The Male Brain at Work

Whirlwind Romances and Commitment-Phobes at Work

2011-12-18T14:15:00.000-08:00

DISCLAIMER - Not all people are commitment-phobes. Some have completely legitimate reasons to end a relationship. Some are just fickle or bored easily. It is my experience that younger people tend to be commitment-phobes and older people are more willing and desiring of a lasting relationship with all the responsibilities that come with it.

LOVE - Have you ever met a woman and after awhile (the term "awhile" can really vary from woman to woman) she starts talking about commitment.

Now commitment could mean many things.

It could mean going steady (which some men fear because they don't like to be tied down to one person and prefer to sleep around / cheat constantly).

It could mean moving in together as part of a natural progression towards marriage.

It could mean marriage itself, with the implied commitment towards having children.

Many of these things have been known to cause bachelors running for the hills, seeking protection and some sort of escape clause from their relationship. This is largely due to a fear of responsibility and/or commitment and/or fear of growing older, settling down, etc.

Usually its young men who are commitment-phobes. The older the man gets the more likely he starts getting fatherly yearnings towards having a wife and kids. And even grandkids. The ol' grow old and die together bit.

For women it is the same problem, but they also have a biological clock that is ticking. Once a woman enters her 30s and hasn't had kids of her own, if she has any plans to do so she had better speed it up and/or lower her standards.

Now there is plenty of nice single men out there. I know, I am one of them. But they're sometimes shy and they can't be hitting on women at work (because that is sexual harassment), they can't hit on women on the subway (because that is just creepy) and meeting women at church only works for those people who are super-religious and have no life.

So where is a man in his 30s supposed to meet a woman his age? Online personals. And there is quite a few out there, but the one I recommend is Plenty of Fish, or if you're very serious about getting married, check out eVow.

So you go through the whole online personals thing, a bit embarrassed at first, but hey, its easier than trying to pick up a woman at a bar and getting rejected in person.

Then Man meets Woman... and here is where we reach the Whirlwind Romance part of my conversation.

If people connect on their first meeting (and sadly most do not connect) they will probably end their first date with a kiss. Anything less than a kiss and she probably doesn't like you, so don't expect a 2nd date unless she actually makes an effort to arrange a 2nd meeting. No Kiss + Zero Effort = No 2nd Date. Capiche?

If they connect very well it might reach one of those baseball euphemism bases... for those who don't know, they are:

First base – French kissing involving the tongue.
Second base – Aggressive stimulation of the upper body, neck, chest, breasts, back, etc.
Third base – Manual or oral stimulation of the genitalia.
Home run – The act of penetrative intercourse, whether vaginal or anal.

Now if the 4th one happens and continues for some time its recommended you get tested for HIV, wear protection (especially if you're sleeping with multiple women), practice self control, etc.

Now eventually one or both of you will become emotionally attached to the other. If this happens quickly, as per a Whirlwind Romance, one or both parties might be tempted to slow it down or even break off the relationship completely (as in you never see her again). Such is the risks associated with having a Whirlwind Romance, they can sometimes end quickly.

Speaking for myself, my Whirlwind Romances usually led to long term relationships, the longest of which lasted 6 years. So in my opinion Whirlwind Romances are a good sign that two people are very compatible.

But not everyone thinks that way. So don't be surprised when women want to slow things down or end it.

Why?

Because women can also be commitment-phobes. They may have other (more legitimate) reasons too, but the core principle is sound. If things happen too fast men typically don't care, so long as the marriage part is slower. For women if things happen too fast they seem to get freaked out easily, possibly due to the fear of the unknown, fear of marriage, fear they're repeating a mistake / trend they've made with other relationships, etc. Any number of legitimate reasons.

Now if you commitment-phobe men out there were paying attention, you may have noticed the escape clause you have been looking for... all you have to do is say:

"I think we're going too fast and should take a break."

Oh sure, the woman is going to accuse you of being a commitment-phobe, and she would be right in doing so. But at least you're being honest for once.

To be fair to her you should also make it clear whether you will ever change your mind.

If you are interested in seeing her later you should say something like: "I just need time to think, but if I come to decision I would like to get back together with you and we could take it slower the second time around."

If you have zero interest in ever seeing her again (because she wasn't your type, was some psychotic nutjob, etc.) you should probably just tell her: "Don't bother waiting for me. I have zero interest in seeing you again. I don't think you are my type anyway. Lets just be friends! You snore and your breath stinks. You make love like a corpse. Etc, etc." You could even email her this blog post and she will get the hint.

Now on the reverse side if its the gal who gets cold feet and becomes commitment-phobic, well then there is nothing you can do about it except try to be supportive (pleading doesn't work, you only feel more pathetic and rejected).

If she says she may change her mind later, great. If not, then you will probably never see her again.

Such is life.

The funny thing about commitment-phobes is that men and women usually go about it differently. Men will typically look for an excuse to end a relationship. Women are more likely to use the "Lets just be friends!" speech or the "Its going too fast!" speech.

All things are equal in love and war, but that doesn't stop us from using different tactics.

How to get a Softer Mustache (or Beard)

2011-11-25T08:06:00.000-08:00

I've been growing a Movember (a Mustache to raise awareness for prostate cancer) during the month of November...

Alas the damn thing itches and the bristles are, well, bristly. Probably pretty annoying when kissing the ladies too.

So how do I get a softer / less itchy mustache?

While it is true that everyone's hair is different, there are some ways to get softer hair.

#1. CONDITIONER.

This is the biggest and best thing you can do. When washing your hair with shampoo and conditioner, use a dab on your mustache (or beard) and let it sit awhile. Then lightly rinse it out after a couple minutes. If you leave a little bit of conditioner in your mustache, good. It will moisturize the hair and make it even softer.

#2. HARSH ALKALINE SHAMPOO

ie. Baby Shampoo. It will make your hair really soft. The alkaline breaks down the coarseness.

#3. MOISTURIZERS

ie. Hand moisturizers, shea butter, that sort of thing.

#4. BRUSH DAILY

Use a natural bristle brush.

#5. TRIM, DON'T CUT.

Cutting your mustache all at once with a sharp razor will leave sharp points at the ends of the hair. If you trim only little bits at a time with dull scissors it will leave softer points and only effect a small percentage of the hairs as opposed to making the whole mustache sharp again.

#6. HOT AIR

Use a blow dryer after shampooing and conditioning.

#7. PERM

Using a perm solution seems a bit drastic, but it will definitely help.

#8. DIET

Adding linseed oil and flaxseed oil to your diet will also make your hair softer. This goes for the whole body. It also makes your skin softer and a bunch of other health benefits.

Stupid People at Work

2011-11-16T14:41:00.000-08:00

ENVIRONMENT - Ever had an argument with a stupid person?

You know, the kind of people who ignore the laws of physics?

For this example I am referring to people who ignore the laws of thermodynamics... and in particular greenhouse gases. Greenhouse gases trap heat inside the earth's atmosphere. Its a proven fact.

Its a bit like ignoring other laws of physics... like gravity! Laws of motion, acceleration, relativity, quantum laws, electromagnetic laws, etc.

Thus when arguing with a stupid person who refuses to acknowledge the laws of thermodynamics and how greenhouse gases can be a frustrating task. The stupid person you are arguing with lacks the basic knowledge to make a coherent argument. Instead they use half logic, make up numbers, use information that is besides the point.

I recently had an argument with a deranged man named Willie McDonald from Houston, Texas. He kept fussing and claiming sun irradiation was the cause of global warming. He used made up numbers and links to conspiracy theory websites.

Sun irradiation (heat) has gone up 0.05% per decade since 1980 during quiet sunspot activity. So approximately 0.15%. The heat from the sun does fluctuate from time to time, but 0.15% is not enough to explain the temperature increases and global warming on Earth. Its too small a number. (Note, this increase is only a measurement during quiet sunspot activity... and thus is besides the point and further made irrelevant when you consider that the Earth's atmosphere both deflects and traps heat.)

Especially when you ignore how greenhouse gases work.

The Earth absorbs heat from the sun, yes, but the Earth also gives off heat back into space. The amount of heat given off into space depends on the percentage of greenhouse gases in the Earth's atmosphere.

The Earth's atmosphere also reflects heat. Thus the Earth's contained heat remains a relative constant, and the Earth's atmosphere is the single biggest contributor to global warming.

Greenhouse gases work like insulation. Once the heat gets inside the Earth's atmosphere it becomes more difficult for heat to escape. If you fill a box with greenhouse gases and provide a heat source, the box will heat up easily. If you fill it up with regular air, the box will still heat up, but it will give off heat more.

The primary greenhouse gases in the Earth's atmosphere are water vapor, carbon dioxide, methane, nitrous oxide, and ozone. How well these trap heat are even measurable. See the IPCC list of greenhouse gases for more details.

And so forth...

Try explaining all this to a stupid person (especially a conspiracy theorist) who refuses to admit that the Laws of Physics are called LAWS for a reason.

I blame the education system in North America. In this particular case, the man Willie McDonald from Texas has been failed by whatever passes for "science" in Texas high schools.

Worse, these uneducated morons cloud up poorly researched journalism and TV programs with their theories about the 'real cause of global warming', or worse, they deny that global warming and climate change are even happening.

It makes me wonder if and when the worst effects of climate change comes to pass what society will do with these morons. I think they will likely either learn to shut their mouths and follow sheepishly along, or somebody else will shut it for them...

Why? Because if the worst does come to pass we're talking about rising sea levels, flooded coastal cities, droughts, desertification of the wheat belt, shortages of food and clean water, wars over food and resources. By that time the patience of people will be worn thin. Naysayer politicians will be beaten bloody in the streets by angry hordes and the non-famous naysayers will suddenly lose their tongues.

I think there will come a time when the effects of climate change become so dire that people will have lost their patience with leaders, oil executives and the coal industry. There will be no more room for arguments about the effects of climate change and what is causing it. The effects will be violent and bloody.

Why will it be bloody? Because stupid people don't have the patience to learn from their mistakes. They answer with action.

The social effects of climate change in the USA will be like watching a Jerry Springer episode. Stupid people killing other stupid people.

The smart people, like Noah and his Ark, will have foreseen what is coming and all moved further inland and found arable land unaffected by climate change or rising sea levels.

FYI: Land in Detroit is really cheap right now.

Gold Diggers at Work

2011-10-24T17:58:00.000-07:00

Earlier today I went on a first date (you know, a coffee date) with a girl I met via online personals. She was Russian, very attractive, but when it came time to pay the bill she apparently thought I was treating her (despite the fact that it her idea to have drinks together).

She was apparently so traditional that this was the sole reason why we did not schedule a 2nd date. She didn't provide any other reason...

Thus I am forced to conclude either she was:

A. Honest and just very traditional and used to men who pay for everything.

B. Lying and there was some other reason why she didn't like me.

C. A gold digger.

Now I would like to hope it was A, just because I don't like it when people lie to me, but there is the distinct chance it was C, she is a gold digger and just looking for someone to pay for her way through life.

I should point out that most men hate gold diggers. They just feel used and betrayed if a woman is using them for money.

HOWEVER, I should point out that some men also like gold diggers... but I should note these men are same type who get trophy wives and like prostitutes.

As an artist / writer I am fortunate enough to know that any gold diggers will be sorely disappointed with my finances. Artists / writers aren't exactly known for being wealthy and usually need a second career to make ends meet.

Thus while it would be nice to be rich enough to buy girlfriends expensive $3,000 puppies for their birthdays (ie. Toronto Maltese Puppies are really cute) the fact of the matter is I don't want a lazy girlfriend or wife who is dependent on me... nor is it practical.

Lets imagine you have a high paying executive career. You marry a gold digger. You get in a car accident and are unable to work. Your finances start to run low. Does the gold digger stick with you, through sickness and in health, til death do you part? No, the gold digger divorces your sorry butt, she gets nothing because frankly you aren't working any more due to health reasons and don't have any money to take, and then she is left with no career of her own to fall back on.

Thus marrying a gold digger simply isn't practical, for either of you. Oh sure, she could sell any jewelry you gave her (like the Marilyn Monroe song "Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend"), but the end result is she is back at square one.

Madonna's "Material Girl" pays homage to the Marilyn Monroe song, but with an important difference. In the music video she ends up going out with the guy who brought her handpicked daisies.

Part of the whole gold digger phenomenon we could blame on tradition. Traditionally men were the bread winners and women didn't need to have their own career. In modern society its now considered to be more practical if both men and women have their own careers, their own money and they aren't financially beholden to their spouse.

Speaking for myself, I would prefer to go the handpicked daisy route. Not because its cheaper on my wallet, but because at least then I know the woman is being honest, realistic and practical.

Diamonds may be a Girl's Best Friend, but Diamonds won't buy you True Love.

Disciplining your Kids at Work (Part II)

2011-09-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

See the older post: Disciplining your Kids at Work to learn more about physical discipline (ie. spanking, ear tugging, etc).

Now regardless of whether you believe in physical discipline (I firmly believe that as a child I needed it and I am thankful my parents used ear tugging and spankings at an early age to get their point across that tomfoolery will not go unpunished).

However at a certain age these kinds of punishments don't work any more. This is something every parent knows.

Thus begins a period of "being grounded", being denied dessert after dinner, not being allowed to watch TV, play on the computer, no talking on the phone, etc. At least these were the punishments I was familiar with being grounded during the 1980s and 1990s.

These days being grounded means being sent to their room where many kids now have their own TV, laptop, cell phone, so "being grounded" isn't really much of a punishment unless the parents also take away those electronic devices. I would argue however that the cell phone is an emergency device and should never be taken away. (But you might start handing the bill to the teenager and let them pay for it so they learn to cut back on their rampant usage.)

I remember once wracking up a huge $1,500 phone bill back in August 1997. Thankfully I was working and could pay for it, but in retrospect that money could have been spent on something else. I learned to discipline my phone usage after that incident.

The thing is self-discipline is a rare thing amongst children. Most children will simply run amok (like the kids in Lord of the Flies) if there is no one to tell them what they can and cannot do.

Case in point.

When I was 14 there was an incident at a gathering of neighbours outside the old Salem School and Church. It was basically a community BBQ and I noticed a bunch of kids bullying another kid, running around hitting each other with sticks. So being one of the older (and therefore more responsible) kids I took their sticks away and threw them over the fence.

Two of the boys went to complain to their father, claiming I had bullied them and/or hit them. The father came over to talk to me, telling me to leave his kids alone and threatening me. (I don't remember the exact words, it was 18 years ago.)

"All I did was take their sticks away and throw them over the fence. If you would discipline your kids this wouldn't be a problem."

At which point he threatened me some more and claimed his kids were perfectly disciplined.

To which I believe my response was "Bullshit. You're not even watching them." and basically berated him about the finer points of discipline, a fact which no doubt embarrassed him in front of his neighbours and he realized there was nothing he could do about it so he made one last threat and stormed away.

And THIS is why people should discipline their kids (whatever your methodology, providing its legal), so that your kids don't embarrass you in public, run amok beating up other kids, burning down churches and/or eventually becoming mass murderers. (Everyone blames the parents when the mass murderer strikes. Sometimes the mass murderer also kills their parents.)

Children should be encouraged to enjoy sports, express their creativity, to read, to show off their ability to learn and their intellect... and discouraged from bad behaviour which will cause trouble and mayhem both in the present and the future.

A neglectful parent is not a proper parent at all. Parenting requires you to actually pay attention to your children. Not paying attention and you reap the consequences.

Colombiana = A Heir to Kill Bill

2011-08-20T10:12:00.000-07:00

ENTERTAINMENT - If you loved Kill Bill (I adored both Kill Bill films)you're probably going to enjoy this one:

Colombiana: Zoe Saldana plays a young woman who, after witnessing her parents’ murder as a child in Bogotá, grows up to be a stone-cold assassin. She works for her uncle as a hitman by day, but her personal time is spent engaging in vigilante murders that she hopes will lead her to her ultimate target: the monster responsible for her parents' death.

It doesn't say it in the trailer, but they also hint that he raped her.

Films where women are physically or metaphorically raped and then go on a killing spree (essentially because they've been traumatized) are really kind of a warning to never underestimate the vengeance of a woman.

Hell hath no fury like a vengeful woman.

"Revenge is a dish best served cold."

Fantasy Authors at Work

2011-08-13T20:44:00.000-07:00

ENTERTAINMENT - Is fantasy just something for men?

No, evidently not. Not when you consider fantasy authors like Anne McCaffrey, Ursula K. Le Guin and J.K. Rowling, just for starters. There is also Marion Zimmer Bradley, Margaret Weis and many more.

As male fantasy authors go there is Robert E. Howard, George R.R. Martin, Tolkien, Guy Gabriel Kay, Troy Denning, Tracy Hickman, David Eddings, Dave Duncan and many others.

The major difference between male and female fantasy authors however seems to be the number of films / TV shows based off their work. Male authors have way more movies and TV shows... Conan, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings and so forth.

For female fantasy authors its a very short list... Harry Potter.

And I don't think it is any lack of quality of the imagination of the authors. ie. Anne McCaffrey's "Dragon Riders of Pern" would make a great film if given an opportunity. Same goes with the Dragonlance Trilogy, co-written by both Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman.

When it comes to being a fantasy author you really have to measure success by whether its made into a film.

Which begs the question, would it be beneficial for female fantasy authors to publish their works under a male pseudonym just so they're taken more seriously?

Maybe. But I think personal charisma and the likeability of characters makes a huge difference. Harry Potter, Conan and characters like Frodo / Gandalf deserve to be recognized in film... but again you may have noticed many of them are male characters.

Could we assume this is because more men read fantasy in the first place? Maybe. Its difficult to say the exact reason.

Tattoos at Work

2011-07-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

ART - Men and women who choose to get tattoos, piercings or any kind of noticeable body art are really wreaking havoc with their future career.

True, it may not hurt celebrities of the world like David Beckham (shown here), because their careers are already successful.

But for those people who are young and struggling in their careers having a large neck tattoo, a jungle of piercings, or a virtual art gallery on their body will find it difficult to find work.

Women I think can get away with this more. Women have a tendency to be more discreet about where they get their tattoos or piercings. Plus psychologically speaking employers are more likely to look the other way if a female has a tattoo whereas for men tattoos are associated with bad behaviour.

Lets take the South Korean military as an example. Military service for men in South Korea is mandatory. But there is ways to get out of it. One of the ways is to get a tattoo. The South Korean military believes that men with tattoos are unruly and won't follow orders, and therefore won't allow them into the military. (Which is the complete opposite of the United States military where tattoos of their units are welcomed.)

If you are a parent you have probably given your kids plenty of advice about how to get and keep a job. Not having tattoos or piercings was probably amongst your suggestions.

According to a recent study conducted by Career Builder applicants who do not follow proper job etiquette are hurting their chances - even if they are a good fit for the position.

Whether a candidate is seeking a new job or a promotion, a professional image can make a difference. According to managers who were surveyed they said the following personal attributes would make them less likely to extend a promotion include:

• Piercings
• Bad breath
• Visible tattoos
• Often have wrinkled clothes
• Messy hair
• Dresses too casually
• Too much perfume or cologne
• Too much make up
• Messy office or cubicle

Of course this really depends on the nature of the workplace. Well hidden piercings and tattoos are fairly main stream in cities these days. However there is never an excuse for poor personal hygiene unless you're a garbage collector.

Over 20% of hiring managers also said they are less likely to hire a candidate who didn’t send a post-interview thank you note. That’s because they say omitting this step shows a lack of follow through and sends a message that the applicant is not really serious about the opportunity. (We should note many young people don't even know about this unspoken rule.)

A hand written note is still the gold standard, but most managers are perfectly happy to get an emailed thank you from interested applicants. If there were multiple interviewers, each interviewer should get a personal note.

It makes you realize the number of unspoken rules the workplace these days has.

The whole thank you note thing may seem repetitive, but enthusiasm for the job is a key component for hiring people. It is also your last chance to boost your chances. (Especially if other applicants send a thank you note and you did not.)

Another big thing HR staff now check is Facebook and Google your name. Its a good idea to clean up your online reputation so that when they do take these steps they are seeing the best possible side of you.

ie. You probably won't want them seeing photos of you on a website involving "drunk people with tattoos" or any other poor behaviour.

There's even a case of a man who legally changed his name because of his old profession and bad reputation online. He now has kids and wanted 2 things: Employers to see the new him; His children to only know about the new him as well, as opposed to the old version which was very risque film work and involved his private member diving repeatedly into the dark spot between the legs of multiple women. (*cough cough*)

The end result is that men and women need to be more discreet about where they are getting tattoos and piercings if they want to have any kind of serious business career.

The same rule applies when applying to an university, running for political office, or even wanting to become a clergy member.

Tattoos, like all other forms of art, are subjective and not everyone likes particular styles of art.

Its a bit like picking out corporate art for your office. Do you pick a piece of abstract art, a landscape or a figurative nude? Probably best to go with an abstract or landscape piece just so you don't accidentally offend or distract clients.

Age of Conan at Work

2011-07-08T12:15:00.000-07:00

ENTERTAINMENT - While I don't recommend playing it at work (too much adult content), I do recommend people check out "Age of Conan: Unchained" the online roleplaying game based on the world of Conan the Barbarian. The game is now free to download and play. (The Age of Conan store however sells bonus stuff to make the game easier.)

Male and Female Drivers at Work

2011-07-07T19:37:00.000-07:00

CARS - Who is the best drivers? Male drivers or female drivers? Watch the video!

And these videos about Finland drivers:

Oh and while we are at it, here is the world's worst driver. A Dutchman named Pim from a reality TV show ended up hitting the acceletator when he was supposed to be stepping on the brakes. He ended up hitting the host of the TV show.

Rob Fod Vs the Gay Pride Parade

2011-07-06T20:53:00.000-07:00

CANADA - No Rob Ford? No problem.

With an estimated crowd of over 1 million people, Toronto's Gay Pride Parade went off with its usual rainbow-esque festivities as Torontonians celebrated 31 years of Pride, despite Toronto Mayor Rob Ford's controversial absence.

Where was Rob Ford? He was hiding up north in his cottage, avoiding everything to do with the Gay Pride Parade. Homophobic? Maybe. Or more likely he is trying to win votes from the white middle class suburbanites who elected him mayor in the first place.

The record-breaking event this year was more than a massive celebration that takes over several city streets. The parade is a constant reminder that there is still a lot to do to achieve equal rights for LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) communities worldwide.

And the fact Toronto's own mayor refused to go really hammers home the concept that this is an important equal rights issue, even if you're not gay and have no interest in the LGBT community.

The three-hour parade, the largest of its kind in Canada, is part of the largest gay festival in North America (which means its also one of the biggest in the world) involves a 10-day Pride Week that generates about $100 million for Toronto's economy and draws 10s of thousands of tourists to Toronto.

