Typical Guy Mistakes at Work

LOVE / SEX - I was tempted to call this post "Being a Bonehead at Work".

As a guy I, on a regular basis, sometimes make stupid mistakes. Bonehead mistakes. Its not that I am stupid... its just that I wasn't thinking.

For women when men do that they call it something else. Being Inconsiderate, because we didn't think of their feelings when we did something stupid.

Now I want to point out that doing a Typical Guy Mistake happens a lot. We just don't think sometimes and we do something and only afterwards realize we were being a bonehead.

Somewhere out there in the world I can guarantee there is multiple men making a bonehead mistake right now... and at the same time there is a bunch of others who are regretting their action.

Typical Guy Mistakes aren't the result of greed, hatred or malice. Although some of them might be done in the name of laziness and/or efficiency. As guys we have a tendency to think of the most efficient use of our time... so if we can carry 3 boxes up the stairs in one trip instead of making 3 trips, well by golly, we're going to carry all three boxes at once!

And that isn't really laziness because we're doing extra effort to make more efficient use of time. It takes us more energy to carry all three boxes at once.

Now if we drop 1 of the boxes and it contained your great-grandmother's antique heirloom knitting needles and the knitting needles get broken... well, gee, we're sorry. We thought we could do it without too much difficulty and weren't thinking about the danger to your precious heirloom.

And such things just happen.

Another Typical Guy Mistake is when we blurt something out and we're being honest. Nothing wrong with the truth right? Ha, if only.

Another Typical Guy Mistake is when we embarrass you by behaving like a dumb*ss. You roll your eyes in embarrassment and look the other way and later berate us later about how its rude to ask Asian people where they're from and conversing with them in their native language (as someone who speaks Korean, Japanese and Mandarin I've done this a lot, mostly because I use any excuse to hone my language skills and get needed practice).

I think you get the point.

The thing about Typical Guy Mistakes is that we know we were being stupid when we made the mistakes, but we don't think we did anything wrong. This is an important disctinction.

Doing something stupid is a whoops. Sorry. I wasn't thinking.

Doing something wrong means we did something immoral out of greed, hatred, envy, etc.

Thus sometimes men will refuse to apologize for a Typical Guy Mistake because we didn't do anything immoral. We already know we did something stupid, but morality isn't part of equation.

We can apologize for our stupidity, but sometimes if we've done multiple stupid mistakes these things add up and women get annoyed at the sheer number of mistakes. If the woman in our life is the type who keeps bringing up old mistakes this isn't going to help either. At some point in resulting arguments she might even refer to him as "a Complete Bonehead".

Being a Complete Bonehead means you're a guy who makes Typical Guy Mistakes on a regular (perhaps even daily) basis. Watch old episodes of Tim Allen on the "Home Improvement" TV show from the 1990s and you will get to see a Complete Bonehead in action.

I am going to give a personal example. One week before Valentines I was at my girlfriend's place and we discussed me staying the night. It was still early in the relationship and she had mentioned wanting to stay up late sometime talking. I was all for snuggling and chatting. However my interest in doing so was apparently misconstrued as sexual lust and she got scared of the seriousness of the relationship and 4 days later we broke up.

Now... did I do anything immoral? Nope. Was it a stupid mistake for me to want to spend the night and chat? Yes.

Now during the actual break up I did another one. I complained about how she frequently changes her mind, cancels meetings, changes meetings and so forth. Sometimes she can't even make up her mind. (If you've ever dated someone like this you know how annoying and frustrating this is.) I felt she was being inconsiderate and selfish by not taking into account my feelings and schedule and the effort I was putting into doing nice things for her. ie. The one time she was supposed to come over for spicy spaghetti and watch movies, but instead she cancelled and went straight home because she was "too tired" from work.

I was upset and said something stupid. Regardless that its true that she does those things, it was still stupid of me to bring up the topic during the breakup.

But in retrospect she was probably just making Typical Girl Mistakes when she cancelled or changed all those meetings. She wasn't thinking, the same way I wasn't thinking.

She knew I was making the meal for her but it never occurred to her that I was making a huge effort making her a special meal and that I would be upset if she cancelled at the last minute.

Such things just happen.

The only thing we can do is try and practice forgiveness and this works equally well for both sexes.

"Lets just stay friends" at Work

LOVE + SEX - Ever started seeing someone and then they suggest the two of you should stay friends for now and then maybe become lovers later? The concept is that you become friends first and then over time a romantic relationship grows. At a snails' pace, if ever.

Well there is something fundamentally wrong with that idea. Several things when you think about it.

