How I missed my chance to have a threesome

Back when I was 21 years old (so many years ago) I was dating a girl who was 18 and still in highschool.

Everything was going fine with the relationship - so I thought - until I found out that she was seeing 7 other guys on a regular basis.

And I was like WTF? Why are you seeing (and sleeping with) 7 other guys?

And she responded that she is just friends with them - friends with benefits. And that I was the same thing, just a friend with benefits.

Myself I was quite heartbroken. So I gave her an ultimatum, break it off the other guys and go out with only me.

Because quite frankly I wanted a monogamous relationship. I didn't want to share her with other men.

She said she would think about it.

Then out of the blue her best friend, a girl she hangs out with a lot whom I had previously met, calls me up and wants to hang out. Clueless, I say okay. So she comes to my university and we hang out on the campus and in my dorm room and I get the distinct impression she is hitting on me. She was saying things like how her boyfriend wasn't doing it for her any more and she was thinking of breaking up with him, etc. Basically trying to put the moves on me.

Meanwhile I am still in my monogamy frame of mind and I politely just hang out with her, nothing happens and she eventually went home looking disappointed.

Now at the time I thought my girlfriend (if you can call her that when she is sleeping with 7 other men) was just sending her friend to spy on me. It was pretty obvious that this was a setup for something - I thought it was to see if I would cheat on her and so I did not.

However I had interpreted everything all wrong. Years later I have finally figured it out.

Her friend was there to determine if I would sleep with her, and then the two of the girls together would somehow (deviously) organize a threesome or some kind of group sex event.

It is blatantly obvious now what their plan was, but at the time I was young, naive and clueless.

I am certain it would have ended badly too. I am too much of a monogamy person that I would have gotten jealous of her sleeping with other men. Other women I could deal with, but not other men.

72-year-old retired boxer beats up burglar

A burglar who broke into a house and threatened a 72-year-old pensioner with a knife got more than he bargained for when the elderly victim turned out to be a retired boxer who left him bruised and bleeding.

Frank Corti, 72, who served with the Royal Engineers in North Africa from 1956-58, dodged the knife and punched Gregory McCalium, 23, twice in the face, giving him a black eye and a swollen lip and sent him reeling to the floor. He then restrained the attacker until police arrived.

McCalium, a barman who was down on his luck, was given a four-and-a-half year prison sentence at Oxford Crown Court on June 24th 2013 for aggravated burglary and was told by the judge he "got what he deserved".

The court heard that Mr Corti was at home in Botley, Oxford, with his wife Margaret, 72, when the young McCalium, a neighbour, forced his way in at 8 AM on August 19th 2012 . McCalium was drunk and depressed from a recent bout of bad luck - and his bac luck was about to get a lot worse.

Speaking after the case, Mr Corti said: "I was scared when he first drew the knife, but my old training must have kicked in because I just punched him as hard as I could and he went down like a sack of spuds. If you can't defend what's yours, where are we at?"

 McCalium had denied the charge and claimed he could not remember what happened. Which is perhaps true. Drunk and punched twice in the head, he may not remember trying to rob the elderly man at all.

But it certainly makes for a funny story.

For private boxing lessons in Toronto contact CardioTrek.ca. Boxing is great for fun, exercise and even punching burglars. :)

People with a Low Sex Drive at Work

I cannot understand men or women who have a low or basically non existent sex drive.

To me having a sex drive is part and parcel of being human - it is the driving force behind our need to fall in love, get married, have a family and procreate. Without our sex drive the human species would have died out long ago due to sheer lack of procreation.

Thus to me people who have no apparent sex drive - or are basically not interested in sex - there must be something WRONG with them. Either hormones wise or something in their head psychologically that prevents them from becoming aroused during romantic / sexual situations.

Now I am not a neuroscientist but I am confident there has been a fair amount of research into this topic so lets see what I can find out by doing a quick Google search on the topic...

Here are my findings.

#1. There are many pharmaceuticals that have "low sex drive" listed as a side effect. This suggests to me that it is very easy to create a chemical imbalance which causes a low sex drive. However that doesn't explain people with "no sex drive" whatsoever.

#2. Dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin levels play a huge role in sexual desire for both men and women. A depletion in these three chemicals (or even just 1 of them) can result in a lower sex drive. Someone with a lowered amount in two of the chemicals or even all three would have a tiny or possibly even non existent sex drive. Each of these hormones play a different role in the body, but block any one of them and you can get some weird results.

Dopamine for example is critical for motivation and desire: if it’s depleted or blocked (with a medication like an antipsychotic, for example), people may lose the will to strive, even the ability to move. But boost it with a drug like cocaine and people feel capable, excited, empowered, overconfident.

Which begs the question, could synthetic cocaine or a similar drug be used as an aphrodisiac?

Dopamine doesn't just affect sexual desire either. It is also connected to our desire for food, sleep, social interaction and connected to addictions to everything from gambling to exercise addiction.

Oxytocin meanwhile is called the "love hormone" and is responsible for those feelings we get affect watching romantic movies, having sex and cuddling, or even consuming large amounts of chocolate. On the flip side, a lack of oxytocin is connected to social disconnection disorders like autism and aspergers. Oxytocin is largely involved in feelings related to intimacy, social bonding, and even concentration / awareness on your surroundings. Thus a person with a shortage of oxytocin will be more of a social outcast and lack interest in developing intimacy with other people.

Serotonin is actually weird. Low and high amounts can actually have different opposite effects on sex drive. A low amount can actually trigger a high sex drive sometimes, but the person will be more depressed and less choosy about their sexual partners - in other words they will sleep around a lot because their serotonin levels are so low and they have a correspondingly low self esteem. Really high serotonin levels can still be attached to a high sex drive too, but the person will be more choosy about who they are sleeping with and are more likely to have only one sexual partner.