Rob Ford claims he skipped the parade to continue a family tradition of spending Canada Day in cottage country. He also skipped all the other Pride events held earlier in the week, including a rainbow flag raising at city hall. He avoided everything and anything to do with being gay.

Ford has already faced plenty of criticism and accusations of homophobia.

In the parade some people waved signs denouncing Rob Ford, while others poked fun at him by covering their faces or genitals with cardboard cut-outs of Ford's face.

It was the first time since 1994 that Toronto's sitting mayor didn't march in the parade. Former mayors Barbara Hall and David Miller came out to attend.

As Miller shook hands one young man shouted: "Our old mayor is better than our new one," which drew a chorus of cheers. David Miller declined to comment about Ford's absence and focused on the positive instead.

"I believe this event shows Toronto at its best," says David Miller, who was Toronto's mayor until Ford took over in fall 2010. "In our city, everybody's welcome."

Rapists at Work / Apology Video

2011-07-05T16:48:00.000-07:00

Greetings ladies and gents!

Below is my very first video log via webcam... I may turn this into a tradition of making these video clips for the blog.

Today's topic is Rape statistics in Canada and the conviction rates of rapists in Canada.

Ex Girlfriends or Ex Wives at Work

2011-06-18T21:13:00.000-07:00

Ah relationships...

Or more specifically in this case, the ENDING of relationships. Do they ever truly end sometimes? Or do they just drag on and morph into something else?

For example I think there is at least 4 basic scenarios when a serious couple breaks up...

#1. Mutual split, they both hate each other.

#2. Mutual split, they're still friends.

#3. She dumps him, but he still loves her.

#4. He dumps her, but she still loves him.

Next there is sub scenarios...

A. They still talk constantly.

B. They rarely talk.

C. They never talk again.

A2. They have children together and have to talk constantly due to shared custody.

B2. Shared custody but they avoid talking if they can help it because its either painful, awkward, angry, bitter, or something more complicated.

C2. One of the parents' leaves with the children, disappears and never speaks to the other parent ever again.

Of course there will be many other factors (ie. how and why they broke up, whether either of them cheated, whether they were actually married, how long the relationship lasted, rockiness of the relationship, whether they miss each other, are they business colleagues and sometime work together, etc.)...

These days technology has made it easier than ever to send a message to someone's ex. We have email and Facebook and many other ways to find / contact that person. (Unless they disappear and change their name...)

Ideally it is possible to stay friends with the person, but such circumstances seem to be rare. Especially if there is a large amount of bitterness between the couple.

Children wishing their divorced parents would get back together like to believe that anything can happen, including the burying of old hatchets and the rekindling of old flames.

We all would like to think it can happen but the truth is it rarely does. Bitterness is a bit like distrust. Once its there its like a stain on the relationship that never goes away.

Kissing in Dangerous Times... at Work!

2011-06-17T18:38:00.001-07:00

LOVE & SEX - The photo on the right is young lovers Alexandra Thomas and Scott Jones in Vancouver, kissing during the recent riots following the Canucks loss.

The photo has since gone viral online, and according to interviews Alexandra and Scott they were actually afraid and fearing for their safety. The kissing couple were photographed in between police lines at the Vancouver riot, trapped and unable to go in either direction because police wouldn't let them.

“We were struck by police shields, pushed to the ground and I was just very, very frightened,” says Alexandra. “Everything happened so fast, faster than we could ever imagine it could happen.”

The two were not part of the riots. They were just looky-loos who had been watching the game at a friend’s house downtown when they heard about the riots and wanted to take a look.

“We wanted to go down and see for ourselves but it was crazy,” says Scott. “We didn’t know where we were supposed to go. We wanted to get out of there and we ended up in the line of police marching forward.”

Alexandra was struck down charging police wielding riot shields and batons. Scott was also knocked on the ground. “I just wanted us to go home safely. It was unbelievable that it was happening and all I wanted was for us to be safe.”

“Nobody was getting out of the way. It was all of a sudden they charged us. Very strong-handed and we were in one spot. The only thing we could do was try to stay calm and try to get up,” says Alexandra.

While down Alexandra was panicking and upset, so Scott kissed her in an effort to calm her down. That is when a nearby photographer snapped their photo, capturing a perfect example of "make love not war".

After much confusion the pair managed to find a train station and took a train to get out of Vancouver's downtown core.

The next day their moment of tenderness during the chaos was in newspapers and spreading rapidly online.

“When I first saw it, I thought, ‘No way, that’s not ... I can’t believe that’s us,’ ” says Alexandra. “Then I looked some more and realized that is us. That’s a very revealing picture of us.”

In the history of rioters vs police there's always a lot of damage...

Take for example last years G20 protests in Toronto... it shut down the city core and what did it do to prevent damage to public property? Nothing. The protestors simply damaged whatever property they were near, often targeting companies they considered to be "corporate fat cats".

The amount of damage is something for insurance agents and Toronto accountants to decide, but we can safely guess the damage was in the 10s of thousands.

And then there is all the employees who were unable to work the following days until their workplaces were fixed, repaired and so forth. Its not like they can just hire some freelance IT staff and go back to work immediately.

And for what??? They didn't change the government's mind about anything. All that damage to public property and people unable to work, and NOTHING to show for it. See my older article about whether Protesting is Obsolete.

In theory if protestors actually wanted to accomplish something real they'd travel Ottawa and organize a secret protest (usually methods similar to flashmobbing groups) to pick the locations and times at the last minute, to avoid police interference.

But even then what would they do? Set fire to cars? Wave placards? Break Ottawa windows and loot stuff? And what is that supposed to accomplish?

Back to the Vancouver riots, the main focus of the riots was the Canada Post building... Canada Post is currently on strike. It was NOT Canuck fans who smashed the windows and was deliberately destroying the building. It was Canada Post workers in disguise, getting back against their employer.

And what effect has it had? Will the Canadian government give in to Canada Post union demands? Doubtful. Most people don't even know it was Canada Post workers who attacked the Canada Post building...

Meanwhile Stephen Harper is back in Ottawa, in 24 Sussex Drive, enjoying its weight room, tennis court, swimming pool, sunrooms, billiard room and all the other amenities. Does Stephen Harper care that Canadians are unhappy and protesting? Heck no.

Stephen Harper was elected with a majority government on May 2nd 2011. He will stay in power for the next 4 years. He doesn't care if protestors break windows, "make love not war" or do anything else. He will be in power regardless of how much people protest.

Proof that protest and rioting is useless.

Gender Studies at Work

2011-06-12T09:07:00.000-07:00

FEMINISM - Back in university I took a course titled "Male and Female Relationships"... It was really more of a literature course in which we analyzed how men and women interact with one another, and not just on a biochemical level as per sex / love (much to the disappointment of several people in the class on the first day who evidently did not read the course description). but also dealt with issues of motherhood / fatherhood, how children relate to their parents, how siblings relate to each other, how male / female co-workers get along, bosses, authority figures, etc, etc.

The course was my first taste of what a gender studies course was all about. In the years that followed I took many other courses on similar topics, including Psychology of Women, Male and Female Archetypes, and so forth. I basically minored in gender studies, which at the time was often known as women's studies, a misnomer because we spent half the class time talking about men too.

That last bit is an important part of the whole gender studies phenomenon. As a series of courses they really don't contribute anything to the global economy... but they do allow people to study something which effects how people interact with each on a social level.

Knowing the gender/sex of an individual is the first thing people do when they meet someone new. They look at their chest, their face and try to determine which sex they are. Once this is done they also assess how feminine or masculine a person is.

If the first is confusing (ie. the person has facial hair and yet has breasts) then we get confused and wonder what exactly is this person standing before us. Are they like the bearded lady from the circus? Are they a really butch woman? Are they a man who looks feminine and has hormonal problems? Are they a transsexual? If a person can't tell they get confused and distracted, trying to determine what exactly they are looking at.

In the end it might just be a tomboy who has some whiskers. Hopefully they don't notice you staring and trying to figure out the conundrum.

In Toronto there was recently a couple who decided they were going to raise their baby "genderless", meaning they would treat it the same regardless of whether it was a boy or a girl. This was later reported on in the local media and it became a bit of a fuss. (The kid is obviously a boy, but the parents were refusing to admit it.)

Now because he was so obviously a boy all the neighbours were saying so, asking to see if they were correct. There was even polls to gauge public opinion. A bit too much fuss if you ask me.

When the boy eventually reaches kindergarten he will already have identified himself as male. He will be prone to playing with others boys (because girls are icky, dontcha know?) and doing activities that boys want to do. Its a natural process of self identification.

Identity is very meaningful to the individual. People define themselves with words, saying things like "I am a doctor" or "I am an amateur race car driver" or "I am a father of three", and so forth.

For example, I am an artist, writer, author, website designer, painter, sculptor, photographer, athlete, bicycle mechanic, weightlifter, archer, cyclist, amateur boxer, zen guru, Lilith expert, SEO expert, linguist, poly-lingual, long haired, glasses wearing, amateur guitarist, CEO, entrepreneur, Dungeons & Dragons player, nerd, geek, health nut, eidetic genius, liberal-minded, practical, spendthrift, blatantly honest, Scottish-French-German-Hebrew-Prussian, straight, white male with a sense of humour.

But is this all that I am? No. I am also a body, blood, sweat, meat, fluids, organs, skin, hair and if you believe in any religion I am also a soul which is either going to heaven, hell, purgatory or being reincarnated after I die.

And even so, is this all of my identity? No, because I left things out... I am also a lover, a poet, a hopeless romantic and any number of other words that people might choose to describe me. ie. Some people might call me a self-righteous prick.

Recognizing that we define ourselves by our identity, gender studies is a topic that doesn't just deal with issues of relationships, androgyny, sexuality and so forth... it also deals with the topic of identity and how that is tied to our ego.

The macho male ego for example is a fragile one. Its built upon the idea of being "macho" and masculine at all times. If caught in a situation where the macho male looks weak or feminine, the macho response is to loudly proclaim that they aren't feminine, a sissy, a coward, gay, homosexual, metrosexual or whatever... and if loudly proclaiming it doesn't work, then they start a fight to prove what a 'big man' they are.

I'd argue it takes a bigger man to be humble and accept that we cannot always be macho. Especially if you're a parent.

As a parent there will be times when you need to change a baby's diapers, take the kid in a stroller to the park, and so forth. Not exactly macho activities at all.

But then again macho and married with children don't usually go that well together. Alpha males may be good at attracting women (especially dumb women), but they're not very good at keeping them around because they tend to be assholes.

Studying gender (as per gender studies or women's studies) is therefore highly useful. I'd also argue it takes a smarter man to realize these things and that getting in a fight isn't going to change anything. Fighting won't make your penis bigger.

But it might get you kicked in the balls.

In unrelated news.... Macho Man Randy Savage dies in car accident

Open Letter to Casandra Vasu

2011-06-05T18:19:00.000-07:00

The following letter is something I wrote and sent to an old love interest from the 1990s. I spotted her recently on a social media website and thought I would give her a kick in the butt. I admit I kind of rub her face it and act like a bit of a dick to her in the letter, but its with the purpose of provoking her into changing her life. See if it would inspire her to get her life in order and actually do something with it.

Hey Casi!

Wow, you look really old!

Time has not been kind to you...

I still get asked for ID when buying booze, go figure. I chalk it up to healthy eating, cycling, yoga and weightlifting. In the last year I've also taken up archery, boxing and mountain climbing just to keep things interesting.

In other news I just found out that my artwork is now taught in several art history courses.

Its rather unnerving the amount of attention I get... fan letters, that sort of thing. Plus my paintings have been in 3 documentaries so far and I am getting commissions from TV shows. That part I cannot complain about.

I miss our old banter. The sad part about the whole you-me story is that I went on to do something with my life and you seemed to fall to pieces. Dropped out and off the radar.

Which is really sad because you had so much potential but you were always distracted, bragging about what you were instead of reaching for what you could be.

It would be nice to see you pick up the pieces of your life and actually do something with it. Something truly meaningful. I don't mean fame or money or anything else fleeting. I am talking about changing society around you to something more positive.

Maybe you have been doing that already, but its so low key its not even on the radar. Its good to be humble. Being unnerved by my fame is a good thing I suppose. It keeps me humble but I can still brag about my accomplishments right? There is nothing wrong with being proud of my career.

But what I want to do is so much more. I don't want my painting "United States Censorship" to be an one hit wonder. Its not even that good of a painting, I am the first to admit that. For starters its only on a large piece of paper. More of a sketch than a painting. I want to make many more paintings in the future, paintings which inspire thought and change. I think that is why my paintings are now being talked about in art history classes, because they do that.

To me it is sad to see an old friend, man or woman, relegated to the sidelines of life. Especially when they could have done so much more with their life.

Hope you are well and happy!

Sincerely,
Charles Moffat

Jock Yoga at Work

2011-06-01T09:27:00.000-07:00

HEALTH - There is Hatha Yoga, Ashtanga Yoga, Moksha Yoga, Bikram/Hot Yoga... but the instant favourite yoga for men of all is JOCK YOGA.

Now I will admit, I've been doing my own version of "jock yoga" for years now. For me its basically a combination of yoga positions + weightlifting, sometimes simultaneously.

However Jock Yoga, as its patented by Toronto founder Michael DeCorte, is different from my own particular brand of yoga. DeCorte's Jock Yoga focuses on strength and endurance, with less emphasis on flexibility. And his methods differ wildly from my own.

And for male beginners jock yoga offers something that other yoga practitioners do not: Your dignity.

The reason is because many men, despite being quite athletic or strong, are not very flexible. Sometimes its just a size/height issue too, like it was in my case wherein certain positions are more difficult because my legs are too long. (Men typically have longer legs proportionally compared to women.)

Jock Yoga, as a new branch of yoga designed specifically for guys, uses positions that any man can do, but combines various aspects of Power Yoga, Vinyasa Yoga (which focuses on breathing), and Ashtanga Yoga (eight-limbed yoga, which includes meditation, self-purification, morality, posture, breath control, sensory control, intentions and contemplation).

Within jock yoga the idea is to make you sweat buckets. The poses are designed to be difficult to hold the posture due to the physical strain, not because it requires flexibility.

(Speaking for myself and my own brand of yoga, I do something similar, but I use 30 lb and 25 lb weights, exercise elastic tubes and rope to put added pressure on the muscle building part of the exercise. I will also sometimes add headstand pushups and gymnastic exercises to my routine.)

But whatever! More power to Michael DeCorte for succeeding to get more men into the yoga studio. His classes have become notoriously popular with both men and women.

Michael DeCorte's classes are available at:

473A Church Street Toronto, "Jock Yoga" at Buddha Body Yoga (where I briefly attended back in 2009).

889 Yonge Street Toronto, where it is known as "Athletic Flow".

661 Yonge Street Suite 300, Toronto, "Flow 1" at Iam Yoga.

1498 Yonge Street Toronto, "Jock Yoga" at Moksha Yoga Uptown.

155 Liberty Street Toronto, "Jock Yoga Bootcamp" at the LiV Yoga Studio.

1661 Queen Street East Toronto, "Jock Yoga" at System Fitness.

1977 Queen Street East Toronto, "Level 1" at Downward Dog at the Beach.

For more about Yoga and similar topics see:
Yoga Tips for Beginners
The History and Benefits of Yoga
Yoga Fashion
Ab Exercises
Parkour
Anti Aging Techniques
Women's Retreats

Anorexic Women and Arnold Schwarzenegger at Work

2011-05-18T10:30:00.001-07:00

HEALTH - I totally understand why Arnold Schwarzenegger cheated on his wife Maria Shriver... and later separated from her in 2010 and now looks to be heading towards divorce.

Have you seen Maria Shriver? She is so anorexic she looks like a skeletal corpse.

When Arnold and Maria first met many years ago Maria Shriver was a thin but reasonably healthy woman. She was in many ways a trophy wife, but had intellect and was a member of the Kennedy Family (and thus a boon to Arnold Schwarzenegger's political career).

However as she got older Maria Shriver became more obsessed with dieting / cutting back on food that she began to look like somekind of undead monster. Combined with this is the associated mental disorders such an eating disorder like anorexia brings with it. She became irritable, obsessive, problematic... in short she became a mental head case.

To treat such a problem what you need is a psychiatrist, which Arnold Schwarzenegger is not.

But what Arnold Schwarzenegger is however is a bodybuilding health nut. To him this wasting away of muscle and fat to leave only skin and bones would have been seen as the opposite of what Maria Shriver should be doing. If she wanted to look beautiful the thing to do is to eat well and exercise. That Arnold certainly knows.

It is therefore perhaps no surprise that approx. 14 years ago that Arnold Schwarzenegger cheated on his wife Maria Shriver in favour of the much more attractive housekeeper Patty (Mildred Patricia Baena) and in the process fathered a son, who has recently been the centre of much media attention.

As a working mother Patty had to take care of Maria and Arnold's four children, cook, clean and do laundry. She was certainly eating healthy and getting lots of exercise. She was a virtual sexy amazon compared to Maria Shriver's withered corpse of a body.

The point I am making here isn't that Arnold cheated on his anorexic wife. I am not endorsing cheating whatsoever. The point I am making is that anorexia is NOT sexy. Never is, never will be.

Only some seriously mentally deficient person would want to have sex with a skeleton. That is just plain sick.

With respect to Arnold Schwarzenegger it is no surprise that he tried to do the honourable thing and hold his family together long enough so his children could all grow up with a family, including the bastard son who apparently spent a reasonable amount of time on his estate. While he kept it a secret from his family, he made the son a welcome part of their extended family.

I would speculate that Arnold Schwarzenegger will eventually find love again in his life, but this time he will pay closer attention to finding someone who shares his interest in healthy diet and exercise.

See Also
The Perfect Female Body at Work
Dissatisfaction with Our Bodies and Eating Disorders
Anorexia in Asia
Thinspiration Sickspiration
Bulimia and Depression

Bacon Flavoured Grilled Cheese Sandwich

2011-04-21T09:43:00.000-07:00

HEALTH - I don't like to waste food.

Heck, I don't even like to waste food byproducts... like bacon grease.

Thus when I had bacon yesterday I kept the grease in the pan and had fried eggs later.

And this morning I still had grease leftover, but I had run out of eggs... And then I looked at the cheddar cheese in my fridge and an idea sparked...

Minutes later I was grilling not one but TWO grilled cheese sandwiches in the frying pan, using the bacon grease.

And yes, it was delicious.

However on the health side of things it was so ridiculously fattening that I now feel a tad sick. I think I overdid it by making two of them (in an effort to use up more of the leftover grease) and now my arteries are going to be paying for it.

My only solution is that I shall have to exercise a lot today to work off all those extra calories I just consumed.

So my advice for other men (or women) out there is that if you are tempted to try making a grilled cheese sandwich using leftover bacon grease is JUST MAKE ONE! No need to overdo it!

I realize that men often overestimate what we can eat, even when we feel like we are starving. ie. "I could eat a horse!" But we really need to cutback on unnecessary calories when we really don't need them.

Just because we can eat that much doesn't mean we should.

:p

Cowboy Hats at Work

2011-04-19T13:58:00.001-07:00

FASHION - There is nothing manlier than a cowboy hat. At least insofar as men's hats are concerned.

Cowboy hats are manly, adventurous, heroic, rugged, have that can-do mentality, honest, hard working... Whats not to love?

When you imagine someone wearing a cowboy hat its usually a man, an actual cowboy perhaps, and if not you're thinking of a construction worker, or a lumberjack, or something equally masculine. You think leather and sweat (and occasionally Marlboro cigarettes), the kind of rugged manliness that you expect of such men.

Lets say for example you hire a handyman to install commercial roofing or metal panels on your shed, barn, garage or whatever you happen to be building/renovating. Its not hard to imagine such a man showing up driving a pickup truck and wearing (oh my) a cowboy hat. (I was tempted to say motorcycle too, but they really should be wearing a helmet instead.)

And there is no shortage of cowboy hat styles for me to choose from.

True, women can wear cowboy hats too... but the topic of cowgirls should really be covered in a different blog post because that is a specific type of tomboy... or at very least, a different kind of woman who is more adventurous.

I think however that the cowboy hat is seeing a revival. Perhaps because it is so manly and adventurous. I am not the only one who thinks this either. See Cowboy Hats Back in Fashion.

I predict that during this summer and summers to come more people will begin wearing cowboy hats simply as a fashion statement, to "keep the sun and rain off", and be doing all sorts of non-cowboy-esque activities whilst doing so.

While hiking in the woods, camping, visiting your Muskoka cottage (<- Check out the outrageous price on that cottage!), going to the beach, attending baseball games and football games... and day-to-day activities like shopping or running errands around town, using printable coupons, opening the doors for old people, going on dates, business meetings, picking up the kids from school...

Or going to the movies, in which case you should take your hat off inside the theatre...

Cowboys and Aliens

Rango

Meek's Cutoff

And in 2013 The Dark Tower: The Gunslinger (by Stephen King) is coming out, the first part of The Dark Tower series. Stephen King is currently penning an 8th novel in the series, and there is also a comic books series and a novella in the works.

And if you can't wait, you could also go see those films which are already out...

Including

True Grit

The Warrior's Way (which really should be called "Cowboys Vs Ninjas")

Gunless

Jonah Hex (for those of you who like Steampunk)

The Last Rites of Ransom Pride

6 Guns

Funny how Westerns are almost always about revenge.

Amusing Cartoons

2011-04-19T13:31:00.000-07:00

ENTERTAINMENT - The first cartoon here is by XKCD. The 2nd set of photos was sent to me by a friend. :)

NOTES: Technically Netanyahu is Israel's Prime Minister (Israel is more democratic and doesn't need a president). And in case you were wondering Sarkozy's wife is supermodel Carla Bruni.

Valentine's Day at Work

2011-02-14T09:47:00.000-08:00

SEX - Valentine's Day dates back to the Christian martyr Saint Valentine (or Valentinus). His life and death had nothing to do with love however. Valentinus tried to convert the Emperor of Rome to Christianity and was sentenced to death. He was beaten with clubs, stoned and then beheaded outside the Flaminian Gate in Rome.

Very little is actually known about Valentinus in terms of historical fact.

The concept of celebrating Valentine's Day didn't become popular until Geoffrey Chaucer who promoted the idea of courtly love and romance. Chaucer and other bards of his era created many songs and stories promoting romantic love and propagated the myth of Valentine's Day into its modern celebration of romance.

Valentine's Day is actually a pretty busy for both couples and businesses.

Flower shops, chocolate sales, lingerie sales, etc.

But there are plenty of other things people could be doing on, before or after Valentine's Day if they're feeling romantic.

VALENTINE GIFT/ACTIVITY IDEAS

#1. Dance Classes

Some women go weak at the knees when it comes to dancing, but are too afraid to step on a dance floor in a club. Plus there are plenty of people who are simply afraid of the kind of drama, nonsense, drunkenness and even crime that goes on in modern dance clubs and want something more conventional, less formal and where they can actually learn and have fun. Thus dance classes sounds pretty romantic for most people, even if they have difficulty moving about / are embarrassed about it.

