5 Ways to increase your chances of getting Laid on a First Date

#1. Clean yourself up and dress masculine and sophisticated.

Three reasons why this improves your odds. Women like men who take care of themselves physically, they should be clean and well groomed. Secondly, women like men who know how to dress themselves - so wearing sophisticated and manly clothing improves your odds dramatically.

So for example just wearing a manly yet sophisticated jacket from Kish Wear - Men's High Fashion, dramatically improves your odds your date will like you.

The problem is that most men tend to dress like slobs, and that does not impress women very much. At the same time however you don't want to come across as emasculated - what you want really is to give the impression with your clothes that you are like a rugged James Bond type who can fist fight a bear and then go dancing all in the same night.

#2. Only go out on dates on Friday night or Saturday night.

Honestly, timing is everything. Women work just like men do, and they don't want to spend the night at a man's place when they have to get up the next morning and work. That would mean showing up at work possibly late, in the wrong clothes, and all sorts of problems. Thus dates on Sunday nights to Thursday nights have a dramatically lower rate of people getting laid. Also, never meet for coffee in the morning or afternoon. Coffee dates are for suckers. Women use coffee dates to browse for men. They are significantly less likely to sleep with someone when they are just browsing.

Avoiding eye contact on a date is a great way to NOT get laid.

#3. Look into her eyes when you talk to her.

This is really important. Do not avoid eye contact when talking, as some men do when they feel uncomfortable. Instead what you need to do is every time you are talking to your date then give them your full attention by looking deep into their eyes when you are talking to them. Try to repeat that when they are talking to you too.

Don't stare at her breasts (although you can sneak a peek briefly), don't check the time on your phone, don't use your cellphone when bored unless she goes to the bathroom (in which case turn it off when she comes back), don't stare at a TV or other women. The only person who should be the centre of your attention is her.

#4. In conversation avoid anything controversial or trivial arguments.

Don't talk about abortion (she may have had one), evolution vs creationism, politics, religion, etc. Instead stick to entertaining topics. If sports come up talk about them briefly, but don't go into great detail about your favourite sport unless she is also very interested in that sport. And even so, know when to stop. If she looks at her watch it is time to switch topics. When it comes to pop culture don't get involved in trivial arguments and then check who is correct on your cellphone. It makes you appear to be the type of person who always has to be right - and arguing about something trivial on a first date is not a good sign.

#5. Clean your apartment / house as if your mother is coming over.

Nothing messes with your feng shui than having a huge mess in the place. You are not going to want to invite a woman over when your place looks like a giant laundry basket of dirty clothes. All your clothing should be in the closet, or neatly piled in a proper laundry basket (or stowed in a laundry bag). The floor should be clean, there should be less than 3 dishes in your sink or the sink should be empty. Your entire apartment / house should be spotless, as if your Great Aunt Ida is coming for a visit soon and she smacks you with her cane if the place isn't perfectly clean.

Furthermore the only things left out, clutter wise, should be your musical instrument, painting, woodworking project, architectural designs, poetry notebook or something creative which you have left on the coffee table. This gives you something to talk about. If you don't do any activities like that your next best option is a coffee table book about traveling overseas. (Because like your Great Aunt Ida, women appreciate a man who is creative / likes to travel abroad. She may be a stickler for cleanliness, but Aunt Ida loves to talk about all the trips she went on when she was younger.)

The same rule above also applies to your car or vehicle. It should be clean, spotless and the only piece of clutter should be a book / map of an area you want to drive to sometime (eg. Ontario's wine region in Niagara).

NOTES

These are just 5 tips that increase your chances of getting laid. They are not a guarantee. You could still mess up by insulting her in some unforeseen way. Or she could turn out to be a headcase / damaged goods, in which case you are better off without her. (Far too many women out there have developed some weird psychological hangups that make them unable to have long term relationships. If you sleep with such a person they might end up stalking you, treating you like dirt, messing your mind, any number of things. You are better off avoiding headcases as they need professional treatment before they can even stand a chance of having a long term relationship.)

Getting laid on a first date is actually a good signifier that your relationship will last a longer period of time and lead to a lasting relationship (possibly even marriage) - at least when it comes to modern women. Conservative / religious women expect to be wooed a lot longer before the courtship reaches the bedroom.

As such it is best to avoid women who are not your counterpart in terms of belief system. Atheists probably should not be dating Christians and vice versa. Muslims and Christians dating, not such a big deal because Jesus is a prophet in Islam. Before meeting women for dates (assuming you met them via online personals) screen out any who are potentially problematic because of their religion. Women who describe themselves as spiritual are okay (and often free spirits sexually), but Roman Catholics or Russian Orthodox might have some antiquated ideas about marriage before sex. (Which is funny, because people who don't have sex before marriage are more likely to have a divorce.)

Now I am not saying you cannot date women who are of a different belief system than yourself. Go right ahead. Just understand that it is not going to be easier when it comes to trying to make the relationship last more then 2 months.

Pickup Lines for Women to use on Men

Some of these are a bit disturbing, others are just funny - the images were produced by Cosmo - and what they are promoting is pickup lines for women to use on men.