Thus a person with low dopamine and low oxytocin will likely be anti social and lack sexual desire. Coupled with a "calming" amount of serotonin in their system and they won't feel the need to have sex at all.

#3. Not all low sex drives is caused by hormones. Sometimes it can be something as simple as a pinched pelvic nerve in the wrong spot which prevents orgasm and even arousal in some people. Such physiological problems however can now be solved with elective surgery.

#4. Other non listed physiological reasons. I am not going to list them all, but basically it can be a physiological defect - such as having one's clitoris removed in a clitoridectomy (an operation popular in some Muslim African countries where women are treated rather poorly and they don't want women to enjoy sex that much).

#5. Mental trauma, such as sexual abuse or rape in the person's past which has since caused them to be unable to become aroused.

Now with respect to this last one - 33% of women in North America are sexually abused at some point in their lifetime. While this doesn't always result in severe trauma, it does indicate that such abuse is far too commonplace and that in the extreme cases it is really no surprise if the trauma is so severe it causes permanent damage to the woman's psyche.

I don't know what percentage of men are abused, but we can assume it is probably a larger number than we would normally guess because men are too afraid of being stigmatized by admitting that they were the victim of such abuse.

#6. Stress.

Yes, stress can be a factor in low sex drive. But it doesn't erradicate sex drive entirely because stress induced low sex drive is just temporary. People going through high and low bouts of stress eventually learn to cope with their stress and then use sex as a release to reduce their stress levels.

#7. General Dislike.

A couple who are going through problems such as communication or compatibility problems will have a reduced sex drive - and that reduced sex drive may eventually be the lynch pin which drives them apart permanently. Disliking the person you are with - for whatever reason - means you are going to start resenting having sex with them, like it is some kind of obligation or chore you have to do to maintain the relationship. Once sex is reduced to a chore it is no longer fun and you lose interest in it.

This happened to me once when I was in university. True story. During my 4th year of university I moved into an apartment with a girl and we got a lease. NEVER GET A LEASE! Due to the lease I ended up maintaining the relationship, but near the end I was withholding sex because I had grown to dislike her so much that I had lost all interest in her sexually. (That and she was insatiable anyway and I was tired of the chore it had become to keep her satisfied 24/7.)

But again, like stress this doesn't mean the person has a low sex drive so much. It just means they'd rather break up and find someone new. Which I eventually did once the lease was done.

CONCLUSIONS

I must admit people with very low sex drives still seem alien to me. I can't even imagine having a low sex drive and not wanting to have sex regularly (especially with someone I feel deeply and passionately about).

Note: I think personals websites would be wise to include a Sexual Compatibility Survey so people can check to see if they are compatible with people they meet online before they meet in real life. This way if someone is into things you aren't into that you can ensure you are getting into a relationship that has potential to last on the sexual level. A woman with a high sex drive meeting a man with a low or non existent sex drive will be sorely disappointed. And vice versa. Likewise a person who is into nudist colonies and kama sutra will be disappointed when they meet someone who is a conservative prude beneath the sheets.

Lack of sex / sexual incompatibility is one of the driving forces behind the divorce rate in many countries.

Exercising for Women - Why is it taboo?

There is a weird double standard within society when it comes to women exercising.

Women are expected to be beautiful - because men desire beautiful women, and women want to be desirable.

But in order to maintain the kind of beauty that men find desirable, women need to exercise.

However on a cultural level women who exercise are considered to be less than feminine. They are referred to by any number of derogatory names: Tomboys, dykes, etc. Even female athletes are treated poorly because they are seen as less than male athletes.

And yet judging by videos like the one further below, females who exercise (even those who aren't athletes) are highly desirable.

It is as if women are expected to have cake and they're allowed to eat it for once, but they're not allowed to make it somehow.

So how are women supposed to get this beautiful body they're expected to have without exercising? Diet? That just leads to eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia. Or worse, yo-yo dieting and stretch marks from rapid weight changes.


What really needs to happen is a cultural change wherein women who exercise are more revered by society as a whole - as opposed to one aspect of society supporting exercise for women and another aspect of society condoning it and treating women who exercise as less than feminine.

Having watched the video above do you think the women in the video were less than feminine? Probably not. They are very obviously feminine and very attractive to boot.

This means we need to endorse and applaud women who exercise and give young women more positive role models who are female athletes they can look up to. Not just in North America either, but globally.

From a male perspective this means two things - more attractive women out there - and it means that we men need to do better ourselves and exercise more because we aren't as fit as we like to think we are.

Disclosure, 1994 film about sexual harrassment

DISCLOSURE - 1994 film starring Michael Douglas and Demi Moore.

The film plot centers around a sexual harassment case in which Michael Douglas' character Tom Sanders charges Demi Moore's character Meredith Johnson with sexual harassment and sexual assault.

What makes this particular film interesting is the whole role reversal of how sexual harassment cases normally go (the male harassing the female) - in combination with office politics, double standards between men and women - and how NO MEANS NO even when it is the man saying no.

In the YouTube clip above Tom Sanders says NO 34 times.

I totally recommend you watch this film. It is simply really awesome.

On a personal note I was sexually harassed during university.

A young woman and myself were in the same student association and one day we had office hours together and she told me that we were destined to be together (she said something about the stars and heavenly bodies aligning) and basically asked me to take her (sexually) on the desk in the office.

I made up an excuse about being double-booked and fled the room. (My girlfriend at the time was none too pleased to hear that another woman had been hitting on me.)

Hasn't happened since then, but she did creep me out to the point that I stopped going to association meetings. In retrospect I probably should have filed a complaint against her with the university - although that would have been a Disclosure esque idea and perhaps drawn unwanted attention.