#2. Swimming Pools

Now obviously we can't all afford swimming pools, but swimming together has always been a very romantic thought. Heck, if you want a combination of things you can always just watch the film Dirty Dancing together.

I suppose if you actually had the money you could pull a Clark W. Griswold move and announce you are putting in a swimming pool.

#3. Romantic Artwork

Now this is a personal bias since I am an artist and I happen to paint romantic artwork occasionally, but whatever. I am going to guess that there is a fair amount of people out there who share my belief that artwork makes a great Valentine's Day gift.

Of course there might be men (and even women) out there who are more turned on by power tools and the sounds of heavy machinery in the background.

So if you're the type of person who gets turned on by rigid foam insulation (pun deliberate), wall systems or new patio furniture... well then you don't really need Valentine's Day to feel romantic, do you? You probably get turned on just by hearing the ice cream truck and then start making all sorts of crude jokes about cream.

Or maybe you're a green oriented environmentalist? For all we know you might get turned on by solar power hardware (again, pun deliberate) and solar power Ontario MicroFIT programs and solar manufacturing software.

Or maybe you're a vegan? In which case I recommend beautiful-vegan.com.

I think part of the problem with Valentine's Day is that it sometimes sneaks up on people and they forget what day it is. Same with Groundhog Day and Pancake Day, they come and go so quickly sometimes that you forget about them. February just isn't as well known for holidays as October, December or April are. After all you don't even the day off...

So as men today rush out to buy gifts at the last minute many of them will be going straight to the lingerie store first. (Although seriously, the flower shop probably runs out of supplies faster.)

According to our research the big thing in 2011 is vintage lingerie, so things like push-up bras, suspender garter belts, waist cinchers and pin-up stockings with respect to fashion. Blame Mad Men and the recent upshot of interest in retrofuturism / Steampunk.

And don't forget jewelry, another hot item during Valentine's Day, despite gold prices being more than $1,300 per ounce. And perfume... although seriously, you must be running out of ideas if you buy a girl perfume.

In 2009 Canada's Valentine’s Day floriculture sales (before expenses) was $1.44 billion. Figures for 2010 aren't available yet because not all the shops from 2010 have submitted their income tax info yet.

Cosmetic surgeons, dentists, marriage counsellors, online dating services, even divorce lawyers all report an increase in activity on, before or after Valentine's Day.

But the one I really want to talk about is private investigators.

Apparently Valentine's Day is the busiest day of the year for PIs (business goes up 150% above normal according to one source), due to the number of people cheating on Valentine's Day. Spouses get suspicious, they start thinking of divorce, they hire a PI, and then the next thing you know they're headed to the divorce lawyer.

For fun, go watch Burn After Reading too. Spoiler alert! The bits about the divorce lawyer and private investigators are quite funny.

It makes me wonder what the statistics are for the number of divorces that happen in the months AFTER Valentine's. I mean first you find out they are cheating on you, then you hire a marriage counsellor, then you agree to the divorce, then you have to hire a real estate agent, and a home stager because neither of you wants to live in the house together, and then voila... finally the sale of the house, the division of the spoils of love and war, and its over.

Meanwhile in the United States... Americans are planning to spend an average of $116.21 USD on Valentine's Day, up 11% from last year’s $103 (a sure sign of economic recovery if I ever saw one). [Source: National Retail Federation]

Total Valentine's Day spending is expected to reach $15.7 billion, up from $14.1 billion in 2010, but still lower than pre-recession levels.

In order of significance (2011 polls):

Greeting cards: 52.1%
Jewelry: 17.3% (up from 15.5% in 2010)
Florist: 16.8%

Its difficult to track how much people spend on clothing, flowers, candy etc because prices can vary wildly and could cover everything from cinnamon hearts to red hats.

Interesting fact! Men spend roughly double what women spend on Valentine's. The average man spends $158.71 whereas the average woman spends $75.79.

And oddly enough women are more likely to spend their amount on personal things, like hair salons and grooming.

The age difference is also a big deal. Adults 25 to 34 will spend an average of $189.97 USD, compared to the $60.22 USD that adults 65 and older will spend.

30% of couples are planning to dine out tonight.

$9.3 billion is the expected amount of Valentine’s Day gift spending (not including dinner, transportation, etc) on partners today.

$681 million Valentine’s gift spending on pets (a surprising number of people buy things for their pets today... loneliness maybe?)

*Source: National Retail Federation

See my past post: Valentine's Day Primer

Single Dads at Work

2011-01-17T08:52:00.000-08:00

SEX - This article is about the dating life (or lack thereof) of single dads (it has nothing to do with the working habits of single fathers).

According to dating website eHarmony 70% of childless Canadian women seeking love decline to even consider a single father as a possible mate. Is it because they think single dads are damaged goods? Do they just hate children? Are they afraid of becoming a step-mother? Or do they just don't want to help raise what is quite likely a very nice kid, just because its not their own flesh and blood?

And there is actually quite a few single dads out there... all of them with limited love lives because of a combination of work, kid(s) to look after and possibly other obligations.

Some people argue women have an aversion to men with children because they are afraid they won't be the "only person in his life" because the child will require a lot of his attention. ie. the child will often come first.

But in contrast however many Canadian men are open to meeting single mothers. Practically competing with each other to meet them. Well, not exactly... but only 63% declined to meet single moms. That is a much better percentage.

NOTE: eHarmony considers people to be single parents, even if the child lives with someone else. That means that people with children could have their children living in another country or some place reasonably far away, and they would still be considered a parent (and a single one).

The problem is that even if the kid is far away is that people consider children to be extra baggage (as opposed to a perk) when it comes to dating.

ie. Last year I dated a woman who had a 4-year-old son here in Toronto. For me having him around us was troublesome at times (lack of privacy and his penchant for troublemaking), but overall I thoroughly enjoyed the experience and would do it again. I can't wait to be a father.

However on the upside I learned something about myself and my qualities as a possible future parent. Furthermore, dating a person with a child means you learn quickly what kind of person they are (how attentive, responsible, etc) and what kind of parent they will be if the two of you decide to have kids too.

“Watching a man parent his children pulls on my heart strings. The relationship I have with my father is a deeply loving and dynamic bond. To (see) relationships reflective of similar breadth and depth takes my breath away.” - Aubrie DeSylva, a 28-year-old Torontonian who has dated single dads.

If a man is 30 or older doesn't have kids, it raises concerns that he might be 'emotionally unavailable', have various relationship hangups, etc... as opposed to implying he was just cautious and used protection / dated girls with birth control pills.

Thus after the age of 35 if a man doesn't have kids, there might be something wrong with him... or maybe he's just been really cautious, which is a good thing. (Women should be able to tell which after they've bedded the guy.)

“If a prospective suitor in this age bracket doesn't have kids, there's usually a very, very, very good reason,” says Aubrie DeSylva.

According to Patti Henry, a psychotherapist and author of "The Emotionally Unavailable Man: A Blueprint for Healing" these are good signs when dating single dads:

#1. If he is protective of you meeting his children, like not wanting you to meet them until after 3 to 6 months.

#2. If he still hangs out with other adults and not his kids regularly.

#3. If he is wise with his children and still punishes them when they do something bad.

#4. If he doesn't spoil them rotten.

All good signs he could be a very good and loving partner, and not be beholden to his kids all the time. (The same good signs can also be applied to dating single mothers.)

“What these women fail to consider is that the act of fatherhood makes any man kinder, more patient, loving and far less selfish. We're just better guys and better partners for being dads. Why isn't that part of the equation?" - Mitch, a 39-year-old single dad.

Superbowl Commercials at Work

2010-11-19T17:31:00.000-08:00

ENTERTAINMENT - Seriously, don't actually watch these at work. You could be fired for the "gratuitous skin" that is typical of Superbowl commercials. Amusing though they are, its not recommended.

All commercials aside, nothing beats the amount of skin shown in Benny Benassi's music video "Satisfaction".

Saying Sorry at Work

2010-09-29T10:24:00.001-07:00

SEX - When it comes to saying sorry most men don't do it unless they actually think they've done something wrong.

And now we have scientific proof of what goes on inside a man's brain.

Researchers at the University of Waterloo have finally determined why your husband or boyfriend won’t apologize. It’s because men don’t think they've done anything wrong, whereas women think everything that everyone else does is untrustworthy or sketchy at best.

In the study by Waterloo psychologists Karina Schumann and Michael Ross they asked 66 people (33 women & 33 men) to keep track of how many times they apologized or said sorry for anything over a 12-day period.

What they discovered was that men and women both apologize about 80% of the time. And we're talking general apologies, like you bumped into them, stepped on their foot, etc... not necessarily the big traumatic apologies like "I'm sorry I got you pregnant five years ago!" or "I'm sorry I dropped the baby down the stairs and we had to take it to the hospital for surgery."

So men and women apologize equally as often... but the difference lies in the fact that women feel they apologized more often and felt that they caused more offence.

Men in contrast, even though they apologize just as often, felt they had caused less offence and that it wasn't that serious.

It should also be noted that both sexes apologized as graciously and just as effusively if they believed an apology was actually owed.

So there. The myth that men don't apologize has been busted. Men DO apologize just as often as women, but the difference is their perception about the seriousness of what they apologizing for.

Now we might chalk some of this down to the fragile male ego and why they don't think some things are that serious.

ie. Lets say a man and a woman are in the heat of the moment and he doesn't put on a condom until halfway through the sexual activity. The man later ejaculates into the safety of the condom, but in the morning the woman gets upset that they had unprotected sex. At the time she didn't fuss about it so he thought she wasn't that concerned about it. Turns out she was, so he apologizes, explaining that he didn't know it was such a big deal to her.

Now obviously a woman is going to take pregnancy a lot more seriously. Even the threat of it can send a woman into a panic (unless she wants kids).

In contrast the male response is "no harm done" and "what's the big deal?"

Perception is a tricky thing.

The Schumann & Ross study found that the "I'm Sorry" discrepancy was “heightened” when it comes to romantic partnerships. Women perceived many more offences from their boyfriend/husband, than their husband/boyfriend perceived from them. We might be able to draw the conclusion that women are more picky, but there's no proof of that. All we know is that women perceive the things men do as wrong and are more insistent that those perceived wrongs should be apologized for.

ie. When I was 18 I went out with a girl (Kristin Greniaus) and she cut the date short early on because apparently I didn't compliment her on her dress and her hair enough. Please note that I did compliment her, but apparently it wasn't enough of a compliment... Go figure. She had apparently put a lot of effort into her hair and the dress and even though I did compliment her she believed the compliment wasn't particularly special. (Personal Note: I sent Kristin a message on Facebook informing her of this blog post. I hope she doesn't mind me using her as an example. I've told this story to hundreds of people because it epitomizes the whole ridiculousness of relationships.)

The researchers give us the following advice:

“(T)hese discrepant perceptions might have unfortunate consequences for mixed-gender interactions.”

Which basically is code for men to apologize even when they don't think they've done anything wrong.

As fragile as male egos go, if you really want to maintain the cohesiveness of the relationship, its worth it to assuage the female's perception of a wrong by giving the apology even if you don't think its worth an apology.

HOWEVER!

Sometimes (and many men will attest to this fact) sometimes women demand an apology and don't tell men what they've done wrong... this apologize-or-else ultimatum is combined quite subtly (and is very childish) with the refusal to tell the man what they have done wrong.

"If you don't know what you've done wrong then maybe we should just break up."

Its one part silent treatment and one part ultimatum. (As proven in previous blog posts we've already determined that the silent treatment is a childish methodology which ultimately damages relationships and causes unnecessary stress. See Being Wishy Washy at Work.)

“Apologies go a long way in promoting forgiveness and relationship well-being,” says Schumann. “So if people think a partner isn’t apologizing for selfish reasons or they don’t want to admit they’re wrong, it really does make the initial offence worse.”

In other words the perceived wrong isn't the real issue here... its the perception that the male won't apologize, even if its a minor thing not worthy of an apology.

ie. The male forgets to take out the garbage + The male won’t apologize for forgetting = The male committed murder and must be punished.

So in other words males should just apologize all the time?

“Ummmm. Ahhhhh,” says Schumann. “Don’t put words in my mouth . . . If they find that their female partner is upset with them, they should inquire as to why, instead of brushing it off as the woman being overly emotional. They should also accept that their partner has a different experience of the event.”

So yeah... the basic concept is that you should listen carefully, apologize and hopefully the female will later realize it wasn't the male's fault in the first place.

So why does this happen?

It’s very scientific but here is the Coles notes version:

Women are emotional empaths and crave communication.

Men are hungry, sleepy or distracted and sometimes not in the mood for a big conversation.

Hopefully that wee bit of insight will help people in their relationships.

THE RULES at Work

2010-09-22T13:36:00.001-07:00

SEX - The following is a list of relationship rules (which you may have seen on t-shirts in the late 1990s). The list is humourous and not meant to be taken seriously, but if you have a funny bone its worth a laugh. I should note there are different versions of The Rules floating around, but this is the version I've chosen to show here.

THE RULES

1. The female always makes the rules.

2. The rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No male can possibly know all the rules.

4. If the female suspects the male knows all the rules, she must immediately change some or all of the rules.

5. The female is never wrong.

6. If the female is wrong, it is because of a flagrant misunderstanding which was a direct result of something the male did or said wrong.

7. If Rule 6 applies, the male must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstanding.

8. The female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The male must never change his mind without express written consent from the female.

10. The female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The male must remain calm at all times, unless the female wants him to be angry or upset.

12. The female must under no circumstances let the male know whether or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. Women have a better sense of direction than men. Accept it.

14. Shopping IS a spectator sport, and you are the lucky spectator. Accept this harsh reality, as will we when the roles reverse, say, at the local sporting goods store.

15. We already know what you are thinking. Sometimes we just need clarification.

16. Shorts and black socks with sandals is NOT sexy.

17. Towels dry faster when they are hung up on the towel rod, not crumpled on the floor.

18. Cut us some slack when we ask you questions about how sports, cars, etc. Consider it your civic duty to help us learn.

19. Finally, don't show us where the oil goes, or the washer fluid, or even how to fix a car. YOU DO IT. This is one of the many reasons we are with you.

20. When in doubt ask the woman. But don't expect a straight answer.

:)

Editor's Note: A man could dedicate his entire life to trying to understand women and never come close to fully understanding how they think (especially when hormones are involved)... in theory we would better success if we met a woman who is seeking to understand men and then we would need an honest and truthful debate about what's going in our brains.

Sometimes trying to get people onto the same mental wavelength is like two teams digging a tunnel under a river. In theory they'd meet in the middle, but only if they properly communicated which direction and angle they were digging both sides of the tunnel.

Its not a perfect system, but communication makes a big difference.

Beer Goggles at Work

2010-08-21T18:12:00.000-07:00

ENTERTAINMENT/SEX - According to Professor Lewis Halsey and two colleagues from Roehampton University they've discovered that "Beer Goggles" doesn't just impair one's judgement, but also effects our sense of beauty.

The trio interviewed a long list of students visiting a local pub near the university and did a series of tests by showing them photos of people to see if they could tell the images had been altered to make them less symmetrical.

Symmetry is considered to be an important aspect of what makes a person beautiful. After dividing the people into two groups (drunk vs non-drunk) using a breathalyzer they determined that drunk people are unable to differentiate assymetry.

Thus "Beer Goggles" really does make people around you look more attractive, at least as far as your brain is concerned.

Tracking the results the researchers also discovered women are more prone to losing their sense of assymetry. Not because they get drunk easier, oh no, its because men pay more attention to appearance... or more precisely, men leer at women and are checking out their breasts/etc in detail.

In which case leering may actually be an evolutionary skill designed to pick out women which are more symmetrical and healthy looking. Whoddathunkit?

Breadwinning & Cheating at Work

2010-08-19T17:33:00.000-07:00

SEX - According to new research was recently presented at the American Sociological Association...

Spouses that are financially dependent on their spouse are more likely to cheat, and this is the same regardless of whether they are male or female.

This flies in face of the belief (now proven false) that if someone is financially dependent they will be more faithful. This is actually the opposite. Feeling dependent on someone causes depression and people naturally end up looking for someone else to be their new soulmate, someone with whom they are on a more equal footing.

According to the report people often need an ego boost and an extramarital affair (a big secret) often feels like an ego boost (at least in the beginning). The report doesn't go into detail about what happens after the affair is over, whether the cheater ever confesses and what repercussions occur.

The report, titled "The Effect of Relative Income Disparity on Infidelity for Men and Women", is by Christin Munsch a sociology Ph.D. student at Cornell University and tracks 18 to 28 year old married or common-law couples who were together for more than a year. The report also takes into account and compensates for issues of age, education level, income, religious attendance and relationship satisfaction.

Apparently men are especially vulnerable to infidelity because they traditionally fit the role of breadwinner and when the wife or girlfriend makes more than they do it sparks feelings of inadequacy.

Measurement wise men who are 100% dependent on the women's income are 5 times more likely to cheat.

However this is another factor this report ignores... its called more free time = more time available to cheat. A wife who works 9 to 5 means the husband has plenty of time to cheat in the morning and afternoon.

The reverse is also true however... men who make significantly more than their female counterparts are also more likely to cheat.

The only time men aren't likely to cheat is when their partners make roughly the same or 75% of their incomes.

However this doesn't mean women should be discouraged from pursuing higher paying jobs and careers. If anything this discourages both men and women from chasing after the higher paying jobs because they are both more likely to cheat (and likewise their spouses are more likely to cheat) when there is a huge gap in their salaries.

The good news is that cheaters' wandering eyes stop wandering so much as they age. They might still be looking, but they're not acting on their sexual impulses as much as they did when they were younger.

On a personal note I believe a couple, any couple, should be obsessed with each other. They wouldn't even think of cheating because they are so utterly obsessed and in love with the other person.

Furthermore, it has to be mutual. You can't have one person obsessed with the other, doting on them, bestoying affection and romantic gestures all the time, because then the other person who isn't obsessed and in love feels like they're being smothered and begins to find all the attention annoying.

Its much better to be obsessed and lovey-dovey with each other, because at least then you're only annoying other people who have to endure the public displays of affection and not the ones you care about.

"If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife." - Ann Landers.

Disciplining Your Kids at Work

2010-08-13T09:40:00.000-07:00

HEALTH - I've put this under "health" because frankly good discipline is a mental health issue, plus knowing how to properly discipline your children without hurting them is certainly a health matter too.

There is essentially 5 levels of how to discipline your children. Some of them are more controversial than others, and the bottom two are basically illegal.

1. Minimalist / Anti-Discipline

Some parents don't like to discipline their children. They basically let their children run wild and only attempt to discipline them when they do something really bad. The problem with these parents is they've adopted a pacifist approach to discipline, so their methodology is things like "no dessert", "go stand in the corner", "no TV", "no computer", "no phone or cellphone", etc. Another problem these parents face however is children who cry, whine and act up until they get what they want. Such parents have a strong tendency to flip flop and renege on their punishment... sometimes even REWARDING bad behaviour by later offering to buy the kid a new toy just to get them to stop crying.

2. Pro-Discipline

These parents are no nonsense when it comes to discipline. They punish their kids, ground them, take things/privileges away and they refuse to back down on the issue. Their results may vary depending on the parent and the methodology, but at least they're not being wishy-washing and then rewarding the kid for bad behaviour.

3. Pro-Spanking & Ear Tugging

Spanking or ear tugging your child is perfectly legal. The exact wording of local laws may vary (and this may not be allowed in certain European countries), but in North America all parents have the right to spank or tug the ears of their children when they misbehave. Brazil and several South American countries have also outlawed spanking. Spanking and ear-tugging causes no damage, only light bruising which fades very quickly. The biggest aspect of this form of punishment is that its more about humiliation and embarrassment. The child will be embarrassed by the spanking and will think twice before doing activities that might induce another embarrassment.

4. Legal Grey Zone

This could be anything really. "Cruel and unusual punishment" could for example be forcing the kid to apologize to all the neighbours they had wronged and atoning for their misdeeds. But it could also be forms of physical punishment / work which we normally don't think of... ie. Having to chop wood for the woodstove for 3 hours before being allowed to eat; 200+ pushups; etc... some of these get into areas which most people would consider to be abuse and parental neglect. Twisting a child's arm for example on purpose would be crossing the line.

5. Out Right Illegal

Beating up the child, starving them, forced isolation, serious physical harm and then covering up the injuries with stories of falling down the stairs, etc. It doesn't take a lawyer to figure out these are going overboard.

Conclusions: Now evidently options #2 and #3 are the best ones and parents might even use the "cruel and unusual punishment" part of #4 if the situation warrants an unusual punishment. ie. You probably won't spank your teenager, but you might confiscate their cellphone and cut off their internet for the whole summer when they're caught gambling online... combined with forcing them to help out at a homeless shelter until they realize the road gambling can sometimes lead to.

The end goal is not to enact revenge on your child, but to encourage them through positive and negative reinforcement that certain types of behaviour will not be tolerated especially as they get older. As parents we have a responsibility to discipline our children so they don't grow up and turn into psychos because of parental neglect. Children can get into all sorts of trouble if allowed to run amok, raising children who eventually as adults run amok is a sure sign that the parents failed in their duty to properly discipline their kids.

DISCLAIMER TO YUPPIES: You may think you're doing your child a favour by not disciplining them or "sparing the rod and spoiling the child", but in reality you are doing them and the rest of society a disservice by raising someone who will ultimately be spoiled rotten.

Ouch that hurts

2010-08-03T20:10:00.000-07:00

SEX - Oh the pain, oh the pain!

Helen Gurley Brown at Work

2010-07-17T23:13:00.001-07:00

FASHION/FEMINISM - Helen Gurley Brown became the editor of Cosmopolitan magazine in 1965 and quickly changed the magazine into one that was just for women (from 1886 to 1864 it had been a more family oriented magazine).

But that is not all she did. As a sexually liberated single woman Helen Gurley Brown also brought to the magazine her own manifesto of what she thought women should behave like. In a word, golddiggers.

In her best-selling book "Sex and the Single Girl" and 8 other books that followed Helen Gurley Brown perpetuated her belief that women could have it all, namely "love, sex, and money" by simply playing the role of a woman who attracts and snares men, and then controls them using sex in an effort to gain money and power.

And when you're done with them, men are disposable and easily replaced.

This obviously comes from a woman who wasn't worried about losing her good looks.

It should be noted that many notable feminists of the time, including Betty Friedan and Germaine Greer, did not support Gurley Brown's manifesto of controlling men through sex. Gurley Brown's concepts which focused on fashion, beauty, fame and using men for sex/money were arguably a step backwards in the women's liberation movement because it promoted the idea that women should behave like tramps and sluts, but only if they're getting a lot of money.

Helen Gurley Brown continued on as editor-in-chief until 1997. She is still alive currently.