#1. You are leading the other person on with the promise of possible romance later. Essentially you are wasting their time.

#2. You are browsing. Having a look but without making any commitments. If you end up seeing multiple people this way but aren't "together" with any of them you're basically just using all of them and taking advantage of them.

#3. The other person may hold off having relationships with other people because they don't believe in seeing multiple people at the same time. Even though you're "just friends" it is implied that romance will eventually follow and most people don't believe in browsing like that because its too much like cheating.

#4. Browsing can lead to cheating. Being "just friends" with multiple people can cause multiple romantic relationships to form and love triangles. This only leads to problems.

#5. People who try to control the flow of a relationship (aka relationship control freaks) usually don't have long term relationships because their controlling nature annoys people and is counter-productive to romance.

#6. This creates an unfair and unequal relationship.

My advice?

Anyone who suggests "Lets just stay friends" should be given either an ultimatum or avoided completely. In my experience these wishy-washy people need to make a decision (especially if they are the cheating type, since wishy-washy people often cheat). If they actually like you they should just date you. If they can't accept such a commitment then they just don't like you that much.

Sort of like the book "He's just not that into you."

There is no point in being left dangling on a hook while the other person continues to fish for bigger and better catches. Keeping you dangling means you're a backup plan, a 2nd fiddle, a spare wheel... except you're not even really that. You're a maybe. A might be replacement who may never be asked to fulfill a role.

And the silly thing is that the other person can change their mind at any time, creating an unfair and unequal relationship.

My advice?

Don't give such wishy-washy people the satisfaction of dangling people like that. They're not worth wasting your time on.

There are plenty of fish out there and you don't need to waste your time with someone who is wishy-washy and can't make a simple decision.

A Man's Guide to Fashion

FASHION - According to Harrison Fjord... this is how men should dress. :)

How to Tie a Full Windsor Knot

FASHION - If you've always wondered but never tried it, here it is: Instructions, diagram and a video demonstration of how to tie a Full Windsor Knot. (Also known as a Double Windsor Knot.)

INSTRUCTIONS FOR A FULL WINDSOR KNOT.

#1. The Windsor knot needs a lot more length of the necktie to tie this knot. Make certain that the broad end of the tie hangs down much lower. Cross the wider end of the tie over the narrow end and hold in place with two fingers (one finger on the back and one on the front).

#2. Take the wide end of the tie and pull it through the loop on your neck. Then take the wide end of the tie and wrap it back behind the narrow end.

#3. Now take the wide end of the tie and pull it through the loop across from the side of the previous wrapping.

#4. Slightly tighten it so it is snug, and pull the wide end back over the front of the knot. Don’t pull tight but create a loop.

#5. Pull the wide end of the tie through the loop at the front of the knot.

#6. Slightly tighten the knot. Make sure that the wide end of the tie lies centered and doesn’t fall into the crevice created of the two wrappings.

#7. Give the knot some final adjustment to make sure it is good and snug and flip down your collars. You are done tying the Double Windsor knot.

NOTE: If it doesn't look perfect, undo and do it over again. Practice makes perfect.

Oddly enough the best video I could find demonstrating how to tie a Full Windsor Knot is by a woman... you go girl!

Being Sexy at Work

SEX - Do you know what sells lingerie? Its not the sex, its the mystery of what lays beneath and it leaves the female body parts up to our imagination.

It doesn't even have to be lingerie. It can be any kind of fashion item provided it actually clothes the body.

Take the photo on the right as an example. It gets the point across. Its attractive and alluring... but all of this depends on the imagination. Skin by itself doesn't provoke much imagination. Its the shape of the skin and the flesh underneath. Muscles. Angles. Curves. And you don't need bare flesh to see curves.

And this works equally well with men.

What looks more attractive? A man wearing an extra large baggy shirt?

Or a man wearing a tight-fitting shirt which shows his physique?

The answer for most people is obvious, the tight-fitting shirt.

The problem however is if you are overweight... and have rolls of fat that you want to hide. That is when the baggy clothes comes in because you are looking to hide fatty rolls.

Lets look at the following photos as an example... two similarly attractive women both wearing grey... but you can see the curves of this woman on the right because her clothes are tight fitting.

Now once you've learned this fashion sexiness principle you realize why you its important to do two things when trying to attract a mate:

#1. Stay fit. Get nice abs. Do yoga and cardio.
#2. Wear clothes suitable for your size that is either tight fitting or not too baggy.

And provided you have a nice personality to go with your sexy body you will have no problem attracting a mate.