SPOILER ALERT!

Don't read past this point if you intend to actually watch the movie Disclosure.

In the resulting court case justice wins in the end... and when that fails it turns out that Meredith Johnson's primary goal was to make Tom Sanders look incompetent - both in terms of trying to make it look like he sexually harassed her, except he filed a counter suit and later discovered an audio recording of the sexual assault which gave him an ironclad case against her.

Furthermore, due to further corporate backstabbing, Meredith also tried to make him look incompetent by rigging the factories to make faulty CD-ROM drives - all so she could further herself in the company for an important promotion they were both seeking to get.

But again Tom managed (barely) to outsmart her there by digging up old memos and even video of her, proving that she had deliberately made changes to the manufacturing process in an effort to make him look incompetent.

Muscle Gain at Work

My winter goal was to do a lot of weightlifting and put on a lot of muscle over course of the winter.

I weighed myself today. 183 lbs with clothes off. Up from 165 lbs when I last weighed myself in December. And yet I've lost belly fat over the winter due to my exercising / weightlifting regimen. Not a lot, but enough that it is probably about 3 to 5 lbs.

Which leaves only two possible explanations... I've either put on about 20 lbs of muscle during the winter - or I've gained weight due to increased bone density (most likely it is a combination of muscle and bone density, because weightlifting also boosts bone density).

I have put on more muscle mass over the winter, but I didn't think it was anywhere close to 20 lbs. That is a lot more than I was expecting.

In other news I also bought new running shoes for jogging this Spring and Summer. Nike Crosstrainers. (I've purchased many Nike shoes over the years, but never cross-trainers before.)

My goal is lose even more belly fat now that is is Spring by doing a lot of jogging, cycling and to continue my weightlifting regimen. The end goal of which is to have really nice six-pack abs. Having the new running shoes will certainly help with that.

Still... back to the muscle growth it boggles my mind that I put on that much muscle/bone density weight in the space of 4 months (December, January, February, March). Roughly 5 lbs of muscle per month...

And to be fair I wasn't even trying that hard. Some days I worked extra hard on the weightlifting and some days I didn't do any weightlifting at all. (You are supposed to have rest periods in-between heavy weightlifting days in order to avoid muscle fatigue.)

Which proves that while I wasn't trying that hard, I still succeeded at putting on way more muscle than I was expecting. Approx. 5 lbs of muscle per month over a 4 month period.

Now to be fair, I am a certified personal trainer and I do know quite a bit about the topic of building extra muscle (see the articles below on my personal training website), but even I wasn't expecting to build 20 lbs of extra muscle so easily.

How Fast Can You Grow Muscle

How To Test Your Muscle Tone

Two Alternative Models for Predicting Muscle Growth

How To Measure Muscle Mass

Now part of what might be surprising me is that while the fat I lost over the winter was noticeable, the muscle I gained over the winter was not as easily noticeable. Yes, I do know I've put on extra muscle... But I think a lot of it is back muscles, core muscles and muscle weight in areas I can't really see that easily without a mirror.

Thus it doesn't really work for me to get out the calipers and measure my back muscles. I can't really reach properly and I never measure my back muscles in December so I don't really have a clue what my back muscles looked like back then.

I've also noticed it in my biceps, triceps and shoulders, but the change isn't super obvious.

As a personal trainer ideally I should be in really good shape - and eat properly. But to be fair I am currently not in spectacular shape. I got my certification back in November, and while I am muscular and fit I still have a bit of belly fat I would like to shed... and I would like those muscles to be more pronounced - which means I need to do two things:

#1. Cardio, to shed those last few pounds of belly fat.

#2. A lot more weightlifting.

The good news is I am seeing lots of progress, so that makes me really motivated to keep going. And that is really the hardest part, motivating yourself to exercise daily. If I keep up my weightlifting regimen I might be able to put on another 30 to 40 lbs of muscle weight by January of 2014.

When I was younger I had six-pack abs because I was running around on a farm every day. Since moving to Toronto and going to university I put on a lot of fat in an hurry. It has since been a decade since I graduated and while I have lost about 40 lbs of fat in the last 4 years, I still have a few more lbs to shed before I get my six-pack abs back.

Reminder to Self - Do a follow up post in September to see the status of my abs.

Farts, Farting and Fart Jokes

Oh and belching.

Let us not forget belching.

Farting and belching are two perfectly normal and indeed HEALTHY aspects of human existence.

"Fart proudly." 
- Benjamin Franklin.

Even back in the 1700s Benjamin Franklin and many others knew that farting was wealthy and perfectly normal. Same goes with belching. Nothing wrong with a good healthy belch.

And yet some people associate farting and belching with being impolite. They're sometimes embarrassing, but they are not impolite.

It is no more impolite than uncontrollable laughter. Why? Because it is UNCONTROLLABLE. Farting and belching are uncontrollable bodily functions, much like breathing, your heart beating, and the need to visit the bathroom for #1 or #2.

Sort of like Elaine's uncontrollable laughter in the following Seinfeld clips.



Farting and belching...

Perfectly natural.

Just not socially acceptable.

I will give you an example.

When I was in grade 9 (omidragon that was decades ago...) I remember drinking a Coca-Cola and then belching in English class. A girl who sat near me turned around and said "You sexist pig!"

Now tell me... What is sexist about someone belching?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I could have farted and that would not have been remotely sexist either.

Piggish on the other hand. Have you ever seen a pig belch? I have not.

Although I did manage to find a video of a dog named "Pig" belching. Not the same thing obviously. Kind of cute really.



With a bit more effort I did eventually find a video of a pig belching. It wasn't remotely sexist either.



So here is the thing.