But during her 32 years in control of one of the most influential women's magazines in the United States Helen Gurley Brown managed to sway quite a few young women (the Cosmo Girl / Sex and the City generation) to her cause.

While she did claim love was a factor in her philosophy (she married movie producer David Brown in 1959) they never had any children, instead enjoying the wealthy life with no kids to worry about... but lets just test Google and see how many hits for the word love comes up on cosmopolitan.com... 11,400

12,800 hits for the word "sex".

11,800 hits for the word "guy".

2,980 hits for the word "boyfriend".

681 hits for the word "husband".

So apparently husbands aren't high on the list of priorities. Guys are okay, but guys are disposable. And love is slightly less popular than sex. (The actual "love articles" are really more about "making love" than actual romantic love.

3,420 hits for the word "romance".

Heck, lets have some more fun with this...

6,860 hits for the word "hair".

6,570 hits for the word "fashion".

3,860 hits for the words "kama sutra".

501 hits for the word "cheating" (the top articles that came up were "How to Tell if a Guy Is Cheating", "Stop Him From Cheating" and "Is Cheating Always Wrong?").

478 hits for the words "paris hilton".

413 hits for the word "marriage".

So apparently Paris Hilton is moderately less important than husbands, and approx. 15% more popular than marriage. Yeah, I think we get the picture here.

Cosmopolitan... the magazine for slutty golddiggers who don't like marriage but are just marginally better than prostitutes because they pick and choose which rich guys they want to seduce. Its completely unrealistic too (men with good looks and wealth are hard to come by and if you do they are either a: already taken or b: likely to cheat). And women wonder why men get upset about such women and call them b*tches or worse.

You see men are sensitive creatures. We may not like to admit it, but we're very self-conscious about it. We want to be loved like any other human being... but when someone is used and abused by someone they thought (or hoped) might love them, the shock and pain of such betrayal is to be expected.

Yes, the modern Cosmo magazine has helped women feel more sexually liberated, we will give Helen Gurley Brown some of the credit for that. But at what cost? This concept of hunting rich men and then using them for their money is just plain ethically wrong.

If you want money go out and earn it like a regular person. Feminists didn't fight for equality so women could sponge off rich men. They wanted to stand on their own two feet. Gurley Brown's philosophy is a throw back to Parisian courtesans, which some people may romanticize, but in reality were closer to upper-class prostitutes.

Where is the love in using someone like that? Love in such a scenario becomes a tool, a weakness which the woman can exploit and use to her advantage.

If a man did such a thing women would be up in arms and asking for his head on a platter, but women who do it are being praised by Cosmopolitan... despite the fact that these scenarios usually end badly.

Remember Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton? Her affair with the president was more about his power than anything else. She wanted POWER over him and it blew up in her face (pun intended).

That is the Cosmo Girl in action. Such actions will always come back to haunt people.

Skinny Dipping and Nudity at Work

2010-07-17T17:16:00.000-07:00

ENTERTAINMENT/HEALTH - I must say everytime I do a post with the words "at Work" at the end I have to wonder what people are thinking... Obviously I am not talking about skinny dipping and nudity at work work... I am amazed everyone reading the blog has managed to figure this out on their own. You'd think there'd be one dumbass out there who doesn't make the connection.

Anywho, back to the main dish: Skinny Dipping.

For people who love to swim, skinny dipping is often the ultimate experience of freedom in the water... as long as its not infested with piranhas or crocodiles. Whether you consider swimming a form of exercise or a competitive sport, skinny dipping itself is really more of a recreational activity.

Last week Vancouver tried to set a Guinness World Record by having the largest group of people skinny dipping together... they failed, but the participants enjoyed it.

If you decide to go skinny dipping, either alone or with a friend, there is some general rules of thumb you should follow:

#1. The 200 Meter Rule

If you have neighbours or people that might notice try to stay at a distance of 200 meters or more. They won't be able to see anything of importance at that distance unless they're using binoculars (in which case I don't think they mind).

#2. Avoid Mosquitoes

Skinny dipping during the height of mosquitoe season is very unwise. The best time of the year is August when most of the mosquitoes are gone.

#3. The Boat, Canoe or Dock Solution

One solution for people who are shy is to swim on the far side of a dock, boat or canoe so the neighbours can't see you. Other solutions are to wait for dusk, swim really early in the morning, behind a rock outcropping, etc.

#4. Know the Laws

The Canadian Criminal Code forbids being “so clad as to offend against public decency.” As long as you take steps not to offend people or are around consenting people, then its no big deal.

Meanwhile toplessness is completely legal in Canada, for both men and women. So if you can't find the courage to swim nude, you can always go topless instead.

See Also
The Top Topless Beaches

The Old Spice Guy at Work

2010-07-14T21:36:00.001-07:00

FASHION - What woman (or man for that matter) doesn't like the Old Spice Guy in the following ads?

The last one is part of an Old Spice campaign on YouTube (there's hundreds of these small videos in response to twitter and Facebook comments) in an effort to create buzz. Frankly its working. Smart advertising = Good advertising.

Playboy and Profits at Work

2010-07-13T07:14:00.000-07:00

SEX - Playboy Magazine, a hallmark of men's magazines since 1953 isn't just about busty young women with typical dimensions of 36-24-36, Patrick Nagel artwork or cartoons... its also about politically and socially motivated articles, thought provoking ones. When Hugh Hefner started the magazine in the 1950s he wanted to change the world, but he needed to lure men in so they would (hopefully) read the articles in addition to gazing wistfully at the photos within.

In 1971 Playboy went public, becoming a publicly trading company on the stock market. At the height of the magazine's popularity in 1972 they sold 7.2 million copies of one issue.

As Hugh Hefner got older (he is now 84) his control over the company dwindled and the editorial articles started to change their direction. In recent years this has begun to bother him and he now wants control of his company back.

Announced this week is a $123 million USD offer to buy back all A and B class shares at $5.50 each, a premium of 30% more than they're actually worth right now and values Playboy at $185 million USD total. (Hefner currently owns only 33% of the company.)

In recent years Playboy's profits have been down anyway, largely due to internet competition. After all why go through the embarrassment of buying a magazine and then telling people "I read it for the articles!" when you could get the same photographs and thought-provoking articles on the internet?

Thus Playboy Enterprises Inc. has been slashing jobs in recent years and combining units. Profits are so low the company has lost more than $200 million in the last 2 years and had to reduce the guaranteed number of copies they would sell (the rate base to advertisers) to 1.5 million from its previous 2.6 million.

From 1989 to 2009 it was Christie Hefner (daughter of the founder) who had been serving as the CEO. Last year she was replaced by Scott Flanders who wanted to turn the company more into a brand management company (selling the logos of Playboy Bunny and other icons to movies and other entertainment venues). While that would certainly help boost Playboy's popularity and their profit numbers, it is doubtful it would be enough.

During the first 3 months of 2010 sales dropped 48% and revenue dropped 30%. Scott Flanders was downsizing the company and the slashing of jobs meant cuts to the editorials too.

So will Playboy (which includes cable TV channels) be sold back to Hugh Hefner who will hopefully pump new life into the aging icon? Possibly. At this point the company is a sinking ship.

My advice to Hugh Hefner: Buy it back, bring back the thought-provoking articles that made Playboy "The New Yorker" of men's magazines, and make the website "free" and subsidized by advertising instead of the current rate of $7.95/month if you sign up for a year. As websites go Playboy.com has become incredibly underrated... you can read all the articles, movies reviews, celebrity interviews, etc for free... but there's no archive of old articles and they're competing with other internet companies on the basis of porn, but still trying to promote themselves as a general men's magazine with lots of articles.

My point is the website would be more popular and more profitable if it was completely free and supported by advertising instead (and frankly Hugh Hefner is rich enough already). If Hefner claims complete ownership the company will cease to be about the profits. He can go back to his roots, luring in men and hopefully getting them to read something that will provoke their brains.

I also think part of Playboy's problem is that the women shown within are so ridiculously unattainable that most men now dismiss the magazine because they know its unrealistic. The women in Playboy are so... sterile and perfect they're just not real any more. The Playboy ideal of beauty has become so unattainable that its become a turn off.

See Also
Playboy at Work

Common Lies at Work

2010-07-11T09:38:00.000-07:00

SEX & RELATIONSHIPS - Ever been told a lie so often that you know its a lie?

Examples:

"My grandmother died."

"My dog ate my homework."

"My best friend broke up with her boyfriend so I have to console her."

When you (or someone else) uses one of the above lies so they can get out of something (ie. their homework) what they do is dilute the statement. After all, your grandmothers can only die twice... if you keep using that lie eventually people are going to catch you. Especially these days when people can check Facebook and find out pretty quickly if you were lying.

"Um, but you told me your grandmothers were both dead already..."

The "best friend who broke up with her boyfriend" lie is actually one that has been promoted by women's magazines (Cosmo, Teen, etc) as an excuse for women to get out of a date they've decided to cancel.

That particular lie has been promoted so much now that a lot of women are using it... and a lot of men are realizing they've just been lied to when they've heard it for the fourth or fifth time.

Other common lies:

"I have to wash my hair." or "I have to wash my car." (Possibly the lamest excuses ever.)

"I am really busy and don't have time to date right now." (So whats wrong with a raincheck?)

"I am seeing someone right now."

"I've decided to go back with my ex."

Etc. Pick up a women's magazine with headings like "Top Ten Ways to Cancel a Date" and you will find a whole list of lies that they're telling women to use. (Apparently they think men can't take the truth and that its better to just to lie to men.)

People who were actually sincere about wanting to see you again would be asking for a raincheck. So if you're the person cancelling but actually wanting to see them again, ask for a raincheck because it will show you are sincere.

If you're not then TELL THEM THE TRUTH. "I am just not that into you." or "I don't think you're my type." or "I didn't feel any physical/mental connection."

WE CAN TAKE THE TRUTH. Its far more upsetting to know we're being lied to.

Dick Riding Obama

2010-06-30T11:24:00.000-07:00

ENTERTAINMENT - I can't help but be addicted to the following video from the Boondocks Season 3 - Episode 1: "It's a Black President, Huey Freeman". Its just too funny.

If you haven't seen Boondocks yet, what is wrong with you? Boondocks, Metalocalypse and other 'manly' shows on Adult Swim feature social satire and a healthy dose of bouncy bosoms and gratuitous violence.

Riley's No Homo Rant

Tom Drops the Soap

What is interesting about the show's display of homophobia is that its done with an open embrace of gay culture and some (egad, I hate this term but I have to use it) tongue-in-cheek humour.

Hey Baby and Rohan at Work

2010-06-30T09:30:00.001-07:00

ENTERTAINMENT - "Hey Baby" is a violent video game in which women gamers play a woman walking home from work and is being hit on by men all the time... but in response to unsolicited catcalls and come-on-lines she runs around with machine gun killing people.

The problem with the game Hey Baby is that while it is commentary on the social situation many women face (and probably cathartic for some women who play it), I don't think the violence in the game and the killing of men actually interests most women.

True, the game is essentially a play on the violence in video games like Grand Theft Auto (wherein killing men, women and children is relatively common, as is looting their bodies afterwards) and contextually its an attempt by its video game designer to create a feminist statement... but its a rather poorly conceived statement and comes off as being "male-hating" and not very feminist.

To some extent the game is geared to attract media attention and controversy, but the game controls and response time is jerky at best. Its definitely a work in progress. (I admit trying to make a video game that appeals to feminists is a difficult task. This attempt is a bit crude and amateurish.)

In contrast "Rohan" is an entirely different game going in an opposite direction... its a bikini clad MMORPG where pretty young women go around killing monsters wearing only slightly more than Paris Hilton wears on a good day.

The similarity however is that both games have hot women killing things, but the difference is that men are more likely to be playing Rohan because apparently they'd rather watch computer-generated women than go out and meet the real thing.

Which might be good for real women, because it means less catcalls and pick-up-lines, but in reality I'd say its just another example of mass media distorting stereotypes of what women are vs. what men want them to be (which in this case appears to be scantily clad Playboy Bunnies).

Being Neighbourly at Work

2010-06-29T11:56:00.000-07:00

CANADA - Being neighbourly isn't just something you do when you're at home. Hopefully you do it all the time, but this isn't true for everyone.

I'd argue being neighbourly is good for business relationships...

And not being neighbourly, ie. behaving like a prick or a c#nt, is likely to be very bad for business.

Piss off the locals and you're likely to get a brick thrown through your store front window.

And frankly I think that goes for whether you are male or female. Piss off the locals and they have every right to call you a prick or a c#nt.

Lets take for example the building management of 565 Sherbourne which has decided to chop off bicycles belonging to locals, because apparently they only want residents parking their bicycles in front of the local Shoppers Drug Mart. (Chopping off bikes and stealing them isn't very neighbourly.)

When asked about this policy by concerned cyclists the business manager (who deserves to be called a c#nt) decided to become antagonistic and she declared that she's going to remove the bike racks entirely (and violate a city by-law which requires them to have 60 bicycle parking spots near the Shoppers Drug Mart).

The lesson learned here is that people, even if they don't live there, should always be neighbourly. If there's a need for something (ie. more bicycle racks) it makes sense that they should just add more (especially when its required by the city by-law) to accomodate both residents and locals who happen to be visiting the Shoppers Drug Mart.

Getting into a feud with locals is just plain bad for business, regardless of your sex.

See Also
Neighbourly and Politeness in Toronto
Parking, Parking and Biycle Parking

Putting the Man back in Romance

2010-06-11T12:55:00.000-07:00

ROMANCE - When was the last time time you bought your girlfriend or wife flowers? Or chocolates? Or jewelry?

Was it romantic? Or did it feel more like you're buying their affection?

Myself and many others would argue that "gifting" is the lowest form of romance. Unless you put actual thought into the gift, like a book or item that is truly MEANINGFUL, well then you're really just paying for the stereotypical gifts that men are expected to give women.

Now I am not suggesting you go out and buy Wilma a new bowling ball (like Fred Flintstone did in one episode, which was later pastiched by The Simpsons with a very similar plot). Or a set of golf clubs. Or some other supposedly masculine gift which could either backfire badly or be misconstrued as something else.

During the 1950s and 1960s washing machines, dryers and dishwashers were big gift items for husbands to give their wives. Part of it was the times, the explosion in family earnings and incomes so that they could afford such items (a TV set, a new '57 Chevy, a bomb shelter, etc) and another part of it may have been the need for greater efficiency... to say nothing of keeping up with the Jones family down the street.

Some people will argue both for and against the "grand gestures" method of romance. Hiring a string quartet and playing outside their apartment window, that sort of thing. Making a fool out of yourself may work for some women, but others believe its an act of desperation and... creepy. Thus grand gestures are considered risky and usually the result of a really big mistake.

According to romance surveys most men and women remember the little things. Holding hands, cuddling on the subway, falling asleep together on the couch while watching a movie, kissing in the rain, huddling under umbrellas... these things are more spontaneous and just happen naturally. The trick however is to recognize the opportunities when they arise to be romantic instead of just ignoring them... and at the same time remembering to not RUIN THE MOMENT.

Now what does this have to do with being manly...?

HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN

#1. Learn how to pull out a chair for a woman.

#2. Open doors for women, the elderly and children. Pretty much everyone.

#3. Learn how to help a woman into her coat.

#4. Practice good hygiene.

#5. Avoid swearing so much.

#6. Dress neatly, not slovenly. You can still wear your ripped jeans and your t-shirt that shows off your pecs, but try to wash them regularly. Leave the beer-hat at home. Avoid slouching or scratching your crotch.

#7. Be courteous and helpful, both to her and others. ie. Offer your seat to the pregnant woman on the subway or an elderly person.

#8. Avoid ogling other women. Its considered rude, both to the oglee and the woman you're with.

#9. Use restraint. If you must fart or belch try to do so discreetly and/or say excuse me. Avoid over drinking, smoking, shouting at people or behaving like a buffoon.

#10. Don't act like a braggart. Converse. Ask her opinion on items of interest. Try to avoid the history lesson, political lesson, etc. unless its something they actually show an interest in. DO NOT PREACH RELIGION. Avoid controversial topics until you know them better.

#11. Behave a bit like a bodyguard, but without being obvious about it. Remember the world is a more dangerous place for women and they're not all confident about walking home at night. Don't be pushy about it however.

#12. Stand up for her and support her rights. No need to get into fights, just voice your opinion that she must maintain her rights.

#13. Show your affection. Hand holding, hugs, kisses on cheeks, nose, forehead, hands, etc.

#14. Avoid talking down to her, treating her like an idiot. You may be older than her or have more education, but that is no excuse for behaving like a prick.

#15. Walk on the outside of the sidewalk (so she doesn't get splashed by cars/etc).

Portable Toilets at Work

2010-06-09T15:26:00.000-07:00

TECHNOLOGY - When was the last time you used a portable toilet? If you're lucky, the answer is never.

It should be noted there has been a lot of advancement in portable toilets... True, the basic plastic "porta potties" still exist, but there has been significant improvement in both the cleanliness and the technology used by companies that do portable toilets rentals.

#1. Running Water, Hot and Cold.

#2. Electricity, a Fan, Air Conditioning & Lights.

#3. A toilet that actually flushes (as opposed to the kind where is loud plop and possibly a splash upwards).

#4. More roomy.

#5. A folding table for changing baby diapers.

#6. Trash receptacles.

If you're familiar with the old plastic El Cheapo portable toilets you will know such things are luxuries.

After all, lets say you're having an outdoor wedding with a giant wedding tent. You don't really want your guests (or the bride!) having to use an El Cheapo plastic portable toilet. The same idea goes with any other kind of big event where the number of available toilets becomes an issue.

Men (and I know this for a fact) are not so worried about toilets as women are. If necessary a man will piss in the bushes when he needs to 'drain the snake'. For women however this is hardly acceptable.

And anyone with a sense of decency would likely refrain from doing so as well, unless absolutely DESPERATE to release their bowels.

If you're over 50 or part of the Baby Boomer generation you might remember having to use a traditional "Out House"... you know, a tiny room made of wood outside of the main house, built above a large hole in the ground. Drafty in the winter to say the least.

In the 21st century indoor plumbing is something we now take for granted, but there was a time approx. 50 years ago when Out Houses were still pretty popular. (Both of my parents can attest to this, having both been raised on farms which had Out Houses during the 1950s and 1960s.)

These days we have a lot more options with indoor toilets too. Heated seats for example. Auto-Flushing. Low Flow Toilets (bad idea in my opinion). "Smart Toilets" that can measure your body-fat ratio or measures the amount of sugar in your urine. A lid that automatically lifts when it senses a person is near. Musical toilets with 6 different soundtracks, including the sound of rushing water, birds chirping or Japanese harp music.

Blame the Japanese. They won't be happy until they've invented a Robotic Toilet which can get up and walk.

Luxury toilets (marble, leather, other exotic materials) is big business. Especially in Asia where many people still use "squat toilets" (which having tried them, are just plain disgusting). The squat toilets are relics now as the booming Asian economy leaps forward...

How about a scented toilet which releases a soothing smell whenever it is sat upon? I'd buy that. I know other people who would buy it too.

So obviously there is a lot of room to grow in terms of the technology available.

Toronto recently unveiled its new public 'pay' toilets... self cleaning and contain a whole list of amenities. They cost a mere 25 cents to use and the city plans to eventually have 20 such high-tech public toilets spread around the city in places which need them.

For your 25 cents you get:

1. 20 minutes, which is counted down with 3 audible warnings and a blinking light.
2. Wheelchair accessible and climate control.
3. A shower (this varies depending on the model).
4. Hot and cold water.
5. A nice clean toilet.

When the person exits, the unit seals itself and begins a cleaning cycle. A security system calls the authorities if people fail to exit after their 20 minutes is up.

The units are regularly maintained and service people check them 3 times / day.

Seattle, which has similar public toilets ran into problems because the free-of-charge units were being used by prostitutes and drug addicts, causing them to pull the plug on the program.

That isn't expected to happen here in Toronto... although couples using it for impromptu booty calls is certainly a possibility.

Now here's a funny thing... What kind of person decides "Hey, I'm going to design luxury toilets for a living!"...?

Most people would prefer a nice clean deskjob, one with a computer right? In terms of website design and web development Toronto has hundreds (if not thousands) of people designing websites, doing SEO work, online advertising, building databases, etc.

But I can bet there's less than a dozen Torontonians in the business of designing toilets. Or any other kind of bathroom utility item, like sinks, showers or bathtubs. We can guess why so few people are attracted to the field of designing toilets. Its just not as fun or as exciting as designing cars, motorcycles or even something simpler like a website.

Because for all your hard work its a thing people will sit their posterior on and do a #1 or a #2. Or both. Maybe they've had a case of diarrhea and it will be something even worse.

I could talk about the issue of potty training children, but I think that is all we have time for today. I shall leave that for another day. Toodles!

Sarah Jessica Parker's Ugliness at Work

2010-05-24T08:07:00.000-07:00

ENTERTAINMENT - What is ugly? What do we consider ugly? Is there a line that is crossed that becomes ugliness?

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" but you could argue so is ugliness.

So what then is Sarah Jessica Parker, one of the four stars of Sex and the City?

Is she ugly or beautiful?

Some people argue that she is hot. Others say she is ugly. Some even go so far as to say Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse. (And there is definitely some similarities.)

Obviously she's not "drop dead gorgeous". Perhaps on the skinny side of average would be more accurate. The wart (or whatever that thing is) on her chin isn't helping either. She could easily play the Wicked Witch of the West with ease.

I must admit she seems to have a two-face problem... sometimes she looks good, other times pretty disgusting. Its a bit like the Seinfeld episode with the woman who keeps going back and forth between beautiful and ugly depending on the lighting conditions.

There's also the episode of The Office where they argue whether Hillary Swank is hot or not. Evidently Hillary Swank also suffers from two-facedness.

I think in this case its a matter of makeup. Sarah Jessica Parker has become very reliant on makeup to make her look presentable. Not necessarily beautiful, because her face is so long and angular that you'd really have to like that look in the first place to appreciate her face.

Or do you?

Many of us have no doubt seen the Dove commercial by now which demonstrates the combined effects of hair/makeup, lighting and photoshop:

So in the case of Sarah Jessica Parker it is clear that makeup is her friend, but it really can do only so much for her. If anything she would be better off putting on an extra 20 lbs so her cheeks don't look so gaunt.

She does have a rather long face so in that respect she is undoubtably horse like.

But what if you like horses? They're a handsome beast. Majestic... it just doesn't work on the face of a woman that well. The long face, the droopy nose, that gauntness of her cheeks, that wart on her chin.

She's also super skinny and short. See Stuck Up Little Bitches at Work. You'll pardon me if I prefer a woman who has more meat, muscle and a healthy dose of body fat.

But for fans of Sex and the City however perhaps it is because she's imperfect that some fans like her so much. Her character is spunky, thoughtful and well acted. Nobody can say Sarah Jessica Parker can't act. She's an excellent actress.