I personally find that pickup lines men use to be quite lewd and rude, so how are these any better? Is Cosmo trying to say that using these lines are acceptable just because it is a woman saying them? I don't think so. I think any pick up line that "crosses the line" in terms of rudeness should get a man slapped across the face.

And what standard is this setting for women? Sexual aggressiveness is fine and all, but what about how men will respond to such questions of sexual availability? Some men will no doubt take it too far.

Call me old fashioned, but a little romance is always better that a cheesy pickup line.

Are Men Being Pressured to Accept Realistic Standards of Female Beauty?

This was originally posted in The Onion (which is a satirical news website), but it raises an interesting question about whether men are actually being pressured to accept realistic standards of female beauty.

'Confronted on a regular basis with images of women who represent a diverse array of body types, a growing number of American men are reportedly feeling pressured to accept the increasingly realistic standards of female beauty now depicted in the media, social scientists confirmed this week.

“More and more, men today find themselves bombarded with un-retouched images, and with that comes the considerable mental burden of trying to reconcile what they see in these ads and magazines with their personal perceptions of beauty,” said sociologist Cliff Hillard, who studies attainable ideals of female attractiveness in the media and how they can create an overly realistic sense of what women ought to look like. “For most men, it’s very discouraging. Instead of seeing only rail-thin models, they’re now exposed to accurate representations of women whose proportions mimic those of actual human females.”

“Think about the average man flipping through a magazine that features pictures of women who haven’t had their cheekbones raised or their noses reshaped with Photoshop,” Hillard continued. “How is he supposed to feel when he sees something like that?”

Every day, according to Hillard, men are faced with “inescapable” displays of average-sized women, women who are representatively diverse in terms of race and ethnicity, and women who are not professional models. According to one recent study, the average man sees photographs of women without digitally exaggerated bust-to-waist ratios dozens of times per day on TV, billboards, and the sides of buses, which the findings suggest has a demoralizing effect on the male psyche and has been shown to negatively influence men’s self-esteem and mood the more often they view such images.

Hillard noted that major companies like Dove, H&M, and Ralph Lauren now use nontraditional models in their advertising campaigns, an increasingly popular trend that, according to the sociologists’ research, ultimately serves to make men feel upset and frustrated when the women in commercials don’t live up to their own personal fantasies.

“Nowadays I can’t even leave the house without seeing an ad featuring properly proportioned women of statistically normal weights,” said San Diego–based civil engineer Spencer DeLane, adding that some of the models’ bodies are “startlingly average.” “Sometimes I don’t even want to go online or turn on the television because I know I’ll see a regular, healthy-looking woman. Don’t these advertisers understand how deeply depressing that is for me?”

“It’s not fair to me, and it’s not fair to other men like me,” he continued. “Having to live with society’s expectations that I accept women just the way they are takes an enormous toll.”

In a recent USA Today poll, 87 percent of men said that in the past month they’d seen an ad that made them feel inadequate by challenging their conceptions of physical beauty. Within that group, 74 percent said they’d seen a model posing without makeup and 83 said they’d seen visible blemishes, with a further 62 percent reporting that they’d seen a model with slight wrinkles around her eyes that “could very easily have been digitally or surgically removed.”

Armed with mounting evidence that men can feel crushed under the heavy mental strain to appreciate all types of women, Hillard questioned the costs of depicting them in a sensible way that reflects their natural physical variance.

“Here you’ve got a generation of boys who will grow up looking at women in the media and seeing flaws here, flaws there, flaws everywhere—what are they supposed to think?” said Hillard, who noted that his 12-year-old son is just now beginning to objectify women and that such portrayals could grossly alter what he perceives as an idealized female form for the rest of his life. “That’s why it’s more important than ever to empower men so they can teach themselves to ignore these ads and images.”

“We men simply need to have conviction in our own ideas of what makes a woman beautiful,” he added.'

To me this comes back to age old adage:

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

Some men prefer women who are well endowed with larger hips, larger breasts, and so forth - while some men prefer skinny women. Rarely are women both skinny and well-endowed.

"The Vitruvian Woman" varies wildly from man to man, although the accepted norm (according to psychologists) is a breast to waist to hip ratio of 3-2-3, such as 36-24-36 or 32-21-32 or similar ratios.

Even women have an idealized ratio for men, of what they consider attractive, which is approximately a chest-waist-hip ratio of 10-7-9. Large chest, slim waist, nice buttocks.

Fred Vs Martha - What are they thinking?

Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?"

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: ...so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means...lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.

And Martha is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed - even before I sensed it - that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.

And Martha is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty...scumballs.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their...

"Fred," Martha says aloud.

"What?" says Fred, startled.

"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have...oh dear, I feel so..."(She breaks down, sobbing.)

"What?" says Fred.

"I'm such a fool," Martha sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."

"There's no horse?" says Fred.

"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Martha says.

"No!" says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

"It's just that...it's that I...I need some time," Martha says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

"Yes," he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

"Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?" she says.

"What way?" says Fred.

"That way about time," says Martha.

"Oh," says Fred. "Yes." (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

"Thank you, Fred," she says.

"Thank you," says Fred.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a college basketball game between two South Dakota junior colleges that he has never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.

The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Fred, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Martha ever own a horse?"

And for fun, below is another example of how men and women think differently.