I think in that particular scenario, the girl from my English class... She was the one being sexist. She was following a sexist stereotype that men are rude sexist pigs that belch and fart all the time. She heard me belch, and immediately concluded - jumped to the conclusion based on a ridiculously sexist stereotype - that I must be a sexist pig just because I belched after drinking a Coca-Cola.

And honestly, its a freaking Coca-Cola. Who doesn't belch after drinking a Coke?

And to illustrate my point here is a video of a man drinking 2 litres of Coca-Cola and then belching.

List of Toilet Phobias

NOTE - This isn't one of my normal topics. I just felt it was funny.

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Common Toilet Phobia - Parcopresis / psychogenic fecal retention, whereby the sufferer is unable to defecate unless they have a certain level of privacy. Its called "Common" Toilet Phobia because it is surprisingly common.

Commodaphobia - One who is afraid of toilets in general and avoids them entirely.

Toilet Germophobia - The fear of unsanitary toilets which might have feces or urine on the seat.

Some of these below don't have real names... but they are real phobias. I have a few of these myself. Some of them are pretty common.

Shitmypants Phobia - The fear of needing to get to the toilet and not getting there on time. This fear is intensified when you have diarrhea.

iSplash Toilet Phobia - The fear of dropping your iPhone or other precious item in the toilet.

Splattermatterphobia - The fear of what may be on the underside of the toilet seat in a public bathroom.

Recycled Toilet Water Phobia - The fear that the water from the toilet is somehow immediately recycled and made into your drinking water.

Monster Toilet Phobia - The fear that the toilet is an animated monster and might try to eat you. A phobia more commonly experienced by children.

Piranhas in the Toilet Phobia - The fear that piranhas or aligators might somehow come up the pipes and attack you.

Toilet Seat Up Phobia - The fear of falling in the toilet because someone left the seat up and then getting stuck in there permanently.

Oh Oh No Toilet Paper Phobia - The fear of running out of toilet paper when you need it most.

Escorts and Sex Workers at Work

Note

I admit I am probably not the best person to be discussing this topic. I don't even go to strip clubs and the last time I went to a bachelor party and some of the guys decided they wanted to go to a strip club, I hastily decided to go home early because I had zero interest in watching what goes on inside a strip club.

I also recall refraining from drinking any Screech during that particular bachelor party, not because I have any aversion to alcohol, but simply because I don't like Screech and prefer other forms of alcoholic beverages.

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There are two kinds of sex workers out there. And I don't mean male or female, although there is certainly that too, and I shall cover that topic further below.

What I am speaking of is the difference between $80 per hour prostitutes and $200+ per hour escorts.

Prostitutes are often the result of "white slavery" and the pimping of women, often for the benefit of men who are running the show and taking the profits. It is an industry fraught with abuse, drug addiction, human trafficking, and emotionally damaged women.

Escorts in contrast often work for themselves (or for an escort agency). Some of them are also dominatrixes - the beauty of which means they often don't even engage in sex, but rather in BDSM torment of willing male slaves who just love having their nipples twisted and getting spanked by a woman wearing tight black leather.

Escorts often make between $200 and $500 per hour, depending on the city, their niche speciality, how classy their looks are - the classier they look the more they make.

Plus Escorts are often in the business not because they are being forced to - but because they chose to make a living this way and have become accustomed to the perks of having a job that pays hundreds of dollars per hour.

Of course not everyone is cut out to be a high-class escort. They are basically a special breed of women - intelligent, sexually liberated, often poly-amorous, and very beautiful. They make up a very tiny percentage of the population as most women simply don't have that combination of looks, brains and street smarts.

Street smarts is a very important topic when it comes to Escorts. After all, depending on state, province or country prostitution is illegal. In Canada for example, prostitution is NOT illegal, but pimping and solicitation is illegal. Basically what that means is that women can be prostitutes - but they're not allowed to advertise it openly and men aren't allowed to pimp them and exploit them sexually.

In addition to being private entrepreneurs, the thing about Escorts is that they aren't necessarily paid to have sex - although for a price, they can do that - but rather they are often just paid as eye candy to be a wealthy man's plus one for social engagements. Which puts them in a legal grey area because they're more like models then - meant to be seen in public as an advertisement more than anything else.

There is also "happy ending massage parlours" and similar places. They're basically brothels, but often offering services like Nuru gel massages, erotic massage, and so forth. I recall first seeing such places when I was living in South Korea where they were sometimes called "Love Baongs"... Not to be confused with "Love Hotels" which were basically kinky hotel rooms for couples (either married, not married, or people who were cheating on their spouses) which rented rooms by the hour.

From a feminist perspective you also have to think of terms of who is in charge here - the Escort evidently is controlling the situation - or in the case of a Dominatrix, controlling it more so in the extreme. We can all certainly agree that if a woman is being forced into a situation where she is being exploited that that is both morally wrong and illegal - but if the woman is doing this of her own free will, without any coercion whatsoever, and is either working for herself or for a women owned escort agency, then that is certainly her choice.

We may not agree with it, but if its her choice and her free will, who are we to say she can't do what she wants to do?

The smart escorts of course are probably saving up their money and thinking of the future when their looks will no longer be enough. There has been quite a few who no doubt used their earnings to pay for their university bills / college education.

Which if anything is a scathing condemnation of the high costs of university tuition if women feel compelled to become escorts so they can pay for their university tuition. Something which is basically the result of cheapskate politicians who cut back on funding for post-secondary education.

I also think it is funny that being a pornstar is legal in the USA, but being a prostitute is not - even though they're both getting paid to have sex.

Which begs another question - Are gigolos (male escorts) illegal in the USA? Male prostitutes (usually performing sex with other men) are known by a variety of euphemisms including male escorts, gigolos, rent-boys, hustlers, models or masseurs.

Such men typically work in a male brothel known as a "Stable" - or gay bathhouses, adult bookstores, or adult "sex clubs".