But she's not beautiful. She's average. Just like the majority of us. And while our perceptions of beauty are continually distorted in the 21st century (no thanks to photoshop, Hollywood and the beauty industry) she's also more real.

Its the same reason why the beauty industry no longer hires models for their commercials as much as they used to... the focus these days is on hiring funny actresses based on their popularity. Its a two-prong effect: #1. Actresses look realistic and they're easier to work with on a commercial set because they have acting experience. So even though they're acting its perceived as being more real because its not an airbrushed supermodel. #2. The product benefits from the actress's popularity.

Take "Angela" from the popular TV show The Office: She isn't particularly attractive. She's just a skinny blonde known more for her hair and sour disposition... and yet here she is in Clairol Nice 'n Easy commercials.

Then there's the heroin chic look... skinny and gaunt Carre Otis used to look or any number of other so-called supermodels which the fashion industry claims is beautiful, but in reality they're 10 lbs away from being a skeletal corpse.

Call me a traditionalist but I'd prefer the Marilyn Monroe or Pam Grier look.

Veggie Burgers at Work - Yuck!

2010-05-21T07:29:00.000-07:00

HEALTH - I tried to eat a veggie burger yesterday but only managed to finish 75% of it... let me explain why.

I can't eat mushy foods. Foods like squash, scalloped potatoes, really runny mashed potatoes, anything with consistency of baby food... For whatever reason it provokes my gag reflex and makes me want to vomit.

I think it has something to do with bad memories of mushy foods and vomiting. Even vomit itself is mushy.

Thus my attempt yesterday, in order to please my vegetarian dinner partner, was nothing short of daring. Around the 72% mark my gag reflex was going nuts and the mushed up ingredients in the veggie burger patty was simply too much. I had to stop before I puked in front of 25 vegetarians, all presumably enjoying their restaurant meal.

I picked the Deluxe Veggie Burger off the menu because it was really the only thing that looked vaguely familiar.

I had tried to order a Caesar salad, but their version of Caesar salad came with a whole bunch of extra veggies on it that I didn't like. I tried speaking to the waitress about ordering a normal basic Caesar salad (you know, the kind with croutons on it) but she informed me they don't have croutons... WTF! How can you have a Caesar salad without croutons???

Nothing else on the menu looked edible to me. Even the Soup of the Day looked like a spicy mixture of veggies and vomit. (The soup was "Spicy Tomato w/Chipotle & Spinach".)

The name of the restaurant in question was Fresh. Presumably the ingredients were all fresh, but the menu left much to be desired. You can see their menu in PDF format and what it is essentially is a trial in vegetarian extravaganza, like they're trying really hard to impress you by tossing all sorts of weird combinations at you... so many vegetables mixed together that there is bound to be more the one vegetable in the mix the average person won't like.

Lets take that Spicy Tomato w/Chipotle & Spinach Soup of the Day for example... I hate spinach, I am disgusted by Chipotle and I can only tolerate tomato.

Even the protein shakes were enough to make my stomach queasy. The Swoosh Shake contains: peanut butter, dark cocoa, maple syrup, banana, soymilk, cinnamon + protein powder. Peanut butter in a milk shake? Mixed with banana and cinnamon? WTF.

Might as well be sticking ketchup on my ice cream because that is how disgusting it sounds. Or chocolate on my pizza. Or some other combo that just doesn't work.

I was raised in a farming community north of Kitchener. Almost everything is home grown or homemade or both. My parents regularly visit and bring me homemade jam, pies, potatoes they grew themselves, maple syrup from our neighbours' and even meat from the butcher shop several miles down the road. Nothing is grown in a "factory farm" and the community has a large and growing number of Mennonites (they breed like rabbits).

That said I am used to what I would call normal vegetables, fruits and grains. Corn, peas, beets, carrots, lettuce, peppers, oatmeal, apples, pears, etc.

The moment you start adding non-normal vegetables to the mix the combination of flavours mushed together is such that I do two things: 1. I worry if I can even swallow such a mushy combination. 2. The thought of the flavour combination boggles my brain.

ie. Avocado Smoothie: Avocado, banana, spinach, pure coconut water.

Spinach and banana and avocado? What stoned vegan pothead thought up that mixture? (That is not a joke, there have been a number of recent newspaper articles about chefs who smoke pot either at work or after work. "Everybody smokes dope after work," says Anthony Bourdain, an author and chef who made his name chronicling drugs in professional kitchens. "People you would never imagine.")

Seriously, I don't know how else to describe it. Vegan chefs must be high on something to be making such weird combinations. They've lost touch reality and their taste buds have gone so haywire that they're coming up with new ways to make normal people puke.

(Oh and by the way, I did a test on Yahoo! Answers. I am not the only one who gets nauseated by mushy foods. My mother for example can't chew gum because she doesn't like the texture. My uncle Duncan can't eat peanut butter because of the texture and the stickiness of it. Its apparently a quite normal gag reflex. I also posted the question to the TV show Dr Oz and am waiting for a response.)

Oh and there's one more thing I wanted to comment on... years ago vegetarians were pretty basic... but then along came vegans and they upped the ante by refusing milk, dairy or anything else made from animal. (And yet count the number of times their clothes contains wool, silk or leather.)

And then came the people who insist upon organic pesticide free food. (To be considered organic a farmer's field has to be pesticide free for 8 years and can't be downwind from any other farm which uses pesticides. Suffice to say it is very difficult for farmers to switch to becoming organic because they have to go through 8 years where their crop won't sell for as much, and farmers are already struggling to pay their bills.)

The problem with organic food however is that it relies more heavily on genetically modified plants. So now many veggie eaters insist that they won't buy food which is GMOD, but frankly good luck proving which is which.

The point I am getting at is this is a hugely slippery slope. First the vegetarianism, then veganism, then organic foods, then anti-GMOD. What is next? Food that is grown using green technology and no fossil fuels used to transport it?

I think that is coming. Seriously, the way the green movement is going I wouldn't be surprised if the super-vegans out there don't start insisting their food be hand planted and grown, no tractors or combines, it has to be grown in a local greenhouse using solar and wind power in a pest free environment.

And then once the food is grown it has to be transported by bicycle to the Uber-Vegan Store which runs on solar power. No dog sleds allowed because that would count as animal cruelty. No sailboats either because you might hurt some fish on the way.

Now I admit that sounds ridiculous, but I am willing to bet there are people out there who would start insisting on these things once they realized it was an option.

At some point practicality needs to kick in.

Ten years ago I met a girl in university who described herself as a practical vegetarian... she will eat meat, but only so it doesn't go to waste. She and other practical vegetarians believe it is more important that food is not wasted or thrown out. She doesn't worry whether her ice cream or salad dressing has some non-organic product in it. Her food doesn't have to be quote unquote organic and I presume she didn't worry whether it was genetically modified or not.

As an omnivore I am all about practicality and taste. I don't like wasting money on food that I won't enjoy. To me that is highly unethical to buy food, taste it and then throw it away because I didn't like it. Hence why I managed to eat 75% of the above mentioned veggie burger. I tried to stomach it as best as I could because it was $9. (It didn't even come with fries!!!)

In retrospect I should have gone down the street and paid $3.50 for a Polish sausage on a bun. And enjoyed every last bit of it, not letting a single bite go to waste.

I think I can safely say I will never become a vegetarian. Not just because I love meat and I am on a high protein diet to compliment my weightlifting regimen, but also because the vomit-inducing, holier-than-thou, impractical veggie eating lifestyle just isn't for me.

Its just too nauseating.

Freedom of Speech & Facebook at Work

2010-05-10T14:10:00.001-07:00

POLITICS - About a month ago the Fifth Estate (on the CBC) aired a documentary about Peter Nygard which showed the truth about his fashion empire, his history of bullying employees, and how his lawyers continue to bully them even after they no longer for him.

What the documentary missed was a NLC report which came out a week later which showed Nygard was also involved in human trafficking and slavery in the country of Jordan. In other words his reputation was quickly going from bad to worse.

Inspired by the documentary my friend started a Facebook group named "Boycotting Peter Nygard" and I was later enlisted to help promote it. With very little effort the group grew to over 200 people, including a number of ex-employees of Peter Nygard.

Today the Boycotting Peter Nygard Facebook group was removed from Facebook. According to Facebook it was because Peter Nygard's lawyers had made a complaint that the group was infringing on "intellectual property rights".

So... What about our freedom of speech? What about democracy? Why is Peter Nygard's reputation more important than the freedom of speech of 200+ people?

Peter Nygard has a huge list of allegations against him. Multiple rape allegations, which have all been dropped after his lawyers intimidated the women involved. Using sweatshop / slave labour in a pants factory in Jordan. Physically, emotionally and sexually abusing his workers in Canada, the USA and the Bahamas. Violating laws concerning the ethical treatment of workers. Human trafficking of workers. These things are well-documented by the CBC and the NLC. He's a complete and utter scumbag.

Now we can add stifling freedom of speech to the list... because apparently for billionaires like Peter Nygard its super easy to just delete websites that are boycotting you. You just throw money and lawyers at the problem.

I certainly don't recall selling my freedom of speech to the devil. It can be quite discouraging to realize that our efforts were momentarily in vain...

Except people are like cockroaches. Once we know the truth we just come back stronger and more determined than ever to voice our freedom of speech. You can delete our words on Facebook, but you can't delete our keyboards.

We will just write more and spread the word. Scumbags like Peter Nygard must be opposed by people with honesty and integrity.

Join the New Boycotting Peter Nygard's Brands Facebook Group.

Premature Ejaculation at Work

2010-05-05T11:21:00.000-07:00

SEX - You have to feel sorry for those men who can't last more than 2 minutes while having sex. Something is either wrong with them or they're in a rush for no apparent reason.

Some men (and I am proud to say I am one of them) can "get it on" for hours at a time. Endurance, stamina... its all good.

So to me its mindboggling that the "average man" can only have sex for 5 minutes before ejaculating. Because that means if there's other men like myself who can go for hours... there must be the reverse... men who can only last mere seconds.

Obviously in that case it can't be a matter of just being in a rush. No "wham bam thank you mam" in that scenario... these poor suckas can't hold it together long enough for the time it takes to brush your teeth.

But there is good news on the horizon. A new drug called Priligy, also known as dapoxetine, allows men to last approx. 3 times longer during intercourse. Clinical trials of Priligy involving men with a mean time of 0.9 minutes from penetration to ejaculation showed the drug increased time before orgasm by an average of three minutes.

Spokesperson Dr. Thom Van Every expects the drug to become as popular as Viagra and is ideal for men who orgasm within the first 2 minutes of penetration... aka sufferers of premature ejaculation.

Right now the pill is pretty expensive. It costs approx. $117 CDN (76 British pounds) to purchase on Lloydspharmacy.com's online drug store. The pill was only released and became available today, but already the company has thousands of applications.

“There’s a lot of pressure to be good in bed,” says Dr. Thom Van Every, who received heart-rending applications from men seeking online consultations, which are required before the drug can be prescribed. The men complained, “I worry that I can’t satisfy my partner” and “My previous relationship ended because of premature ejaculation.”

The drug in question is also an antidepressant, so it boosts self-confidence too. An useful thing in bed. It needs to be taken 2 to 3 hours before for it to become useful.

Although this is the first drug licensed as a treatment for premature ejaculation, doctors have long known that antidepressants can delay orgasm and have been prescribing them “off label” for years now.

Dapoxetine is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, similar to Zoloft and Prozac, which affect neurological functions. Doctors aren’t quite sure how they delay orgasm, but the effect is well-documented.

30% of men experience premature ejaculation, not all the time in most cases, but some of the time. Other recommended treatments include topical lotions containing anesthetic as well as condoms and special exercises.

Priligy is awaiting approval from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration and isn't available in Canada yet either.

Health Canada could not confirm whether it has received an application to license the drug.

I think (and this is purely my belief) that premature ejaculation is the result of lack of sexual confidence and control. If these poor men simply had more confidence in their abilities they'd be able to last longer. Knowing when to slow down a bit, take it easy, get more practice, enjoy some kama sutra positions would certainly help in my opinion.

Those exercises might be useful for regular or above average men too, those that want to last even longer. In which case that should make a lot more happy couples.

Control Premature Ejaculation with the Start/Stop Technique

Learning to control premature ejaculation without the use of drugs or desensitizers involves learning to read the signals your body is giving you, knowing when you are about to ejaculate, and pulling back from that point. The technique below is my variation on the common “start/stop technique”. Before you begin you should take some time to understand the basics of premature ejaculation, a bit about male sexual response, and what Kegel exercises are.

Time Required: The most important part of these exercises is to practice (daily if possible).

1.Use a stroking technique.
Begin masturbating by stroking your penis up and down. This is the best method for these exercises as it most closely approximates penetration. Don’t think about premature ejaculation or trying to last longer. Just pay attention to the physical sensations in your penis and pelvic area as your masturbating.

2.Try to notice the “tickling” sensation prior to ejaculation.
As you get close to ejaculation pay particular attention to the physical sensations in your body. Try to notice the “tickling” sensation that occurs just before you ejaculate. Once you know what that feeling is like, you can concentrate on the feelings that occur just before this stage, when it is still possible to stop ejaculation.

3.Get comfortable recognizing the “tickling” sensation.
Continue masturbating without trying to last longer or think of anything special. Just pay close attention to how your body feels as you become more excited, and to recognizing the “tickling” feelings. Do this for at least the next three times you masturbate. Don’t stop yourself from ejaculating, just try to recognize the “tickling” feeling, and the feeling in your body just before the tickling feeling.

4.Start and stop masturbating to learn control.
Once you can tell when the “tickling” sensation is going to come you’re ready to begin the exercises. Try to avoid fantasizing more than necessary, and don’t use lubricant or sex toys while doing these exercises (they’re great, but they’ll come later).

5.Begin stimulation while paying close attention to the physical sensations in your body.
Masturbate until you start to feel turned on and have an erection. Then stop the stimulation for at least 15 seconds and concentrate on the feelings of decreasing excitement in your body. Notice how your penis and pelvic area feel, and how that changes when you stop stimulation. Notice how the rest of your body feels.

6.Continue until you get close to the “tickling” sensation.
Begin to masturbate again, and continue to start and stop periodically until you feel you are getting as close to the “tickling” stage as possible. When you feel yourself getting close stop until you feel you are back in control. Some men find that doing and Kegel squeezes helps them get back in control.

7.Don't worry if you lose your erection.
You may lose your erection when you stop the stimulation, but just start again. You may need to use fantasy to get excited again, but once you're turned on, try to focus on your body. Bring yourself close to the tickling point three times. After this you can just masturbate until you ejaculate.

8.Pay close attention to your body, and repeat this exercise daily.
You may find it difficult to do these exercises at first. You may lose your erection, your mind may wander, you might get bored. But try to stay with it, and practice this daily. As you do, two things will happen. First, the length of time you have to wait to regain control will gradually decrease. Second, the length of time you can continue stimulation between stops will increase.

9.Visualize your sexual response.
Look at the diagram on this page which gives a visual representation of the start and stop technique. Each time you stop stimulating yourself try to picture your body responding as if on this graph.

10.Build up the number of times you stop.
Increase the number of times you stop stimulating yourself until you have reached six. Once you can do the entire exercise ( stimulating yourself just before the “tickling” point, stopping stimulation until you regain control, and then starting again) six times, begin to practice this daily.

11.Use a good lubricant.
Once you’re feeling confident with the exercises, and are able to stop six times, you can increase the stimulation, and the usefulness of the exercises by using a good oil or water based personal lubricant. Because this is only for masturbation, an oil based lubricant is fine to use (but not safe for use with condoms, and not recommended for use in vaginal penetration).

12.Using the lubricant to simulate penetration, start the exercise.
As before, stimulate yourself as closely as possible to the point of ejaculation and then stop until control is regained. Begin by stopping three times before going on to ejaculate, then gradually increase the number of stops to six per session.

13.Once you feel comfortable, include a partner.
If you are in a relationship, ultimately you need to bring your partner into the exercises. Don’t rush this, but once you feel confident with your ability to know when to stop and wait until you regain control, you can involve your partner in the exercises.

Tips:
1.Don’t ever try to stop ejaculation once it has begun. If you go past that point, just let yourself ejaculate.

2.Try to use fantasy only as much as you need to. Because of the starting and stopping, you might need it to get yourself aroused again, but once you are turned on, try to focus back on your body and how it feels.

3.If you usually masturbate by rubbing your pelvis against something, try to use a stroking method. For these exercises, this makes it easier. If you have to change your usual method for the exercises, take a few sessions to get comfortable with this new method.

4.Some men find Kegel exercises help them both by increasing their knowledge of their sexual response, but also the Kegel squeezing can return a feeling of control when you are approaching the point of no return.

5.As you go on to each new step you may find yourself losing some of the control you have developed. This will happen, but if you keep practicing you’ll continue to progress.

Stuck Up Little Bitches at Work

2010-04-25T19:21:00.000-07:00

ENTERTAINMENT - Please pardon my amusing choice of words for the title and the fact part of this post will sound like a movie and book review.

The movie is the 2008 film "Gran Torino" starring Clint Eastwood. I watched it earlier today and give it 5 stars out of 5 (and I'm a HARSH critic!).

The book is "Girls on the Edge: The four factors driving the new crisis for girls" by Dr. Leonard Sax, author, physician and psychologist. I haven't actually read the book, I am just going on a summary and some quotes provided by Toronto Star reporter Antonia Zerbisias in her article: Is Facebook behind today's girl crisis?

Now the reason why I use the words "stuck up little bitches" is for good reason. I am describing a particular kind of young woman, often a teenager, who is so naive about the world and stuck in their own little "cyberbubble" (Dr. Sax's words) that they are rude to other people and their end behaviour is that of a stuck up little bitch.

Lets start with the granddaughter in the film Gran Torino. In the clips below you will see how she is more worried about her cellphone than she is about hurting her grandfather's feelings. Then she takes it a step farther and starts coveting his car, the Gran Torino. You can practically see the grandfather's thoughts when he glares at her. His wife has just died and already the granddaughter is scheming what will happen when she loots the remains of his death.

Greedy relatives isn't really a modern concept. Its been around for as long as ownership laws and you could argue rude teenagers is pretty normal too.

Of course not all teenagers are rude, just like not all granddaughters are rude. I would hope the stereotypical "stuck up little bitch" is a rarity more than the norm.

They are certainly out there however and I am sure we all have memories of encountering a few. Arrogance is a factor, but its more than that. A person can be arrogant but still polite to people. This is a dreadful combination of arrogance, rudeness, a feeling of entitlement, a lack of empathy, greed and a lack of respect for everyone around them. They are spoiled rotten.

And I would argue there is a difference between young women who are spoiled rotten and young men who receive similar treatment from their parents. Females develop a sort of "Princess ego" as "Daddy's Little Girl" who can do no wrong, has been ridiculously sheltered and now expects the world to wait on them. (And gets upset when people don't go to extremes to please their fragile sense of entitlement.)

I believe people have to EARN respect by treating others with respect. If you're rude to someone the chances of other people being rude back greatly increases.

In our era of Girls Gone Wild however young women seem to have fallen prey to society's woes, rather than actually trying to do something different and better themselves, they are going along merrily with it.

A sad but unmeasurable number of young women these days are too focused on superficial qualities, beauty and their ability to attract a male. They spend more time taking photos and updating their Facebook photos than actually studying, doing homework, getting a part-time job and trying to make something of themselves. They're so self-indulged they ignore the chance to accomplish something.

According to Dr. Leonard Sax and his book (mentioned at the top) a proportion of 21st century teenagers are stuck in their own little "cyberbubble" where they ignore homework, text and chat 24/7, where t-shirts that say "SLUT"

That's skewing their self-image and their world view, believes.

“Most parents have no clue how kids are using Facebook,” says Dr. Sax. “The majority of boys are going on to look for photographs of girls they know and girls they don't know."

"Meanwhile, girls are intent on making the best possible photographs for their profile, presenting their brand, tweaking their photos to make themselves cuter than they are.”

Dr. Sax has written other books, including 2006's "Boys Adrift: The five factors driving the growing epidemic of unmotivated boys and underachieving young men".

So its not just young women who are at fault here. A lot of young men are so distracted sexually that they're ignoring their potential.

According to Dr. Sax: “The gender war is the ongoing and generally unproductive debate between people who tend to be politically conservative who think there's a boy crisis and people on the left who think there's a girl crisis. In fact, both boys and girls are disadvantaged, in different ways.”

Dr. Sax's advice in the book is the following: No private computer in their bedroom, no cellphones at the dinner table, no cellphones during family events (funeral, birthday parties, etc.) and encourage real-life networking with friends.

“It's not possible, it's not practical to say to parents don't let your kids have computers or cellphones. That's not going to happen. So the question is, how do you be a parent? I find that parents are unsure, uncertain and insecure about their authority.”

In other words stop spoiling your kids with techie crap. In fact stop spoiling them altogether.

When a child is spoiled they begin to feel they are entitled to things. They stop trying to earn things and the end result is a lack of motivation. They want other people to do their work for them.

But will parents just stop pandering to their kids? Doubtful. This is something that parents have to do early on, before the age of 4. Suddenly ceasing to spoil your kids will result in an emotional backlash.

So good luck with that.

The mass media isn't helping either. Everyday our kids, especially girls, are bombarded with advertisements which cause them to worry about their body image, their social status with friends and their sex life (often before they're emotionally ready for sex).

For the spoiled teen girl the temptation of sex comes with the perks of increased social status amongst other girls and the ability to gain the attention of boys. (Because teenage boys like sluts.) These naive young women aren't having sex because they're burning up with lust or feelings of love, they're doing it because they've recognized a desire to be accepted socially (although who can say when they have so many confusing hormones in their system).

Not all these hormone crazed teens are jumping off the deep end however. According to Dr. Sax many young women have learned to tune out the media assaults, to read between the lines and have become jaded against corporations trying to sell to teenagers. Dr. Sax's term for this is “corporatized.”

He also says boys have reacted slightly differently to the corporate media.

“More and more boys are developing an epicurean ability to enjoy themselves – to enjoy video games, pornography, food and sleep – but they often don't have the drive and motivation to succeed in the real world outside their bedroom,” writes Sax. “More and more of their sisters have that drive and motivation in abundance – but they don't know how to relax, how to have fun and enjoy life. For many of these girls, each accomplishment is only a stepping stone to the next goal.”

That is until reality gets in the way and Miss Smartest or Miss Prettiest at the High School finds herself Miss Nobody at university, says Dr. Sax.

“These girls are having a great time as long as everything goes their way,” he says. “But when they don't get what they want, because things don't turn out the way they expect, because they are not as smart as they think they are. They need to have an inner spirit so that they can get through that dark night of the soul. More and more girls don't have that – and they don't see the problem.”

