The Wulfric the Wanderer Series

The Wulfric the Wanderer Series
A Sword & Sorcery Series written by Charles Moffat

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Cleavage at Work

SEX - There's something about breast cleavage that just makes a man's brain turn to mush.

We know men can't concentrate when faced with cleavage. See Science proves that bikinis turn men into idiots.

There was a time (supposedly centuries ago) that the mere sight of a woman's ankles would send men drooling after her lustfully. I can't imagine such a thing myself, because being more of a Russ Meyer fan, I've always appreciated breasts. Ankles? I cannot imagine what men could drool over ankles.

 

At the same time however there are men out there who simply don't like breasts. And no, we're not talking about homosexuality. No, I am talking about straight men, for whatever reason prefer a different part of the woman's body... ass, legs, lips, hips, hair, feet, whatever.

Some of those, like feet for example, are really more of a fetish than anything else.

There are certain female body parts however that it makes sense that men are naturally attracted to. Lets take the buttocks for example, or more specifically the cleavage between the ass cheeks. There's a remarkable similarity between that and breast cleavage, suggesting that men are attracted to... cleavage.

Furthermore, the cleavage men are most attracted to seems to be curvy, luscious and voluptuous.

Other hot-ticket female body parts, the hips for example, also are admired for their curves. Women KNOW this attracts men and thus all the money for liposuction and breast implants.


Then there's the celebrities.

Name a female celebrity who doesn't regularly flash her cleavage at the public? Pamela Anderson, Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Salma Hayek, Angelina Jolie, Julia Roberts... even the older actresses like Judi Dench or Bette Midler flash their cleavage at the cameras.

And its a smart move on their part. Keeping the public's attention on them promotes their careers, and the more news buzz they receive in the gossip column the more they can demand when they take acting roles.

Such things don't go over well with the religious crowd however. Nothing offends the religious wackos more than homosexuality, nakedness and anything remotely blasphemous (like Harry Potter or The Golden Compass).

Which is silly when you consider the male attraction to breasts is really natural. If you are religious, it makes sense that God made breasts for a reason, and made men attracted to breasts for a reason (to make us want women and propagate the species).

 

 And even if you're not religious, it also makes sense that men are attracted to breasts as a way of encouraging the propagation of the species, by making sex and making babies attractive. But religious folks argue that breasts and the enjoyment of sex is the devil's work... bla bla bla.

Nonsense.

Where in the Bible does it say sex is a sin or that sex is somehow a bad thing? The Bible makes very few statements about sex, but here is an abbreviated version:

THE TEN SEX COMMANDMENTS OF THE BIBLE

1. Thou shalt not have homosexual sex.

 2. Thou shalt not have sex with animals.

3. Thou shalt not have sex with your sister, your mother or any other relative.

 4. Thou shalt not spread your seed on the ground (aka masturbate).

5. Thou shalt have one wife and one wife only.

6. Thou shalt not commit adultery.

7. Thou shalt stone to death adulterers.

8. Thou shalt stone to death rapists.

 9. Thou shalt stone to death homosexuals.

10. Thou shalt stone to death people who have sex with animals. NOTE: The Bible says nothing about abortion.

   

So there's nothing wrong with ogling breasts technically. Its perfectly natural for men to do. But it is rude.

So if you are going to look at cleavage in public (or wherever) try not to make it too obvious. Unless you're in a strip club I suppose... but at that point you'd be looking at a lot more than just cleavage.

For the ladies, you know by now that men just plain ogle whatever happens to come into their field of vision that excites them. We men assume that women ogle men from time to time (why else would old women be buying so many firefighter calendars?)... the point is women have a right to be upset what a man is ogling your breasts too much (or worse, your boyfriend ogling someone else's...).

 So how much is too much?

That varies.

I follow the five second rule.

Anything longer than that and you're staring.

SPECIAL NOTE: If a female is wearing revealing clothing to work, I have to say that is extremely distracting. I've even been tempted to make a complaint to a manager about a co-worker who was showing a little too much cleavage.

So PLEASE, don't show lots of cleavage in a professional workplace.

 See Also:
Breast Implants at Work
Female Bodybuilders at Work
Breast Implants for Dummies
Open-Cup Bras
The History of the Corset & Brassiere
Shock Absorbing Sports Bras
The Bikini turns 60
History of the Bra & Breasts

3 comments:

Ross said...

I used to work in this place where there was a woman with huge lovely breasts - who worked at the desk opposite me - sometimes she would thrust out her boobs in fullview of me when stretching herself- but i tried to keep my eyes on my work and not to be distracted - i felt embarrassed to oogle - i didnt have a problem with not staring
Ross

Serenity said...

The Bible says that "whosoever looks at a woman lustfully, has already committed adultery in his heart." Which is a sin.

CM said...

Re Jenna D

The same Bible that says we should stone women to death for showing their hair in public and/or dressing immodestly? Maybe you shouldn't base your morality on a book that constantly calls for stoning people to death.

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