Internationally there is a lot of slang terms used to describe such male prostitutes, including:

• Manshora ("male whore") - Sweden
• Hímringyó (meaning "male whore") - Hungary
• Rando - Nepali
• Randwa - India
• Taxi boy - Argentina; Chile
• Escort - Chile and many other countries
• Schandknaap - Netherlands (a passive homosexual partner)
• Pinguero, jinetero - Cuba
• Cachero, puto, prostituto - Ecuador
• Prostituto, puto, garoto de programa (meaning "program boy"), michê, michet, gigolô - Brazil
• Flete, gigolo or gigolón - Peru
• Prostituto (for comparison, the word used for female prostitutes is prostituta) - Portugal
• Jigolo, tokmakçı - Turkey
• Chichifo (pl. chichifos), puto, prostituto, chacal, mayate - Mexico
• Callboy - Germany; Philippines
• Sholbam - Philippines
• Boys - Tunisia
• Masajista, puto - Colombia
• Stricher (usually more derogatory term compared to callboy) - Germany
• 男娼 (Nanchang) or 男妓 (Nanji), in Chinese. Informally, 鸭子 → yāzǐ (meaning "duck") - Mainland China; 鴨/ money boy, ngaap2 (meaning "duck") - Hong Kong
• Gigolò, puttano, marchettaro - Italy
• Chapero, prostituto, puto, gigolo - Spain
• Tapin - France; gigolo - France, Germany and many other countries; escorte - France and Quebec
• Trækkerdreng (meaning "boy that walks the streets") - Denmark
• Жиголо → zhygolo - Ukraine
• Жиголо → zhigolo - Bulgaria and Russia
• Жиголо → žigolo - Serbia and Macedonia
• Ζιγκολό → zigolo - Greece
• 男娼 → danshō　売り専/ウリ専 → urisen (lit. "exclusively sold") - Japan
• sشرموط → sharmūṭ - Arabic
• Zhigolo - Albania
• Żigolo, żigolak; męska dziwka (meaning "male bitch"); męska kurwa (meaning "male whore", usually derogatory) - Poland
• 남창(男娼) → namchang (meaning "male prostitute") - South Korea
• Sanky panky; bugarrón - Dominican Republic
• Escorta; puto - Puerto Rico
• Rattopoika (meaning "pastime boy") - Finland
• Trai bao ("covered boy"); trai gọi ("call boy") - Vietnam
• Anak ikan; moneyboy; pendangboy - Malaysia
• Rent boy - United Kingdom
• זונה → Zoneh → Israel
• Gandu - Pakistan
• Mindagadu - Telugu language, Andhra, India
• Gigolo; Kucing (meaning "cat") - Indonesia
• Žigolo - Lithuania, Croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina

What can I say? Its simply such a risque topic.

I should also note the gigolos who work solely for women are not unheard of - but they are extremely rare as most women are not willing to pay for sex.

Indeed I would hazard a guess that it is quite the opposite. Women would be more likely to engage in a Friends With Benefits Relationship rather than pay for sex.

However I think I should point out that FWB is so rare (possibly rarer than sex workers) that while many men and women dream of having such a relationship, they never achieve it because its considered to be very complicated on an emotional level. It is comparatively less complicated emotionally to just accept money for sex because the expectation then is that you will never see the person again.

Much like an one night stand. Which might explain why that happens so often too - because sometimes people just want the sex and then don't want to see the other person ever again.

Sometimes women also use men for sex. I know this because it has happened to me. (I didn't get paid however.)

Back in 2012 I was dating a young Chinese woman and when she and I broke up she explained it was because her parents would never approve of her dating a white man and that she had only been using me for sex - because apparently Caucasiaphilia is just one of those things some Asian women have.

Which begs the question - Would it be possible for a white man to make a living in a large Asian city as a gigolo for women? Tokyo or Beijing for example?

Female escorts from Russia are quite popular in Asia - and comparatively well-paid. Its the same for French or Russian escorts operating in North American cities. Anyone who is exotic gets paid a lot more.

eg. If you go to Alberta, Canada, the highest paid escorts are not white women - its black women / ebony ecorts because they are more rare and exotic in Alberta. In contrast ebony escorts in Toronto are comparatively on par with Caucasian women and Asian women prices wise - but if the escort also speaks French or has a French accent, watch their prices skyrocket.

So would a male French gigolo do well in Asia? Difficult to say.

I imagine he would eventually start to lose his good looks - and if he didn't use his brains to save up a nest egg then I guess he would eventually run low on funds and have to find a different line of work.

It is the same with all sex workers - they either get out of the business while they still can (and hopefully have saved some of their earnings) - or they fall into hard times.

I think that is why I am favour of the new trend towards Escorts. Because they are so well-paid comparatively is a mark towards the gradual evolution of the industry towards something where female and male sex workers are treated more fairly... complete with pensions, dental and benefits.

Could you imagine if it eventually reached a point where sex workers were unionized and could go on strike for more benefits, better pay and better pensions?

It sounds like a science-fiction novel of a distopian future. Although to be fair, we already have a distopia - and compared to the 1950s we are the future. They probably never imagined the kind of social changes that would happen over the past 60 years.

Eventually at some point in the future someone is going to invent a Sex Robot... at which point we will see one or two things happen... Either the sex robots will be so good that the sex workers industry basically disappears entirely...

Or the sex robots will be only so good and people will crave something that has emotions and intelligence. In which case we may see a revival in what we refer to as "Courtesans" - women who were both available sexually, but valued both for their looks and their intelligence.

In Japan such women were known as Oiran, Geishas, Tayu and so forth and were considered to be more like "Entertainers" than anything else... and it was most certainly a business.