The girls who are so spoiled they can't handle the stress of the real world become depressed – and may struggle with depression for the rest of their lives according to Dr. Sax.

Dr. Sax is also worried because girls “are getting older younger.” They are dressing slutty at a younger age, they are having sex too soon and they're growing up too fast during a time period in their lives where they are very impressionable.

There are no facts and statistics to back much of these observations, Dr. Sax admits, because nobody was keeping statistics 50 years ago on these things. Its very much a new field of study.

Dr. Sax blames various other modern societal woes that are hurting young women, but he also admits its still better than the "good old days".

“There are no good old days for girls,” he acknowledges. “It is a sad fact of western civilization that every era has been sexist. They have valued the achievements of boys and men above the achievements of girls and women.”

So there is hope for the future. These "stuck up little bitches" are nothing new to society, only the technology is new. In the 1980s or earlier they would have been tying up the phone line gossiping or talking to boys, now they've moved the gossip to cellphone texting and Facebook. Parents would be well advised to stop coddling and spoiling their children and focus more on getting their kids to become high achievers.

Because if they earn it then they will deserve it.

Victoria Secret at Work

2010-04-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

FASHION - Victoria Secret is coming to Canada and Canadian men are no doubt happy about the good news... The lingerie company is set to open 4 Victoria Secret "pink superstores" during the Summer 2010 and 5 more stores by Christmas shopping season, resulting in 600 new full time jobs for Canadians.

Meanwhile sister company La Senza is moving 50 creative and merchandising jobs to Ohio + all their management positions will be moved to Ohio too. La Senza has 300 stores in Canada and is owned by the same company which owns Victoria Secret, so this is more of a market shift to support Canada's changing demographics.

La Senza markets to a younger (more teenager) crowd whereas Victoria Secret markets to women in the 25 to 35 age bracket. More full grown and busty essentially.

The thing about Victoria Secret is that its really more of softcore catalogue that its famous for. The kind of thing the Sears catalogue used to be ogled for. Prior to 2010 Canadian women had to order Victoria's Secret via the catalogue, phone or internet. Now they have the chance to actually visit the stores.

Which will no doubt be making quite a few married men and boyfriends happy.

As a guy I've always been willing to go with my girlfriend while she shops for lingerie. And I do it with a big SMILE on my face. :D

Some men however are dreadfully embarrassed to be seen in a lingerie store. Lingeriephobia or lineusphobia you might call it (lineus is the Latin word for linen). We can all take guesses as to the reasons why.

Its a bit like poor Raj from the popular TV show Big Bang Theory. He can't even TALK to women unless he's had alcohol. See video clip. In his case its gynophobia / selective mutism.

The point I am trying to get at is that its a strange paradox where men ogle the Victoria's Secret Catalogue in private, but are embarrassed to actually go in a lingerie store with the girlfriend/wife and browse.

I think it boils down to a lack of sexual confidence / fear of being seen as inadequate, even if its complete strangers looking at you.

Male Fashion Designers at Work

2010-04-09T19:32:00.001-07:00

FASHION - Why would a man go into the business of making women's clothing...? I'll give you a hint... men (generally speaking) like being around young female supermodels.

But this dubious reason doesn't stop there.

Lets take Canadian fashion designer Peter Nygard for example. He's now 67 years old and has wild playboy sex parties with his entourage of young women who follow him around.

Some as young as 16. Maybe younger.

Peter Nygard has also been the object of numerous lawsuits and alleged sexual abuse. No rape charges yet, his team of lawyers have always managed to silence the women who come forward alleging anything.

And those who can't be bought off are discredited, their lives ruins while Peter Nygard goes scot-free.

But isn't that the way of things? Especially with rich playboys?

Hot shot lawyers, he-said vs she-said and circumstantial evidence. But its one of those situations where when lots of people come forward with allegations and most of them get paid off because its true... you know it must be a fact.

Take Michael Jackson for example. Or the various Catholic priests who have been caught molesting choir boys. There's no doubt they abused children, but it is absolutely unbelievable how they continue to get away with it.

So when you see a man entering a field like "women's fashion"... what you have to do is step back and analyze the situation a bit. Why is this man doing this? Unless he secretly is a transvestite and wants to wear women's clothes, he's probably just a sexist pig looking to bed a whole bunch of young women.

67-year-old Peter Nygard sleeping with 16-year-old girls who want to be supermodels...? This is the kind of fellow who gives men in general a bad name.

Weapons at School and Work

2010-04-07T10:35:00.000-07:00

CANADA - In a recent incident a Brampton lawyer was stabbed outside a Sikh temple with a Kirpan ceremonial dagger. Sikh men wear Kirpan daggers to protect themselves from evil, it is a sacred weapon according to their religion and not meant to actually be used.

The Kirpan dagger has been getting more controversy in recent years, ever since a 12-year old boy in a Montreal school accidentally dropped his Kirpan and the school tried to take it away from him.

I bring this up because since the age of 11 or so I've been carrying a Swiss Army Knife with me at all times, attached to my keys. I've had several over the years and I need a replacement because my current one is getting dull and there is a ding on the blade. I carried it through high school, university, to various work places including government jobs... the only time I ever removed it from my pocket is when it and my keys went into my luggage for traveling on airplanes.

Now during that time period I've been in no less than 5 fights, 2 during primary school, 2 in high school, and 1 when a guy attacked me on the Toronto subway.

Not once in all five incidents did I take out my Swiss Army Knife. Honestly, I don't think it would be that good as a weapon. Given the option I prefer to use my fists. I have two of them and it just seems more practical.

For me the Swiss Army Knife is a tool. I've never needed to resort to using it as a weapon.

Teenagers are prone to fighting. They have to deal with bullies and there is a lot of anxiety about protecting themselves. Statistically however they rarely use weapons when fights are usually resolved with fists. (Only once in those five incidents was I ever attacked with a weapon, a broomstick from carpentry class.)

Chalk it up partly to Canada's obsession with hockey fighting, but Canadians just seem to prefer fisticuffs. Even when they have a hockey stick in hand, they throw it down, take off the gloves and go for the more basic weapon people have been using since before cavemen.

There are incidents of fights with weapons... everything from a hair pin to a bowling ball, and frankly I am curious as to whether such improvised weapons outnumber attacks with knives. It would stand to reason that when pressed people are more likely to pick up a rock, a stick or even a guitar case to fight with then they would to reach into their pocket and pull out a puny 2 - 8 inch knife (the same length as a Kirpan).

So while there may be incidents where people have tried using a Kirpan as a weapon, the recent attack on the Sikh lawyer (who easily survived) shows that its not a very effective weapon. The man who attacked him was charged with attempted murder and aggravated assault, showing he didn't even manage to run away or keep his identity hidden. (Its ever amazing how stupid criminals are.)

The Sikh lawyer attacked in the incident also wears a kirpan. He says this abuse of the dagger should not be used against the religion. “These people have used religious emotions and symbols to attack others. It does not mean all Sikhs are violent.”

He's right. People are more or less violent in general and they don't need a dagger to do it.

History has shown knife attacks are usually very brutal because a single stab wound doesn't kill someone. You have to be stabbed quite often or in vital locations for the wounds to become fatal. Michael Hill of Florida was stabbed in the brain with an 8 inch survival knife by an unknown assailant and still survived. (He currently holds the Guinness Record for the largest object removed from someone's brain and surviving.) In other incidents people have been stabbed over a hundred times and still lived.

Julius Caesar for example was stabbed 23 times, but only one of them actually hit a vital area in his chest according to a physician who later examined the body. An estimated 60 people mobbed him and were involved in the stabbing, including the infamous Brutus.

So whether its a ceremonial dagger or a tool people need to be aware knives don't hurt people, people hurt people. The knife isn't even an effective weapon. Its obsolete compared to the gun, which makes it super easy to kill someone.

A police night stick however... those things are just plain nasty!

If someone shows up at your door wielding a night stick, prepare to get your ass whupped.

See Also
Gun Control in Canada
Handguns in Canada

Bicycle Orgasms at Work

2010-04-05T22:26:00.000-07:00

SEX - Is bicycle orgasms an urban myth or not?

Some women can have orgasms doing the most mundane of tasks... some can even get off just by thinking about sex or exercising the appropriate muscles. Thus it stands to reason that theoretically a woman could have an orgasm while cycling.

But does it actually happen? Somehow I doubt it. Or if it does its extremely rare.

Let me take one proven urban myth as an example... Fan Death.

Fan Death is a superstition in South Korea wherein if you have a fan running in your room while you sleep at night and there is no window or door open, you will die from either asphixation or hypothermia.

This urban myth / superstition is so widely believed of in South Korea that all fans must be sold with a timer which automatically shuts it off and the South Korean government actively warns its citizens about the dangers of fan death. (All fans sold in Korea must be sold with a sticker on it warning them of the dangers of Fan Death.)

Koreans are so obsessed with fan death they've even come with a number of theories to explain the myth. ie. The fan creates a vortex which causes all the oxygen in the air to be sucked in together, depriving the person of needed oxygen. Other theories suggest the fan uses up all the oxygen or that it "chops up the oxygen".

Whenever South Korean police find a dead person in their bed and they can't determine the cause of death... they look to the fan. The fan is to blame. Thus the South Korean government has statistics showing the number of so-called "fan deaths" that have occurred because they never bother to do an autopsy and determine the real cause of death. (ie. the wife poisoned their tea)

Sounds ridiculous right? Foreigners to the country are rather mystified/amused by the fan death superstition because frankly its so mindbogglingly stupid its amazing anyone would be dumb enough to believe in it.

And yet many Koreans do believe in fan death, mostly because they've been raised with it and shown lots of statistics of dead people in their beds showing it does exist.

Its a bit like people being raised and told that their god exists. As long as nobody bothers to shatter that nice little illusion they will keep on believing in the idea because all the evidence they've been shown suggests its real. They're not about to question the validity of something when everything they've been shown or told suggests their god is real.

Thus, back to bicycle orgasms, as men we've been shown a lot about women anatomy, orgasms and what not... there's a lot of prevailing sexual mythology out there which may or may not be correct or completely false. We really don't have a clue. We are raised and told that women can be stimulated by almost anything between their legs so from our perspective it must be correct.

We can even come up with statistics for women who apparently can have orgasms while jogging, sitting on the subway or sitting on the clothes dryer... we have no idea if its even true, it could just be women bragging and pretending that they can to see if anyone will believe it, thus creating their own little myth.

(Its no wonder a lot of men think the G-spot is an urban myth... there's so much mythology surrounding it.)

So can a woman have an orgasm on a bicycle? Maybe. But can you prove it?

Saving Money at Work

2010-03-26T12:52:00.000-07:00

CANADA - I am thinking of getting a business phone for my Toronto website design business... The thing however is that I don't like the plans being offered by Bell, Rogers and other phone companies.

What I WANT is an unlimited calling plan for both local and long distance. And I want it relatively cheap. Frankly I think that is the future of telephones, but the companies are really dragging their feet at offering it.

But there is a way... Vonage (VOIP = Voice Over Internet Protocol) gives you a local phone number, but allows you to call locally and long distance and all you pay is $39.99/month.

If you sign up with Bell for a business plan its $54.95/month... and its NOT unlimited. You pay extra for calling long distance. What a rip off.

The whole premise for a business plan for phones is that you can claim it on your income tax. Frankly I firmly believe people are getting ripped off by charging companies double what home user pay for the same service. Its a complete rip off designed to gouge companies... in theory they get it back because they can claim it as a business expense, but really its just gouging.

My argument however is that Vonage/VOIP is a logical route to go, especially if you're running a business. And who is to say you can't just register it under the business name instead of the person's name? That way you can still use if for income tax purposes.

My next issue I want to talk about saving money via is home heating (in theory you could do this for an office, but you'd need to OWN the building instead of renting it)... the idea here is Geothermal Heating Systems which is a VERY cheap way to heat your home, but your first stumbling block is the price of installing geothermal. The startup cost may seem like a lot, but what you quickly realize is the price of running a geothermal fan (about $15/month) is way cheaper than running an oil or gas furnace for 6 months or so of the year (and running an air conditioner for the other 6 months or so).

The beauty of geothermal is that it can both heat and cool your house and dramatically reduce the costs of heating the place. My sister and her husband are currently having geothermal systems installed in both their house and their cottage up north (the other benefit of geothermal is its off the grid and ideal for cottages and cabins in the middle of nowhere and the fan for cycling the air can run off a car battery).

The point I am getting here is that people and businesses can make lots of cost-cutting measures, especially during a recession.

Lets say you own a company that has a lawn out front. In theory the cheapest way would be to pave over the grass and not worry about how stark and unfriendly the company looks. A better solution I think is to install a concrete logo in the grass or flower beds and then hire a local grass cutting company to cut the grass / do flower maintenance. (I also favour the idea of using moss / ivy / ground covering plants that require zero maintenance.)

That way you're outsourcing the lawn maintenance (less worry, less cost for the lawnmower, gas, paying an employee to do it) and better yet the logo looks really good for advertising purposes.

A bit like the logos shown here beside the Gardiner Expressway in Toronto.

Another idea I've learned about is for companies looking to give their employees a dental plan, but don't want to get charged an arm and a leg.

The solution is to cut out the middle man. You find a local Toronto dentist (or wherever you live) and then negotiate with them a bulk rate for your company employees, cutting out the dental insurance company as the middle man. This may sound bizarre, but it ends up working well for both the company and the dentist...

The only disadvantage is that all your employees have to go through the same dentist... if you consider that a disadvantage. If you pick a good quality dentist that everyone ends up liking it won't be a big deal.

Next lets imagine you're trying to save money when planning a big business conference, annual office picnic, wedding, Toronto party rentals or whatever. Usually in such scenarios its best to bundle these options. Get one company to do EVERYTHING for you under a budget. If there are any extras you want not listed under the bundle get those separately. Less stress, less money, done by professionals.

Looking to Save Money? See Also:
Buying a New Computer at Work
Wind Power at Work
Cheapness at Work
Car Options at Work

Joey Ratz at Work

2010-03-25T20:41:00.000-07:00

RELIGION - So Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (aka "Joey Ratz", aka Pope Benedict XVI) is involved in multiple child sex scandals... you see Ratzinger was basically judge and jury of the canonical trials from 1981 to 2005 before he became the Pope. And apparently while he was prelate in that position he ignored many cases of child sex abuse by priests and ordered investigations against those priests ended.

See Pope ignored molestation of children for details.

So for 25 years "Joey Ratz" was in charge of defrocking priests involved in sex scandals. How many priests did he defrock? The Catholic Church refuses to say, but I can hazard a guess... none.

You see here's what usually happens... when a sex scandal happens the Catholic Church's first priority is to cover it up. If that fails to work the priest is eventually asked to resign, which they do so. The "defrocking" of priests is extremely rare and I have a guess as to the reason...

Its called blackmail.

Sex scandals within the Catholic Church are so commonplace its a tad ridiculous. There has literally been hundreds of Catholic priests caught molesting children in the USA during the last decade. HUNDREDS, just in the United States.

And because its so commonplace its pretty much guaranteed that all the priests know what their comrade priests are up to. Backscratching, trading child porn, helping each other with cover ups, threatening children, swearing them to secrecy.

Thus when one priest gets caught all the other priests become mum on the issue, help to cover up the issue because if they don't they're afraid the priest who got caught will rat them out. The priesthood is more than just a brotherhood of Catholicism, its a brotherhood of blackmail, lies and perversion.

And at the top of the cover ups, in charge of them in fact, was Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, a man who has been in charge of investigating priests alleged of sex scandals for a period of 25 years.

That means that every cardinal involved in some kind of sex abuse during the 1981 to 2005 period was beholden to Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger... he knew ALL their dirty secrets. Thus when the 115 Cardinals met in 2005 to vote on a new Pope it wouldn't be a stretch to say quite a few of them could have been blackmailed by Cardinal Ratzinger into voting for him.

If you could call it much of a vote. The Financial Times in 2005 gave odds that Ratzinger was the favourite to win by a margin of 7-to-1.

Here's some odds for you... Did Joseph Ratzinger / Pope Benedict help to cover up sex scandals of priests while he was prelate? Yes. I'd give odds of a 100%. Was Ratzinger fairly elected as the Pope? Nope. Not even close.

The Catholic Church, for all its claims of heavenly influence, is nothing more than a den of liars and child sex abusers and Pope Benedict is the biggest one.

HSBC Eel Ad Vs the Polite British Man

2010-03-11T19:33:00.000-08:00

I just love this ad. No further comment is needed.

Buying a New Computer at Work

2010-03-07T15:23:00.000-08:00

TECHNOLOGY - I haven't bought a new computer in fives years. I haven't needed to buy one because in 2005 I bought a really sweet computer in South Korea with 2.4 Ghz, 80 GB hard drive, 512 RAM, etc, etc... and Windows XP.

OPERATING SYSTEMS

There are three main operating systems out there:

Windows : Produced by Microsoft, comes in various versions including XP, Vista, Windows7. The program is bloated and huge, new versions often have tonnes of glitches that haven't been removed yet and its waaaaay overpriced to buy a copy.

Apple OS : All Apple (Macintoshes or "Macs") come with the Apple Operating System. The most recent version is OS X. Macs have their own brand of glitches, even though fans of Apple will swear up and down that they don't get glitches I know from 9 years of experience using Macs in highschool and university that they DO get glitches, lag and have just as many problems as Windows.

Linux : I've never tried Linux but would like to try it sometime. The problem with Linux is what programs it can be used with... the advantage of Linux is that its very customizable (open source) and its designed to be more basic, faster and less glitchy. Simpler is better.

I opted for Windows7 because new computers are no longer compatible with Windows XP (waaaaaah!)... Vista is too bloated, Apple OS is overpriced and I want to learn more about Linux before I think about installing it...

What I wish there was is a "Windows Lite" platform which has all the basic functions a person could possibly want, none of the glitches large bloated programming has, is super fast and only installs what you need.

Google is still designing its own operating system known as Chrome OS and will be publicly available sometime later in 2010. The idea is to create an operating system which has the primary function of accessing the internet, playing music/videos, word processing, etc... no gaming. Its being specifically designed for netbooks.

Chrome OS is essentially a version of Linux, but unfortunately will only run on hardware that supports Chrome and is being specifically designed for netbooks. The idea is to create a laptop which anybody can use anywhere which requires less memory and hard drive space because its no where near as bloated as Windows or Apple OS.

Remember the $100 Laptop project from MIT?

Well the plan is for Google to come out with its own line up netbooks that run on Chrome OS for people who like to check their email, surf, play on Facebook, YouTube, etc. while on the go... all for super cheap... like $199.99 or so. (Google has yet to give precise prices.)

But that doesn't help me because I like to play games occassionally... and I need all my extra programs for my website design business.

HARDWARE

If you know anything about computers you know RAM stands for Random Access Memory, a hard drive is where you store things and computing speed is measured in Gigahertz (Ghz). Essentially you want a computer which is fast enough to support your needs. Companies vary in quality, but generally speaking you want something with a warranty so you know you can return if something isn't working the way it should.

If you're smart and capable you could build your own computer by buying the necessary parts (which is what I plan to do with my old computer tower)... but you'd better know exactly what you are doing because not all computer parts are compatible with each other.

Thats it. Make a budget, try to stick to it, consider all your needs, shop around and compare prices and don't forget to find a way to save all your old files so they can be backed up and saved on your new computer.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN & WOMEN

Men are stereotyped to be quite cheap, but they also want speed and power... but ultimately I think it depends both on the person and their individual needs. Some men are just plain braggarts who spend thousands of $$$ per year on the latest and best hardware, software, games and gadgets. Others are much more frugal and only buy what they need. Some women might be really into violent video games (this statistic is going up faster than you might think) and want a computer with a fabulous graphics card, memory and everything they need for their favourite game. Its all about balancing practicality, budget and your expectations.

Being Wishy Washy at Work

2010-02-22T08:35:00.000-08:00

SEX - If you've ever dated someone (and this is the same for both men & women) who is wishy washy and doesn't know what they want you quickly realize how frustrating and what a relationship rollercoaster it is.

Let me cite some examples.

Ten years ago when I was in the first year of university I dated a girl from Hong Kong who was in a dorm west of mine. We broke up 27 times over a 2 week period, mostly because she couldn't decide what she wanted in the relationship. She would get upset over the silliest things, break up with me, get jealous or lonely and then ask me back. Half of the time it was me breaking up with her, because I was getting very frustrated with the sheer rollercoaster of emotions. Eventually we broke up permanently.

Now that is an extreme example, but since then I have had occasion to meet women who are also wishy washy. Not just relationship wise, but indecisive in general. Some women can't seem to decide what to wear, what to eat, what to do even.

Meanwhile the guy is standing there pulling his hair out and saying "Just a pick a pair of shoes that matches the weather outside!"

For men this level of wishy washiness is very frustrating. We're not used to standing by while someone makes a decision, often a decision that makes very little difference.

Now generally speaking we think of women as being wishy washy, but I have heard of instances where men do it too. And likewise it will be over silly inane thing.

"Should I have the red wine or the white wine with the chicken or the fish?"

Does it really matter? The thing is dead, it doesn't care what wine you drink with it. The fish isn't going to look up and say "Have the red wine! You'll live longer!"

The point I am ultimately trying to get at is that being wishy washy is a relationship breaker. Some people might argue its even worse than the Dreaded Silent Treatment (which basically means the relationship is over because the person is so immature they are refusing to communicate).

The thing about being wishy washy however is that its a personality flaw. The Silent Treatment is just something immature that little kids do when they're angry at their parents or siblings. ("Mom! Andrea won't talk to me and she's being a dick!") In theory as people get older they eventually realize that the Silent Treatment doesn't solve any problems, it just hurts the relationship and will ultimately kill the relationship if it continues.

ie. Siblings that keep giving the Silent Treatment as adults will probably cease talking altogether and even avoid the other at family gatherings.

Being wishy washy however isn't something people grow out of easily as they get older. Its much more deeply rooted in a person's psyche and as such when they're trying to make a difficult decision (like breaking up or getting a divorce) such events will be even more traumatic for the other person because they will taken through a rollercoaster ride of "Are we getting divorced or not? Make up your freaking mind!"

In which case the person on the receiving end may just to decide to end the relationship first, out of sheer frustration and heartbreak. They may not happy with the decision later on, but there is only so much a human being can take emotionally before they decide to cut off contact.

Exercise at Work

2010-02-18T11:21:00.000-08:00

HEALTH - I have this horrible habit I do, its called exercise.

Let me explain... I was online chatting to a woman and I mentioned hurting my elbow lifting weights at the gym. To make a long story short she started giving me this whole attitude like "Oh, you're one of those people..." meaning people who exercise regularly. She wasn't referring to the muscle-bound professional weightlifters... or the people obsessed with working out every freaking day, she was referring to people "who believe in the value of exercise."

You see from her perspective exercise is a waste of time. You're either fit or fat and there's nothing you can do about it. "Its all genetics!" she argued.

