across from me was another guy roughly my age. Then a beautiful woman with an amazing *** walks by. Both of our heads turn and we watch her lovely *** leave the subway at the next stop. Then we turned to look at each with goofy boyish grins on our faces. Then I said to him "I think she works out." He grinned and nodded. "Yep. That girl definitely likes to work on her assets."

And there you go. Two men oggling the same woman and sharing the moment without fighting over her.

In a very different scenario two men might have fought over. A bar, they had both been drinking, the girl had made sexual advances on both men and played one against the other deliberately. That could lead to a very different guy moment wherein one man says to the other: "Well I guess we should just roll up our sleeves, go outside and fight this out."

And the other guy goes: "We could. Or we could play darts and the winner gets to ask her out. Less police involved. And if either of us disputes the winner we can still fight it out in the alley later."

And there you go. A Guy Moment wherein two men realize they can solve their problem more amicably by playing darts and not falling for some lame trick by the female to determine which is the Alpha Male. (Certain types of women are only attracted to Alpha Men.)

Here is a 3rd example of a Guy Moment:

Two men seeing something happening and both decide to act at the same time to prevent a disaster. They might even speak in unison if they are thinking the same thing, such as "Grab the other end of the ladder!"

Now you might think, wait, how is that a Guy Moment? Can't a woman think fast in an emergency too? Yes of course they can. But a woman's plan of action will often differ dramatically from a man's plan of action because many men think in terms of simplistic brute force. Eg. "Lets just charge at the gunman and whack him with the ladder!"

Now I admit, yes, some women might come up with a plan such as hitting someone with a big aluminum ladder - but it would be very few women who would come up with such a plan that requires that level of brute force.

Here is another example of how two men might share the same thought. Faced with a deranged gunman who starts shooting people at random, both men decide 'simultaneously' to kick the gunman in the testes. Now women are able to have that thought, but when a man thinks of that there is also the acknowledgement that they know how PAINFUL getting kicked in the testes is - both on a physical level and psychologically.

(True, women might - if they are a mother - know the pain of childbirth, but that is a feeling not all women experience - and it is not a true equivalent.) Thus only men who have kicked in the testes - as most men have, at least once been on the receiving end - can truly appreciate the sense of comraderie when two men decide upon the same action.
Doubtless you can think of your own Guy Moments. Please write them in the comments section.