Idiots and Bigots at Work

Ever has an email argument with an idiotic bigot?

You know what I mean. The kind of uneducated right-wing bigot who is most likely a Nazi sympathizer.

Eg. Yesterday I had an argument with an American bigot who was complaining about Canada's laws prohibiting the publication of hate literature. Why? Because he apparently thinks racist writings are a good thing - as if you can't find lots of that online anyway.

I chalk that up to America's problems with the KKK - which despite being labeled an illegal terrorist group continue to pubish and distribute their beliefs freely.

Could you imagine if an Al-Qaeda sympathizer had been spreading hate literature in the USA after 9/11? That would have been a guaranteed arrest and thrown in Guantanamo.

But since the KKK is seen more as a bunch of idiot rednecks with the combined IQ of Sarah Palin the end result is that most people don't take them seriously. They're too much of a joke.

So terrorist group schmerrorist schmoup.

Its amazing the FBI / CIA / Homeland Security has never launched a large scale plan to arrest all the KKK leaders.

Or maybe not. They are after all, pretty ridiculous. The leader of the KKK uses the title "Grand Wizard". Which is to say that they use a title so nerdy that they sound like a bunch of LARPers...

Live Action RolePlayers. They dress up in costumes and play with padded swords.

So knowing that its very difficult to take them seriously.

Which is exactly what you should do the next time you get in an argument with an idiotic bigot - laugh at them.

And then block their email address so you don't waste any more time on morons.

Interesting Point - If you compare IQ testing scores for state by state averages, the states with the lowest IQ scores are also the states which spend the lowest amount of money on education - and they're home to the most rednecks. Proof that low education = ignorant idiots.

Male P*rnstars + Penis Enlargement Surgery

Someone has pointed out to me that I have numerous posts which bring up the topic of breast implants, but I have zero posts which talk about Penis Enlargement Surgery.

To be specific three posts come to mind:

1. The Male Brain at Work: Breast Implants at Work

2. The Male Brain at Work: Triple K Breast Implants at Work

3. The Male Brain at Work: Cleavage at Work

 So yes, I admit we have discussed that quite a bit and have devoted zero attention to the topic of Penis Enlargement Surgery.

Until now!

According to my research this type of surgery is really popular in several places:

#1. Hollywood (mostly p*rnstars who want to be bigger, but also celebrities who are insecure about their size)

#2. United States (although I think this more about having more access to this type of surgery)

#3. China and India (super embarrassing for the men over there I guess)

#4. Germany (also known for its p*rn industry)

The average penis length (according to a 1996 study) is:

• unstretched, flaccid length 8.8cm (3.9 inches)
• stretched (pulled firmly out from the body), flaccid length 12.4cm (4.8 inches).
• erect penis, measured in the same way as above, is 12.9cm (5.2 inches).

Note: Some places that do provide Penis Enlargement Surgery apparently have a minimum "shortness requirement" of less than 3 inches when erect. They apparently feel it is unethical to operate on anyone who is already longer than that.

Of course that doesn't stop Hollywood or the p*rn industry. They just shop around and find a surgeon who will do it anyway.

Its estimated that roughly half of all male p*rnstars in the USA have had Penis Enlargement Surgery.

So if you're a man and you've been watching too much p*rn and feeling inadequate, then don't! That stuff you are watching is more fake than Pamela Anderson's breasts during the 1990s.

So lets pretend for a moment that you were a man who had an erect penis of only 3 inches. Honestly, you probably can't even get women to stick with you once they find out how small you are in bed. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad for the people who go through the whole dating process only to have their love interest dump them because "Your penis is too small!"

Okay, so following that assumption, how much does Penis Enlargement Surgery actually cost?

Answer - About $4,500 appears to be the average cost. It ranges between $4,000 and $5,000 for a lengthening surgery. (You can also have a girth enhancement for $2,000 and a skin graft done for another $5,000. Three surgeries totaling about $12,000 if you want to go all out.)

And while we are at, how much of an increase is actually possible?

Answer - 1/2 an inch to up to 2 inches, varies on the person.

Ogawd... Imagine the poor guy with a 2 inch penis who goes through the surgery, pays $5,000, and it only increases his length by 1/2 an inch?

I am sorry, but that is really funny (and sad). I am sorry I am not treating this with more sensitivity, but I honestly think that is really laughable.

Its not funny if Mr Shorty commits suicide afterwards, I admit, but I must admit as a somewhat macho guy I've been raised in a culture that makes fun of men with really short penises - and treats such things as inherently funny.

And I not alone. In South Korea they have parks filled with giant erect penis statues. I've included photos below.

I think the point I am trying to make here is that size does matter to men. Men want to be either average or above average. If they are less than average... or worse, pathetically small, then its just embarrassing for them.

And note also that men don't seem to care how beautiful their penis is. Size is pretty much all they care about. As if having a "big and beautiful penis" isn't something that women would desire. Goes nicely with "tall, dark and handsome".

Men are Typically Predictable

 The following is a list of 10 things that men ALWAYS do when it comes to women*...

#1. If a man sees a topless woman he is guaranteed to smile. Even the men who publicly say ill of women walking around topless will secretly thinking "Huzzah for Women's Lib!"

#2. A man will always think that given time and a deserted island a woman will fall to his charms. Its just a matter of time in his mind. (Although getting lots of exercise, hunting, eating more fruits, veggies and berries probably will improve his chances along the way.)

#3. If a man looks at a woman his first thought is "Can I have sex with this person?" If she is unattractive in theory his level of respect for her rights just went up a notch because the average man will treat an unattractive woman with more respect than he would an attractive woman. Notice I said "the average man". That does not mean ALL men do that, but they do all immediately think "Can I have sex with this person?"
 