If it was truly genetics how do explain the following?

#1. Obesity rates skyrocketing during the last 20 years in the United States. Is she saying Americans are genetically inferior? Highly doubtful.

#2. Obesity rates are only high in countries where people spend a great deal of time watching television and/or on computers, in contrast to spending time exercising. The average American watches 30 hours of television/movies per week and spends 14 hours per week on the internet. Combine that with an increasingly sedentary lifestyle in workplaces (and schools which have cut out Physical Education) its no wonder Americans are the fattest people on the planet. Please note that this has nothing to do with genetics and everything to do with lack of exercise.

#3. Some people eat a lot but don't gain any weight. This is because they have an active lifestyle. The more active and energetic you are, the faster your metabolism, the more easily you can consume food without gaining any weight... indeed if you are weightlifting the only weight you do gain is muscle mass (as opposed to fat).

But you see none of these points seem to matter to the woman I was talking to. From her perspective exercise to lose weight is a myth, a hoax forced on us by the weight-loss industry. She is absolutely convinced its all one big grand conspiracy to suck money out of people by forcing us to pay for gym memberships and exercise equipment.

Which is silly because exercise is free... anybody can go jogging, do aerobics and various traditional exercises like push ups, chin ups, etc., lift heavy things (ie. buckets of water or stacks of books) as a form of exercise. Having a gym membership is more about convenience because then you don't have to worry about breaking things in your home, you can get advice and you have all the extra space and useful machines at your disposal. (Heck my gym even has TVs on the treadmills and internet access.)

But regardless her mindset was clear she had a bit of a screw loose when it came to exercise. I did some checking online and there's a whole culture of people out there who think obesity is a genetic deficiency and on that basis they don't believe in exercise because they think its a waste of time and too troublesome.

At which point I am starting to wonder if the fat cells are blocking the flow of blood to their brains. Their arteries are so clogged with cholesterol their brain isn't receiving the proper amount of blood flow and its resulting in a brain malfunction. Its NOT genetic, its just a symptom of their condition.

Scientists have already proven that elderly people who exercise are less likely to develop Alzheimer's Disease and go senile. Regular exercise reduces the amount of cholesterol blocking their arteries, increases blood flow to the brain and results in the brain being healthier because it regenerates more.

Ergo people who exercise more often have less clogged arteries and healthier brains.

That might explain why some people can delude themselves into thinking exercise is a hoax... but I also think its part of their whole laziness mindset. They don't WANT to exercise, therefore they come up with reasons not to. Eventually all these reasons are combined until they've convinced themselves that exercise must be a complete waste of time because every time they do they never lose weight...

I think part of the problem is they expect instant results. Exercise is often combined with the word "regular" to imply regular daily exercise. Its not going to happen overnight. It will take months and years to achieve the final goal. That for some people is too long of a wait and they're simply too stubborn, stuck in their ways and lazy to make the prolonged effort.

Its like the people who say "Oh, I can't do art. I just don't have the talent." Bullshit. A baby has no talent. Talent is learned through practice and repetition. If you draw Charlie Brown 100 times by the time you get to number 100 you will probably be reasonably good at it. Artistic skill is learned ability. People aren't born with it. Some people might point out that other family members are also artistic, but thats because they also practiced their skill constantly. Their family values creativity and thus encourages it more, resulting in children who are better at it due to the amount of practice time.

The same thing can be applied to families of fat people. If the parents are lazy and spend all their free time watching television its guaranteed the children will do the same thing. Parents who are into exercise or sports are going to have active healthy children because they encouraged those activities.

And if you need further proof lets look at Type II Diabetes.

Type II Diabetes is caused by too much sugar (glucose) in the blood. Its not a genetic problem, its purely the result of overeating sugary foods. All that extra sugar results in hypertension, elevated cholesterol, various syndromes and will eventually kill the patient. Scientific studies have determined that the ONLY cure for Type II Diabetes is "consistent and continuing exercise" combined with healthy eating habits. In other words the patient needs to burn off all that extra sugar in their blood.

The human body isn't meant to eat large doses of sugar. We're meant to be outside hunting, fishing, foraging for food. We're supposed to be eating fruits, vegetables and meat. We're omnivores, not glucosevores. We're supposed to be outside, exercising, the wind in our hair... not trapped in a cubicle, eating prepackaged sugary foods and spending our evenings watching television or on the internet.

And now with much adieu I have to go to the gym now. Maybe I should take up archery? That sounds like fun.

Growing Old at Work

2010-02-11T11:53:00.000-08:00

HEALTH - I think men and women approach aging differently.

#1. When women worry about their age they do two things: Lie about their age and try to cover up their wrinkles using cosmetics. Some even go for more extreme measures like botox or surgery.

#2. When men worry about their age they think in terms of exercise and diet... but ultimately many men take a fatalistic approach and say "Bah, I'm still in good shape."

I think there is a lot of people who do that. They kind of lie about their level of fitness and try to ignore the fact that their body is starting to fall apart at the seams. Once their eyesight, hearing, etc. starts to go the next thing you know they've got no teeth and their bowels flush whenever they hear running water.

Comparatively few can actually say "I'm still in pretty good shape." Its reminds me of that scene in "Never Say Never Again" (with Sean Connery as James Bond)... check out the video below.

The difference of course is that James Bond does exercise (as shown by the weightlifting in the video above, an excellent way of staying young and fit), but his constant drinking and smoking have left him with a liver that will likely be what finally kills him.

Meanwhile the pharmaceutical industry is working overtime trying to make a variety of pills that will help keep people younger, utilizing everything from bat DNA (bats are very long lived for their size) to human growth hormone. In the meantime there are plenty of other ways to stay young and active.

Diet wise red wine is one of the big names and its been proven to work wonders. Any wine blog will tell its the red skin from fruits (not just grapes) that helps. The red skin of apples, ripe mangoes, tomatoes, red pears, strawberries, raspberries, cranberries, cherries, etc. protect the fruit from the sun's harmful rays and contain nutrients that will also help protect your skin as you grow older. That and its just plain good nutrition to eat lots of fruits and vegetables, especially the older you get.

Another problem with growing old is many people don't seem to keep their mind active (television apparently is not good for the brain BTW because its not interactive). Some elderly people can't handle simple tasks like programming a DVD player (or worse, a VCR), using a microwave or an office phone system. Its one of the reasons many old age homes are now stocking Wii games in an effort to get the elderly more active but also simultaneously using their brains so they don't collect dust and fall to bits.

A lot of scientific studies have been done in recent years that prove people who exercise both their bodies and their brains tend to live longer and have a significantly better standard of life in their old age.

At my gym for example there is this elderly woman who looks like she is in her 90s, but she's in there doing aerobics and lifting weights 7 days a week. I see her there EVERY time. She's in better shape than most teenagers.

Part of the problem I think is retirement. Lets say you're a business consultant for 40 years and the day after you turn 65 you retire. What do you do with all your free time? Do you keep reading the financial news or let it pass you by? DO you remember to keep visiting your local Toronto dentist or do you forget you have teeth entirely? Do you keep active, take tennis and golf lessons? Maybe take up sculpture, painting or photography?

Lets take photography as an example. Sure you could take photos of family members, your dog that is as old as you are (in dog years at least), your 20+ cats and the local landscapes... or you could become more artistic about it, submit your art to Canadian art galleries or even to photo contests like Lenzr which recently changed their voting structure rules so now users can vote for whomever they want to win (its essentially a popularity contest now).

Some people when they retire just seem to watch TV, visit their relatives and go for the occasionally walk. They don't want to go outside because its cold out so they stay inside and vegetate in front of the TV, their brains and bodies slowly wasting away... which might explain why so many elderly people move to Florida, because they can enjoy the weather more.

And while I do think men and women approach aging differently, we do share a commonality in that we all think we're going to live forever... right up until the point we are confronted with our own mortality. Those of us who are scared of dying tend to become religious, worried that they'll just cease to exist after they die (which is what most atheists believe). Frankly I don't mind the whole ceasing to exist thing, just so long as I leave the planet having contributed something towards making it better.

Maybe thats what more old people should do with all their free time: Become environmentalists. Heck, old people vote more than any other age group. They're a huge voting bloc and could force lots of changes if they really put their minds to it. Its time for the elderly to stop pissing away their lives and being complacent when they could actually do something that will make a difference for everyone.

Plus they could exercise and use their brains at the same time. Protesting is a workout for the brain and the body.

Wind Power at Work

2010-02-09T12:28:00.000-08:00

TECHNOLOGY - There's nothing men love more (with the exception of their love of women) than a great piece of engineering.

Between fast cars, airplanes, ships, rockets, architecture, computers, bicycles, motorcycles or anything else we can build with our hands there is a lot to admire. I think it comes down to a male drive to build and create. We can't make babies like women can, so we satisfy our creative urges with something else.

And our desire to build and create isn't limited to just what we can build ourselves, we also recognize and respect the things other people build and say "Hey, thats a really big engine you got there! How many horsepower does it have?"

Typical men, we love things that are bigger, stronger, more powerful.

This fascination also extends to gadgets for some men, whom have an obsession with their BlackBerries, their iPhones and whatever other gizmos they can afford and brag about.

Its a bit like having a supermodel trophy wife. Men love to brag in general.

But how do we fuel all of this technology? Electricity usually. With the exception of automotives that run on gasoline, diesel/bio-diesel or hydrogen power, everything else with so much as an electric switch needs an ample supply of electrical power... but how we produce that electricity is limited...

COAL POWER - About 40% of the electricity produced in North America comes from burning coal. It is the cheapest source of energy, but accounts for 35% of the greenhouse gas emissions.

NUCLEAR POWER - The cleaner alternative to coal, but the price of building nuclear power plants is always way more than originally predicted and ends up costing significantly more than anticipated (so much so that nuclear power has NEVER even been profitable and has always resulted in local governments being burdened with the financial cost). Nuclear also has waste left over which has to be dumped somewhere, regularly in war-torn and piracy-infected Somalia, resulting in skyrocketing cancer rates in that country.

SOLAR POWER - Suffers from a reputation of low reliability, but is technically cheaper than nuclear power. See Solar Power becoming Profitable.

HYDROGEN POWER - If there were more rivers that we could build dams on we would, but the ecological effects on the fish limits the number of dams that can be built. Dam construction has reached a plateau.

WIND POWER - More reliable and more efficient than solar power, wind power is old technology that has been upgraded with new lightweight materials and more efficient designs. So much so that wind turbines have become the darling of the energy industry...

In January 2010 Samsung announced a $7 billion deal to build wind turbines in Ontario. See: 16,000 new Samsung jobs in Ontario for more details.

Now the Danish company Vestas, the world's largest maker of wind turbines, is also thinking of setting up shop in Ontario. Officials from Vestas are currently in Ontario looking for land in Hamilton, Niagara, Kingston and Belleville to purchase, both for manufacturing and also to house the wind turbines they plan to build. Toronto-based Trillium Power Co. is currently bidding to become the exclusive supplier from the 740 wind turbines Vestas currently plans to build, and hopefully gives them the inside track to hundreds of more turbines in the future.

"Without a doubt the future of electricity in Ontario will be wind power," says one industry insider.

The Ontario government is also pushing hard to attract more green jobs to the province, and has become a mecca for wind power companies in North America. One third of Canadians live in the province, one sixth in the Toronto region alone. That is a lot of consumers who need electricity and Ontarians have made it clear they want to get rid of the old coal plants, but without building any nuclear plants which always go billions of dollars over budget.

But here's the thing... despite what naysayers say about wind power, I actually admire wind turbines for their technological achievement. I think its a brilliant piece of engineering. True, it may not have the zing and radioactive kewlness that nuclear power has...

If I was a finance or business consultant in Toronto I'd be really tempted to tell my customers to invest in Vestas, Samsung and any other wind turbine company. I think there's unlimited money to be made in the wind power industry.

Russian Mail Order Brides at Work

2010-02-05T10:21:00.000-08:00

TECHNOLOGY - We live in an era of spam... and within the context of spam nothing is more humourous than the emails from Russian mail order brides with horrible English, hot photos, and generic auto-responses that ultimately lead to asking for money.

And its presumed you never see or hear from them again afterwards. No bride ever "comes in the mail" or arrives by airplane.

In theory I could block all the spam just by creating a filter for all the names typically used by the Russian mail order bride scamsters... Tatyana is popular, but so is Katya, Olga and a few others.

I've received so many of the spams I've become a bit of an expert on the topic. I don't delete them quickly as I should, instead I like playing with them by asking them questions:

"Hey, how do you say hello in Russian?" and other language questions because I want to see what kind of response I will get. Usually they just ignore such questions and send another form response telling you about their favourite colours, how they like cooking and pleasing their man, how subservient they are and whatnot (basically the perfect 1950s housewife).

Or sometimes I will ask them something complex and hypothetical like:

"If you had to choose which would you rather be: A billionaire paraplegic or the ugliest person on the face of the planet, so ugly no one would ever love you?" or "Which do you prefer? The man of your dreams who cheats on you and treats you badly, or a guy with a sense of humour who is utterly faithful to you, but physically is quite ugly?"

If I am lucky I might get a real response, depends whether they actually read the emails. It does occasionally happen that its a real person answering the emails.

In which case they all eventually start asking for money so they can buy a plane ticket and come visit you, usually within the first 4-5 emails.

In which case, get real! Even in a hypothetical situation wherein I was sending love letters online to someone I was interested in overseas I would not be sending money to them or wanting to go visit them for at LEAST six months of constant daily emails.

For reference purposes its not just Russians that do this rather shoddy scam. I've also received variations of it from Nigeria, India, China, Japan, Bulgaria, Romania and I presume there are others. Its a really pathetic scam when you think about it.

And just imagine if it was real? What kind of relationship would you have if this poor girl who can barely speak English shows up on your doorstep? Eventually she is going to get bored and since the 'relationship' was built on a fraud to get her into your country by bypassing VISA applications with a marriage license the end result is the relationship is a big sham.

In reality they should be paying YOU to come to your country, marry you, get divorced after the paperwork is finalized and you pocket your payment. From what I've heard the base price for such a service is $100,000 CDN. (Heck, a Canadian passport alone is worth $50,000 USD on the black market.)

Seriously, if Canada accepted more immigrants that are simply loaded with cash we could pay off our $511 billion National Debt quite quickly. At the rate of $100,000 each we could pay off the debt just by accepting 5.11 million more wealthy immigrants into the country. And frankly, who doesn't want wealthy immigrants? They boost our economy. We should open the doors wide open to every wealthy person wanting to come to Canada, buy a home and setup a business.

"Beware of the Homosexual" at Work

2010-01-21T12:49:00.000-08:00

SEX - I saw the video below and I just had to re-post it on here. It was simply so outdated it was funny.

It really makes you realize just how far we've come in the last 60 years. In the 1950s homosexuality was considered a mental illness and the stuff of sexual predators looking for young boys... vs now where gay men and women are getting married, adopting kids, seeking equal rights. In some cases they're even running for political office.

If you're interested in finding more "sex education" or funny outdated videos on YouTube there are plenty of them.

What is REALLY funny is how some people (ie. Sarah Palin, Stephen Harper and similar politicians from the ultra-conservative Christian right wing) still believe in some of the outdated nonsense from that era.

Cheapness at Work

2010-01-02T17:44:00.000-08:00

Are men cheaper than women? Or are we just more practical sometimes?

I think it varies from person to person. True, men do tend hunt more often whereas women tend to be gatherers (insofar as shopping is concerned), which thus begs the question... do men hunt for bargains?

I'll give you an example.

Yesterday I went downtown to the Eaton's Centre, shopped around and eventually found a backpack i liked for $49.95 + tax. In theory I could have kept looking and maybe found a cheaper one for say $30, but I didn't bother. The backpack I found was pretty good quality and I figured it would last a long time (considering I take pretty good care of such things, this is very true of all my previous backpacks, satchels and whatnot).

HOWEVER, I utterly refused to spend a penny more than $60 on a backpack. There were quite a few backpacks are saw in the $80 to $100 range and it was a struggle to find one large enough that I liked in the $30 - $50 price range.

Thus in essence I was hunting for something very specific. ("Oh no, I can't shoot that deer. Its too big. Lets shoot a smaller one!")

I've noticed in the past there is also the time element. I don't want to waste too much time looking for one thing, especially if it will only save me $10 or so. Spending 2-4 hours looking for something and buying roughly the same thing for slightly less isn't my style. If I find what I like and its in the right price range I will probably take it.

Does this make me cheap? No, I think it makes me discerning and practical.

Lets pretend I was looking for car insurance quotes... Now if I was driving a cheap old Ford I probably wouldn't look very hard and I might take the first car insurance company I find without really shopping around because: A. Its a cheap car and the insurance isn't going to be a lot. B. Its not really worth the time and effort shopping around for what is likely roughly the same quote anyway. C. When it comes to car insurance YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR. This means some companies have better reputations and are less likely to rip you off when it comes time to actually use it.

Lets pretend I have the option between two pairs of shoes:

1. $120 Nikes: They will last a really long time, they're super comfortable, easy to clean, look good and we're probably made using child labour in India or China for all I know.

2. $20 Crappy Shoes: I have no idea how long they will last, and they were also made in India or China (and again probably using child labour).

Obviously I want to choose the Nikes, because in theory the cheap shoes are more likely to be made using child labour, but also because its a significantly better product. Furthermore if something happens to the shoes in the first week or so and I complain to Nike about it they will REPLACE THE SHOES. When you buy a brand name product, even though it doesn't come with a warranty, the company is committed to quality and will replace it.

Now lets pretend I want to lose weight... do I:

A. Go out and get liposuction for $5,000?

B. Join a gym and maybe buy Creatine pills from a natural medicine clinic?

Chances are likely the answer will be B. Because in this scenario $5,000 just seems unreasonably expensive and I would much rather ADD muscle weight and tone up the natural way instead. (See also Protein Supplements & Creatine at Work.)

Sometimes cheapness is directly connected to LAZINESS (either in conjunction or in opposition, because both are possible). For our next example lets say I am entering Lenzr's photo contest (they hold regular photo contests online). Do I:

A. Pick out a photo already on my computer, fill out the online form and send it in?

B. Go outside, take a couple hundred new photographs, waste a whole day (or several days) taking lots of photographs and send in the best ones? With no guarantee I will win.

You can pretty much bet it will be option A. Not because I am lazy, but because there's no guarantee I'd win anything anyway and its too freaking cold outside to be taking photographs anyway. I wanna stay inside where its warm!

Next lets pretend I want to do something expensive... like make a new application for my iPhone (I don't actually own an iPhone, this is just an example)... I get this really kewl idea for an app, but nobody else has thought of it yet so there's nothing remotely similar to it on the market (or maybe there is, but its too freaking expensive)... do I:

1. Hire some techie guy who may or may not know what he is doing?

2. Hire a professional mobile application developer?

In this situation I think its better to hire the professional. After all would you really want to hire an amateur to work on your Lamborghini, your house's plumbing or (egad!) open heart surgery on your mother? No, you're going to hire someone with training, experience and they're guaranteed to know what they're doing.

Its not going to be cheap, but the situation demands a person be practical.

Of course then there are some idiot men out there who think they can fix a car, do their own plumbing and you can guess what happens. They make a mess of it and end up having to spend even more on a professional to fix it. Thank god they draw the line at open heart surgery.

In conclusion are men cheap? No. But some of them are really stupid and arrogant.

Classical Music at Work

2009-12-30T08:33:00.000-08:00

ENTERTAINMENT - Most men (and I apologize to anyone who really enjoys classical music) thinks that classical music is, essentially, gay.

This is a common misconception, perpetuated by ignorant males who really don't have a clue what they are talking about.

In our modern era of rock stars wearing tight leather pants (frankly, that sounds way more gay to me) for some silly reason a bunch of men and women in a classical orchestra playing music that was composed centuries ago is considered "rather fruity".

HOWEVER lets stop and consider the actual music being played... most of it doesn't sound remotely "gay".

Consider the following scores:
Hall of the Mountain King (by Edvard Grieg)
Ride of the Valkyries (by Richard Wagner)

Such music is played by American troops heading into a war zone because they like freaking out the enemy with the sheer massive quality to the music. (See the scene from the Vietnam War film "Apocalypse Now".)

The fact is classical music is used a lot in films, especially in explosion scenes because it is such exciting music. See the explosion scene below from "V for Vendetta".

When I was young I listened to classical music regularly. I found a record in my parents' record collection called "Royal Philharmonic Orchestra : Hooked On Classics: 1982" and I was instantly addicted to listening to it because it was such EXCITING & EXHILARATING MUSIC. It made me hyper just listening to it, faster than 4 cans of Coca-Cola on a seven-year-old.

And its not limited to myself or films... classical music is also rampant in the video game industry because its ideal as background music and there's no copyright on it. These days the video game industry is bigger than the global film industry and as such there are gamers out there who are daily listening to classical music whilst slaying computer generated orcs and dragons.

Small surprise, but classical music is now seeing a revival in sales (both on CD and digital downloads such as iTunes).

Even classical orchestras are seeing new people coming out to see their performances (if you live in Toronto, try Mooredale Concerts). Mooredale has a philosophy that "classical music is for everyone" because it is gender neutral and because there is no lyrics it crosses any language barriers.

Conclusions? Classical music has always been associated with the culturally elite (not necessarily rich, simply for people who are often more educated about the history of music)... but there is no reason regular people can't appreciate it. Try listening to the medley video below and see how many of the different scores you recognize:

See Also:
Is High Culture making a comeback in 2010?

Bullies at School (and at Work)

2009-11-19T02:18:00.000-08:00

CANADA/HEALTH - According to a new study Canada has some of the worst bullies in the world. At least insofar as our schools are concerned. The study by Queen's University in conjunction with the World Health Organization documented both bullies and victims of bullies and the bullying methods used in 40 different countries.

Boys face homophobic slurs, insults, verbal and physical abuse, to say nothing of emotional trauma that will haunt their self confidence for years to come and in many cases leads to depression, suicide attempts and violent behaviour.

Girls are no less humiliated either, but methods girls use to bully each other differs slightly.

The victims of bullying (regardless of gender) often end up cutting themselves and contemplating / attempting suicide. They also tend to become more shy, despondent, develop phobias of school or meeting new people, their marks slide and they end up wholly traumatized by the experience.

Author's Note: Having been bullied myself I know these things to be true. I still get upset just thinking of past instances from my own high school years.

The problem in Canada is that many school administrators do several things:

#1. They think its a problem that will go away with time and that there will be no lasting harm.

#2. They think it would take too much effort to enact anti-bullying policies, or that such policies could make problems worse.

In the United States however bullying is taken VERY seriously. In a country that averages a mass school shooting every 3-4 months there is a constant effort to prevent or put a halt to bullying, for fear that "Your School could be the next Columbine".

