The Wulfric the Wanderer Series

The Wulfric the Wanderer Series
A Sword & Sorcery Series written by Charles Moffat

Friday, January 18, 2013

Men are Typically Predictable

 The following is a list of 10 things that men ALWAYS do when it comes to women*...

#1. If a man sees a topless woman he is guaranteed to smile. Even the men who publicly say ill of women walking around topless will secretly thinking "Huzzah for Women's Lib!"

#2. A man will always think that given time and a deserted island a woman will fall to his charms. Its just a matter of time in his mind. (Although getting lots of exercise, hunting, eating more fruits, veggies and berries probably will improve his chances along the way.)

#3. If a man looks at a woman his first thought is "Can I have sex with this person?" If she is unattractive in theory his level of respect for her rights just went up a notch because the average man will treat an unattractive woman with more respect than he would an attractive woman. Notice I said "the average man". That does not mean ALL men do that, but they do all immediately think "Can I have sex with this person?"
 
#4. A man presented with an opportunity to be a pig and isn't going to get caught or punished will at least think about doing it even if he doesn't act on it. Its the men who actually act on it who are the true sexist pigs, not the men who just happen to think it.

#5. Men will always assume that the woman has a sense of humour and will find their antics funny and charming.

#6. A man will always be vaguely surprised when the woman doesn't find his antics funny and charming. He's been operating under the assumption that he is charming and adorable all these years... and despite evidence to the contrary, will continue to believe that.

#7. A man on a bicycle will always try to race a woman in an effort to prove how fast he is. Its an ego thing.

#8. Place a woman in a room full of men and they will either start swearing less or more. Less if they are trying to be more polite in her presence, more if they are trying to impress her with macho swearing.

#9. If a woman asks a man to fix something he will at least think about attempting it. Even if the man has no formal training in how to fix something (eg. like a bicycle mechanic) the man will always assume that he can figure it out on his own without anyone's help or following the instruction manual.

#10. A man will always assume that he is stronger than he really is. Even if he is not into weightlifting he will still try to lift something just to see if he can. Men will always think that women are impressed by this, even if they fail to lift it.

* Assuming they are heterosexual. I cannot speak for homosexual men. I have no idea what they are thinking with respect to women.

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