#4. A man presented with an opportunity to be a pig and isn't going to get caught or punished will at least think about doing it even if he doesn't act on it. Its the men who actually act on it who are the true sexist pigs, not the men who just happen to think it.

#5. Men will always assume that the woman has a sense of humour and will find their antics funny and charming.

#6. A man will always be vaguely surprised when the woman doesn't find his antics funny and charming. He's been operating under the assumption that he is charming and adorable all these years... and despite evidence to the contrary, will continue to believe that.

#7. A man on a bicycle will always try to race a woman in an effort to prove how fast he is. Its an ego thing.

#8. Place a woman in a room full of men and they will either start swearing less or more. Less if they are trying to be more polite in her presence, more if they are trying to impress her with macho swearing.

#9. If a woman asks a man to fix something he will at least think about attempting it. Even if the man has no formal training in how to fix something (eg. like a bicycle mechanic) the man will always assume that he can figure it out on his own without anyone's help or following the instruction manual.

#10. A man will always assume that he is stronger than he really is. Even if he is not into weightlifting he will still try to lift something just to see if he can. Men will always think that women are impressed by this, even if they fail to lift it.

* Assuming they are heterosexual. I cannot speak for homosexual men. I have no idea what they are thinking with respect to women.

The Perfect Male Body at Work

I've been meaning to write this particular blog post for awhile.

Partially because I have a strong interest in exercise and being fit, but also because its interesting in terms of what people actually consider attractive... And lastly because one of my previous blog posts, The Perfect Female Body at Work, is the most popular blog post on this site.

So in the interest of doing the reverse of that post I decided I should research the topic of the Perfect Male Body... and just see what scientists and experts on the topic have to say.

On the right is a photo of male fashion model Marcus Schenkenberg. Widely regarded to be one of the most attractive men in the last century - beating out people like Sean Connery, Burt Reynolds and even Tom Selleck.

According to one poll I came across in my research Tom Selleck in his younger years, when he was Magnum PI, was ranked by women as the most attractive male actor. Suck on that Sean Connery.

Symmetry

First, according to an article in Psychology Today women seek out relationships with handsome men for their genes - and handsomeness is largely determined by symmetry. Symmetry is effected by having a healthful body and thus the level of a man's health correlates directly to his physical attractiveness.

Symmetrical physical healthiness form part of the equation for the perfect body for men. Genetic mutations, abnormalities and environmental factors can reduce symmetry in human body development. Symmetry provides an evolutionary symbol for mating. According to another article, this one in Live Science, men with higher degrees of symmetry on the face and body will have more sexual partners than men with lower degrees of symmetry. Even men who are overweight or skinny will be considered more attractive if their face is symmetrical and thus garner them more women.

Above Right - A photo of arm wrestling champion Matthias Schlitte with his one freakishly large arm. He only exercises the one arm... and is an example of what NOT to do if you want to have a symmetrical body.

Getting a symmetrical body is really just a matter of exercising ALL your body parts evenly combined with a healthy diet. Various genetic abnormalities will decrease the level of symmetry, but most of it can be corrected. Even a crooked nose can be partially corrected by doing Nose Exercises.

Upper Body

The perfect body for men features a broad torso. According to several sources physical attractiveness for men also depends on broad shoulders. The human male evolved a broader torso to support larger lung capacity and better distribution of oxygen. This supports running and exercising.

Even today leaders of tribal civilizations tend to have a broad torsos. Likewise women are more attracted to a male body that features broad shoulders and a strong chest with muscular arms, but those factors are not the be all - end all, because again those things should be symmetrical.

Having broad shoulders and a broad chest likely is a visual factor in voting for leaders too, although not for women obviously.

Lower Body

Small, firm buttocks are another feature of the perfect body for men. Sexual intercourse involves thrusting motions that are supported by muscles in a man's upper legs and buttocks and thus a nice muscular butt that is the right shape for thrusting suggests a man who is virile in bed. A Psyduction magazine article suggests that women prefer men with small and firm rear ends because it suggests they are more powerful lovers.

Thus for men wearing a kilt which covers up a shapely butt is a big no-no. If anything men with a nice ass should be making an effort to show off their goods by wearing skin tight clothing. Like the shot of Batman's (Val Kilmer's) butt below from "Batman Forever" which they did as lewd joke within the film while hs is strapping on his armour/costume.

Waist-to-Hip Ratio

The perfect body for men has a waist-to-hip ratio of approx. 0.9. The Royal Society published a study that says that women prefer men who have a torso with an inverted triangle shape. This shape corresponds with a man that has a narrow waist, and a broad chest and shoulders.

Meanwhile a Live Science article says that women prefer men who have a waist-to-hip ratio between 0.8 and 1.0. The article notes that men within this range are less susceptible to certain diseases, such as cardiovascular and blood sugar problems or cancer - whereas men who are overweight and have large bellies / asses are more likely to have health problems. The Royal Society study states that this ratio is related to the distribution of fat between the upper and lower body and obesity correlates with higher waist-to-hip ratios.

Men with pot bellies thus just aren't sexy. Pot bellies are due to malnutrition (too much sugar and carbs) and are a sign of someone who just doesn't eat properly. So again, that is something that can be fixed through exercise and healthy eating.

Volume Height Index / BMI

The perfect body for men also has a volume height index that corresponds with higher levels of health. The volume height index is a man's volume divided by the square of his height. According to various sources the volume height index is the best indicator of male attractiveness and that the volume height index is a more reliable measure of male attractiveness than the waist-to-hip ratio. Whether this is true or not is questionable.

All volume height index is really just a different way of calculating BMI (Body Mass Index), a tool typically used for measuring whether people are obese, overweight, healthy or anorexic.

Except under the VHI system, anorexic men would be considered attractive, which we know is not true. Therefore I don't think the VHI system is reliable. A better system is BMI, wherein the healthy middle ground for BMI is the obvious choice for attractiveness.

Hair

According to my research most women prefer men with lots of hair - a la Burt Reynolds.

According to sources the reason is because lots of healthy looking hair is a sign of virility. Men with lots of chest hair / etc = a sexy beast in the sack, which will produce similarly healthy babies.

In contrast baldness or lack of hair suggests a deformity or genetic inferiority. However this isn't true for all women however. Some women prefer men who are bald, as per Sean Connery or Bruce Willis.

But for the vast majority of women body hair is considered to be an attractive feature.

So what do women like best?

According to a poll done in the London Sunday Times here is a list of 11 attributes British men imagine women admire most about them.

Muscular Chest and Shoulders 21%
Muscular Arms 18%
Penis 15%
Tallness 13%
Flat Stomach 9%
Slimness 7%
Hair 4%
Buttocks 4%
Eyes 4%
Long Legs 3%
Neck 2%

And here is the real results of what physical attributes British women found most attractive:

Buttocks (described as "small and sexy") 39%
Slimness 15%
Flat Stomach 13%
Eyes 11%
Long Legs 6%
Tallness 5%
Hair 5%
Neck 3%
Penis 2%
Muscular Chest and Shoulders 1%
Muscular Arms 0%

So evidently what men think is attractive vs what women really want are two worlds apart. The buttocks are, according to the poll of women, 19.5 times more important than the penis for example.

CONCLUSIONS

What women really want, and consider perfect, is a tall man with long legs who is slim, has nice abs, nice eyes and hair, a nicely shaped neck and penis (WTF is with the neck stats???) and if he is muscular that is a nice bonus. Basically a man who is fit and has a nice butt and abs.

So how does a man get a nice butt and abs?

Cardio exercises. Lots of cardio. Plus sit ups once you've lost the necessary weight. Doing ab exercises won't do anything if its under a layer of fat except make your stomach bulge out more. You have to lose the weight via cardio first, then start focusing on ab exercises and core strengthening exercises. Weightlifting will help a bit, but its better to target the core muscles (abs, obliques and back muscles) first.

You can't do much about the genetic factors of long legs and tallness. You are what you are. But exercising to look better certainly helps. This poll now shows why Marcus Schenkenberg and Tom Selleck rank so high. They are both tall, slim, nice abs / butt, good eyes, hair, and I am guessing neck too.

Why would women find a man's neck so important? I am guessing it is due to symmetry.

Archery Chicks at Work

Seriously.

What is it with films depicting women as archers?

And I don't just mean the Hunger Games. I also mean films like

Princess of Thieves (starring Keira Knightley with a bow)

King Arthur (starring Keira Knightley with a bow, again)

Your Highness (starring Natalie Portman with a bow)

Brave (animated, so that doesn't really count)

Blade Trinity (starring Jessica Biel with a bow)

Chronicles of Narnia (starring Anne Popplewell with a bow)

And the list keeps going. It isn't limited to Hollywood films either. A lot of Japanese anime also features female archers. Inuyasha's Kagome and Kikyo both use a bow.

It really is a huge stereotype of female archers in films. Sure, I admit, I would rather watch a female shooting arrows than a male... just a preference of beauty... But I am a tad annoyed at the constant stereotype that if a female is in a war-like scenario she goes for the bow over the sword or axe.

I think its because, perhaps, a bit of a judgmental thing on the part of the writers in Hollywood. They don't think women can swing a sword or an axe. Totally ignoring the chick with the axe in Dragonheart... or any movie containing Joan of Arc.

Thus it is well-established that women are perfectly capable of swinging a sword or axe. But Hollywood writers apparently don't like having women in the thick of melee combat and instead often have them as "supporting cast" wielding bows instead.

Now I am not saying Hollywood should stop making films with females who are archers. Absolutely not! Keep doing that... but try to mix it up with some more variety.

How about spears? Javelins? Tridents? Blowdarts? Crossbows? Throwing Axes? Good ol' fashioned throwing knives?

And since Hollywood is currently on an archery kick, would you please make something about the life of Awa Kenzo? Yes, technically it would be a drama - not much action in the life of a zen archery master. But make it anyway because his life is actually a very interesting story.

Except I don't think Hollywood would ever make such a film. It would really only be Japanese filmmakers who would think to make that.

Frigusphilia

Frigusphilia is a fetish whereby you enjoy having sex in cold showers, having sex in the snow, that sort of thing.

Having sex in a cold shower actually comes with a long list of health benefits. It burns calories, boosts the immune system, stimulates muscle growth and testosterone levels in men, increases sperm count, boosts metabolism and energy levels and a whole bunch of side benefits for your health.

See a list of the health benefits by reading the article Cold Showers Burns Calories.

The thing is when you consider all the health benefits, especially for men, I am surprised married couples aren't having cold showers together more often.

Just the hormone / testosterone boost alone helps to boost muscle growth, which means every man looking to build muscle should be standing in line to take a cold shower.

Let alone have sex in a cold shower! If you've ever done that then you know it feels absolutely amazing. After awhile you don't even notice the cold water, it just feels refreshingly cold.

And while we are at it having sex also boosts your immune system, metabolism, and so forth, thus having sex in a cold shower should be a health boost double whammy.

And seriously, do you really need more encouragement to have sex?

Also discovered something interesting... Hot baths apparently work as a contraceptive. It lowers a man's fertility to the point that if a man takes a 30 minute hot bath every day for 3 weeks his sperm count drops to almost zero. The heat from the hot baths kills sperm. Takes about 3 weeks to wear off too, so if you want to increase your sperm count and make babies its time to start having cold showers.

So yeah... Frigusphilia. Its a good thing!