In Canada this lack of support in the schools' administration results in bullies basically running the place, getting away "Scot-free" with whatever antics they feel like. This is the reason why Canada is ranked the 5th worst country for bullies in schools out of the 40 countries polled.

14% of Canadian boys report being physically bullied.
30% of Canadian boys report verbal / psychological bullying.

Currently the status quo for punishing bullies is to suspend the offending student for 1-3 days. Afterwards the bully returns and due to lack of teacher supervision the bullying frequently becomes worse. (So going back to point #2 above, yes, band-aid solutions do make the problem worse, but it doesn't mean there isn't a good solution.)

The province of Ontario (where approx. 33% of all Canadian school children live) has taken steps in recent years like the Safe Schools Act and a training program that has thus far trained 25,000 teachers and 7,000 principals in how to address/prevent bullying. And this week is "Bullying Awareness Week", something which many schools take part in.

But if you look at the statistics for bullying incidents you see the it hasn't dropped, but has remained relatively steady. Anti-bullying group PREVNet (Promoting Relationships and Eliminating Violence Network) says there is little evidence that above measures have done anything, once again its just a band-aid solution.

You have to wonder what this "training program" for teachers really involves. Its likely just a weekend where teachers gather, talk about different ways to deal with bullies, eat lunch together and get a stamped certificate at the end proving they were there. Afterwards they make up their own mind on how to deal with bullies instead of following any kind of protocol.

That is a key problem. The current protocol (or lack thereof) doesn't work because administrators/teachers are not investigating allegations of bullying and are instead preferring to sweep it under the rug and ignore it.

Here is a solution for you...

Make it a CRIME.

If 14% of Canadian boys are being physically bullied and abused, that is ASSAULT. It is already a crime as far as the law is concerned, the problem is that school administrators have a strong tendency to turn a blind eye to bullying and either give the bully a "slap on the wrist" or give a suspension (Woohoo, 1-3 days of no school!), which is hardly a punishment.

If it was treated as a crime and bullies received criminal records (and possibly time in juvenile hall or the threat of jail) then they would be more likely to be scared shitless of getting in trouble again. (After all, if you go to juvenile hall you frequently are no longer the bully, but become the victim. There's always someone who is bigger than you are.)

Now I admit treating bullying as a crime is a lot more time consuming, but so is trying to teach students who are traumatized. They're distracted and despondent, too stressed about the bullies in their life to worry about school work. The students who don't suffer from bullies inherently have better marks (and less sick days from trying to avoid a bully).

An effective solution to bullying will doubtlessly raise the grade average of students and result in happier and more productive students.

The countries polled with the least amount of bullies (Norway, Sweden and England) have strong policies in place and they are under constant evaluation for improvement. What we need in Canada therefore is to adopt identical policies and protocols and FOLLOW THEM. Don't ignore them at your leisure.

After all its not just students who were shot in the Columbine massacre, it was teachers too. For their own safety teachers need to be taking bullying more seriously.

And FYI, on a per capita basis Canada has had more school shooting fatalities than the USA. Remember the Killer Goth in Montreal in September 2006? Or the C. W. Jefferys Collegiate shooting in May 2007? Or the Bendale Business and Technical Institute shooting in September 2008? Apparently Canada averages a school shooting every year, which when you consider our population is one 10th of the USA's that is a pretty high rate.

High Fantasy at Work

2009-11-08T06:49:00.000-08:00

ENTERTAINMENT - A couple of months ago the National Toy Hall of Fame in Rochester, New York introduced the stick to its walls. According to Christopher Bensch, the museum's curator:

"It's very open-ended, all-natural, the perfect price -- there aren't any rules or instructions for its use. It can be a Wild West horse, a medieval knight's sword, a boat on a stream or a slingshot with a rubber band. ... No snowman is complete without a couple of stick arms, and every campfire needs a stick for toasting marshmallows.

"This toy is so fantastic that it's not just for humans anymore. You can find otters, chimps and dogs -- especially dogs -- playing with it."

The stick is essentially a toy for the imagination. Its not long before its being wielded as a gun or a sword, which is the basis for today's post.

For children and travelers no one was without their trusty walking stick, that weapon and tool that defied breaking (because they had repeatedly smashed stick against stick until they had the strongest one left).

Human warfare evolved from the stick. It was our spears and our clubs, the very concept of which went onto the making of maces and swords, and even arrows for our bows and bolts for our crossbows. Even the basic shape of the crossbow and the stick is part of modern rifles, positioned to be an extension of our arms rather than our eyes which we aim with.

Even our flagpoles are representational of the flags that once hung from spears and lances.

In addition to weapons our folklore, legends and mythology evolved with it:

Zeus with his lightning javelins.

Poseidon with his trident.

Lancelot with his lance.

Beowulf, Siegfriend/Sigurd, King Arthur, Conan, knights, samurai, pirates, adventurers of all stripes with their swords.

Luke Skywalker, Obi Wan Kenobi and Darth Vader with their lightsabers.

Even James Bond wields a sword in "Die Another Day", the last installment with Pierce Brosnan as Bond. Our modern entertainment is full of examples of sword bearing vigilantes (Christian Bale in Batman Begins, Bruce Willis in Pulp Fiction, Uma Thurman in Kill Bill, Gerard Butler in 300, Viggo Mortensen in The Lord of the Rings trilogy)...

Yes, sword and sorcery is indeed alive and strong in our modern mythos.

There is even rumours of a new Conan movie to come out in either 2010 or 2011, possibly starring Hugh Jackman as the original swordbuckling adventurer created by Robert E. Howard (as opposed to the dim-witted, sometimes drunk version by director/writer John Milius from the 1982 film). The original Conan stories depict a Cimmerian warrior who was never sold into slavery, but chose a life of travel and adventure, leaving his home to find work as a mercenary and a thief, eventually becoming a warlord, a leader, an usurper and a king.

True, Conan was tall and muscular in the stories, but Arnold Schwarzenegger took it to new extremes (Lets face it, Arnie is huge!). The new film will be gritty like Batman Begins and Casino Royale, bringing the character back to his beginnings and this time to be true to Howard's Conan stories rather than the bastardized Milius version.

I digress.

The point of all this is how symbolic fantasy swordplay is both in terms of modern entertainment, and also in terms of part of our collective cultural mythology. As a boy I played with swords almost EVERY day. I grew up with quite a collection of sticks which were my swords at the time, swordfighting with my best friend or my sister was one of my favourite activities even well into my teen years. At the age of 12 I was writing stories about pirates and by the age of 15 I was writing full length high fantasy novels set in an alternate world with minotaurs / etc. Even now I still write stories regularly (see fiction.charlesmoffat.com) and I've developed a fairly large collection of real swords, preferring the more practical or historical swords vs the grotesque fantasy swords. (If anyone has a saber from the American Civil War, I am looking to buy one.)

Lets stop and define what high fantasy is:

High Fantasy: Alternate World where magic and/or monsters exist. ie. The Forgotten Realms, Krynn, Hyborean Earth, Middle Earth, Narnia or even the sub-world of Harry Potter. The plot is often something epic and huge, like a war between the evil dragons and the good dragons (the plot of Dragonlance).

Low Fantasy: Takes place on Earth, but with fantasy elements introduced. ie. Clash of the Titans, Beowulf, Siegfried/Sigurd, King Arthur, etc. Even Star Wars counts as low fantasy because it supposedly takes place in our universe, uses a fantasy tagline (a long time ago and in a galaxy far, far away), it has magic (the Force) and the heroes wield "magical" swords (lightsabers). Star Wars is not actually Science Fiction because there is no attempt to explain how lightsabers or hyperspace travel actually works. The plot of Low Fantasy can be either epic or it can be more personal.

Sword and Sorcery: Fast paced, character driven plot, often between the swordbuckling adventurer and some evil wizard, monster or demon as the central villain. Samurai Jack is an excellent example, wherein he must defeat the oni demon Aku. Conan is the original "Sword and Sorcery" hero, wherein the term was coined shortly after the introduction of the character is the pulp magazine "Weird Tales".

SWORDS IN MODERN CULTURE

Anyone who is into Freudian psychology will of course point out that swords are phallic symbols and a manifestation of the male ego. Well duh! LOTS of things are phallic shaped simply because its an universal geometric shape, but that is not the be-all-end-all of their meaning. Swords are also cultural symbols, often worn these days for ceremony as opposed to actual use. Maces too, especially in parliamentary proceedings, have ceremonial purposes.

If you go over to South Korea, Japan or various other Asian countries you might also see guards standing outside embassies carrying katanas (and sometimes wakizashis too) instead of rifles, and in this case they're actually meant to be used. So depending where you go swords still have a practical purpose because its considered a less lethal way of defending a building (and unlike guns you don't have to worry about running out of bullets).

And if you go to various Middle Eastern countries there are places that still have public beheadings with swords. Saudi Arabia (allies with the United States) still has public executions using swords.

Saddam Hussein (before he was captured and eventually hanged obviously) once owned quite a collection of swords, had various public sculptures of swords made and even wrote a low fantasy novel called "Zabibah and the King". The book was so popular in pre-invasion Iraq that a 20 episode TV series was based off the book (although one can be certain Hussein ordered the TV series made, knowing Iraq's adult literacy rate was approx. 70%).

Not that Saddam Hussein is alone in this. George W. Bush also has a collection of swords. They are after all both men who were war leaders.

Where would warfare be without swords? True, we don't use swords in actual war any more. Nor do we use spears, lances or bows (despite the latest Rambo flick). Its certainly a far cry from Napoleon's era when swords still had a place alongside rifles, bayonets and canons because warfare was often close combat.

Again I digress.

Now to my final point, the difference between men and women. Women, generally speaking, are a bit bored by the whole swords, bows and spears obsession men have. As such there isn't a lot of women lining up to read fantasy books, watch fantasy movies... likely because fantasy typically caters to the macho male ideal (big muscular men rescuing damsels in distress).

There really is a short list of commonly known female heroines who wield swords: Atalanta (Greek myth), Joan of Arc (Catholic Saint), Xena Warrior Princess, Laurana (Dragonlance), The Bride/Beatrix in 'Kill Bill', Arwen (The Lord of the Rings) and Elizabeth Swann (Pirates of the Caribbean). You might be able to think of others, but suffice to say the list is short.

Part of this might not be the culture already present, but also a question of parenting. Some parents choose to send their daughters to ballet, figure skating, teaching them to sew, cook or things we consider to be more domestic or feminine. (Teehee, Conan the Ballet Dancer.)

Lastly there's also the fact fantasy is identified typically as being either European, Arabic or Asian, despite ample myths and legends to be found in Africa or the Americas which could be used as the base for a new genre of fantasy fiction.

Conclusions: With the rise of online games/MMORPGs like Dungeons & Dragons Online, Conan: The Hyborean Age or World of Warcraft there is no doubt fantasy is going to be growing in popularity in the years to come, but it also needs to grow by expanding the genre so its more accessible to other cultures and women.

Remember Zula (the character played by Grace Jones in "Conan the Destroyer")? That was a deliberate attempt by the writers to create a character that more people could identify with. Admittedly it was tokenism, but the idea was there at least.

My advice? Don't see fantasy as being androcentric or Eurocentric, think of it as an opportunity to create something new.

Or alternatively there's no shortage of myths about women that could be reintroduced to the modern mythos by making a new version of them. All it takes is a little research and then you can rewrite the old stories, or make up new stories to fill in the gaps.

The Teenage Brain at Work

2009-11-04T12:48:00.000-08:00

HEALTH - The teenage brain is a stage of growth and cerebral reorganization. Teens see major changes in their frontal cortex, and this is equally true for both women and men.

The cortex is the outer layer of the brain and is the most sophisticated part of the brain. The frontal cortex is where our highest-level thinking and analysis take place.

During the teen years and early adulthood (up to the early 30s) this part of the brain grows lots of white matter in the form of myelin. Myelin is a fatty layer that insulates nerve fibres so they can communicate more quickly with less interference. The more myelin insulation the more efficiently the brain cells work.

Teenage brains also lose synapses (connections) among nerve cells. This pruning process is critical to making the brain's functions more swift and powerful. During this time the teenage brain develops the ability to think abstractly and discover how complex systems work. Thus teens and young adults learn both broadly and deeply, often mastering a topic they care and becoming an expert in it in a relatively short amount of time.

Thus these early years don't really benefit from memorizing meaningless facts (ie. history class), but learn faster by doing and becoming experts at making/fixing things. Its a more creative time in human development.

Thus teenagers often seek to express themselves and their unique identity. Social interaction and communication becomes very important, which explains the popularity of instant messaging, Facebook and cell phones amongst young people.

The Common Cold at Work

2009-10-27T16:19:00.000-07:00

HEALTH - If this is by accident my last post ever its because I have all the symptoms of swine flu (H1N1 is actually an hybrid of North American swine influenza, Asian swine influenza, avian influenza and human influenza) and might die from it. If not then its just the common cold (or it was the swine flu but I hopefully manage to survive it).

I actually think it would be kewl if it was swine flu just so I could brag about being a swine flu survivor and be one of the lucky 89% or so who only has mild symptoms (as opposed to the 11% who get seriously ill and the 0.5% who die).

So technically my chance of dying is very little. Only marginally worse than the normal flu if truth be told (yes, the normal influenza kills seniors/children and people with poor immune systems regularly).

NEVERTHELESS, I am going to explain how I combat the Common Cold:

#1. Lots of salt and acid in my diet. Germs don't like acidic things like apple juice, orange juice, any kind of citrus fruit, salty foods, salt & vinegar potato chips, fish & chips with lots of extra salt, drinks with lots of sodium in it (ie. Gatorade or Powerade). This list includes Neo-Citron.

#2. Eat a lot. Your body is a very efficient machine and if you have loss of appetite you need to combat that by eating lots. Unless you have a stomach flu and keep throwing up you need to force yourself to eat and snack often. You should definitely have a large snack about an hour or two before bed.

#3. Cleanliness. I think a lot of sick people tend to crawl into bed and just watch TV a lot. My advice is to get out of bed, take a shower, a bath, brush your teeth several times per day, wash your hair, wash your hands constantly. I find the mere act of brushing my teeth and showering makes me feel a lot better and healthier. I recommend a toothpaste with an antibacterial agent in it. The same goes for hands soaps/etc.

#4. Sleep, but don't overdo it. Only sleep if you really feel exhausted. If you're just sick and feeling lazy you don't need to turn into a big baby. I admit we men tend to do this when sick (its an excuse to be lazy and by gosh I am going to use it to full advantage!), but its not actually the best thing for you. Granted, you shouldn't be out going to the gym or mountain climbing, but you should be able to do light activity like cooking some soup and taking care of yourself.

DON'TS

#1. Don't drink alcohol. It may work a bit as a painkiller, but alcohol weakens your immune system. It does way more harm to your immune system for a 24 hour period after drinking and the painkilling effect only lasts a couple hours.

#2. Don't smoke or ingest anything toxic. This is a no brainer. If you can't follow this advice, well, you remember what Darwin said about Natural Selection?

#3. Don't go out. If you do have swine flu its recommended you isolate yourself for a period of 5 days. 2-3 days if its just the regular flu.

#4. Don't ignore your symptoms if they get worse and start have difficulty breathing. See a physician ASAP.

Swine Flu kills people due to respiratory failure or complications with other health problems. If you encounter problems breathing you should consult a doctor soon.

Feel free to check back later to see how long my cold lasted and whether I survived. Presumably I will because I am very aggressive when it comes to fighting a cold.

Car Options at Work

2009-10-21T15:25:00.000-07:00

AUTOMOTIVES - When it comes to buying options for a new car the industry is really paying homage to one thing: People, men in particular, are suckers.

Let me explain:

1. Remote Car Starters: Its a gadget that you don't need, and worse the idling actually damages the cylinders in your engine.

2. Fog Lights: If you've ever used them you know they don't even work in fog. Its a misnomer because they're completely useless. Dumb saps however will think they need them.

3. Sunroofs: Oh sure, they look kewl, but the drag on your aerodynamics ruins both your fuel economy and handling. According to experts you're better off running the air conditioner. Worse, they also leak, rattle and the weight fucks up your car's centre of gravity.

4. Leather Upholstery: Sticky in the summer, cold in the winter, slippery all the time, expensive to repair and you will never be able to date that hot vegetarian you met at work.

5. Rear View Mirror Fashions: Dangly decorations in your rear window? Why don't you just crash your car now and save yourself the time when you accidentally get in a fender bender because you had a blind spot in your rear window?

6. Button Ignition: Another gadget for people who like race cars. Complete waste of money and basically for hosers who will basically buy anything that allows them to show off.

7. Paint Protection: Your paint is already high tech, the best the car industry can do. Do you really think some teenager in the service department with a spray can will do better?

8. Undercoating: See point #7. Your car has already had an electrostatic bath, painted several times and baked to prevent rust. Do you think the same kid with a spray can will do better than all that?

9. Rear Spoiler: Unless you're driving 140+ kmph all the time, the rear spoiler doesn't produce enough down force to actually give you any extra grip on the road.

10. Steering Wheel Covers: These things have a nasty habit of ripping, slipping and becoming a nuisance. You're better off just buying driving gloves.

Lets pretend you go out and get a new car from General Motors. For the sake of demonstrating we're going to use the 2010 Corvette as an example, for which the base model costs $67,050 CDN... but if you got all the options, its $142,980 CDN.

And those options include... a shade for your luggage, more memory for your onboard computer, heated seats, telescoping steering column, custom leather interior, 7 speakers for your tunes, remote control/starter so you can start the car and set the temperature/etc from the comfort of your bedroom or office and of course Bluetooth so you can plug it into laptop or iPhone. Otherwise this upgraded version comes with a slightly better motor. You can also get a convertible version.

For approx. the same price as the Corvette with all the options you could get an Aston Martin DB9, a vastly superior car, but without all the extra crap you don't need.

And there's quite a few other cars you could get... that's just an example of what you could get just by NOT buying all the dumb extras.

And I am not saying its just men who fall for the dumb extras. Women do it too sometimes. I'd estimate its the result of ignorance on the part of both men and women... they buy the extras without thinking and it never occurs to them they could get a vastly superior vehicle for the same money they are wasting on "luggage shade" and a remote.

Fast Cars and Testosterone at Work

2009-10-14T15:26:00.000-07:00

AUTOMOTIVES - Scientists have discovered that the thrill men feel when they drive a sports car is testosterone. In fact they were able to measure it, comparing the testosterone in men driving a Porsche 911 vs driving a four-door family sedan and determined men feel significantly higher levels of testosterone when driving the Porsche 911.

Like duh. Not really much of a surprise there.

They also tested whether testosterone levels would be different when women were around and determined the presence of a female audience made no difference on testosterone levels. (That was a bit of a surprise.)

Thus they determined that the feeling of power and speed is what causes the testosterone increase, not the availability of women.

This explains why men having a "midlife crisis" are more likely to buy sports cars (ie. Jaguar, Aston Martin, Porshe, etc.) or supercars (Lamboghini, Maserati, Koenigsegg, etc.) because they have lost interest in women and now feel the need to explore something that interests them (and its very difficult to find a man who is NOT remotely interested in engineering speed, power and torque).

High testosterone has been linked to a healthier and more energetic lifestyle. Lower testosterone tends to result in obesity, heart disease, diabetes and depression. Men (over 50) with low testosterone are 33% more likely to die prematurely of health problems.

After testing their saliva they discovered men saw a significant increase in the Porsche. In the old Camry their testosterone levels actually decreased.

Scientists have also determined wearing red boosts testosterone, and thus sports teams wearing red uniforms have a slight advantage because of boosted hormones.

No word yet on whether driving a red car boosts more than a grey car.

Or whether women see any hormonal changes when they drive a fast car.

Or whether driving the Batmobile boosts testosterone levels...

The cars used were a $123,000 CDN Porsche 911 Carrera Cabriolet and a 1993 Toyota Camry family sedan.

In related news 44% of British drivers apparently talk to their cars whilst driving, including 32% who constantly chatter to their car. Only 25% said they never talked to their cars. Another 25% has a pet name for their car.

The survey also determined women are twice as likely to talk to their car when compared to men.

A Slippery Nipple at Work

2009-09-17T09:20:00.000-07:00

ENTERTAINMENT - The Slippery Nipple is a layered cocktail shooter.

½ shot of Sambuca
½ shot of Baileys

1. Pour the Sambuca into a conical shot glass.
2. Slowly & carefully pour the Baileys down the side of the glass so that the two liquids do not mix and the Baileys floats atop the Sambuca.
Optional: Place a cherry (the 'nipple') in the bottom of the shot glass before pouring the Sambuca.

Try also Icelandic Ice Tea:

½ shot of Vodka
½ shot of Blue Gin
½ shot of SourMix (to make it sweeter)
Lots of crushed ice.

Mix together in a martini shaker, serve in a tall glass and enjoy.

Icelandic Ice Tea (or simply Iceland Ice Tea) was invented by Charles Moffat and Jeremy Mason.

Now what is the difference between these two drinks? One looks cool because the one liquid floats on top of the other, whereas the other one looks cool to drink because its that wonderful blue colour.

On the other hands the Slippery Nipple also has a sexy sounding name. A lot of cocktails do that... Orgasm, Sex on the Beach, Hanky-Panky, Hairy Virgin, Angel's Tit and so on.

I think its all part and parcel of the long history of alcohol and sex.

In fact a lot of human history can be blamed on alcohol. Not just unintended pregnancies, but also revolutions. The Boston Tea Party for example. With that in mind we can basically blame the formation of the United States of America... on a bunch of angry drunks who got pissed off at the British who dressed up like natives, rowed out to the British ship loaded with tea, and poured it all into the harbour.

And that was just the result of beer, whiskey, rum and gin. Proof that alcohol fuels social change.

Protein Supplements & Creatine at Work

2009-09-15T13:12:00.000-07:00

HEALTH - If you've been keeping track you already know I am on a high protein diet as part of my weightlifting regimen. See my past post Hamburgers & Protein at Work for example.

I am also planning to get yoga lessons (to improve my core musculature) and my final goal is to look like a male supermodel (ie. Marcus Schenkenberg).

The thing is however is that in order to put on lots of muscle it helps if you eat the right amount of protein. Its recommended people who are working out regularly to be eating 1 gram of protein for every pound of their target weight. So if you want to weigh 200 lbs of pure muscle you need to ideally be eating 200 grams of protein per day.

That however is trickier than it sounds. Especially if you are on a budget and can't afford to buy meat as much as you want to. If you're a vegetarian you can just forget about it.

Meat (especially fresh meat, not that processed crap) contains creatine, an organic acid which supplies energy to muscle and helps in the production of new muscle tissue. Creatine got it name in 1832 when scientist Michel Eugène Chevreul discovered it and named it after the Greek word for flesh, Kreas.

Because creatine is only found in meat its much more difficult for vegans to grow muscle and they tend to have less energy and stamina in comparison.

Today I went to the Shoppers Drugmart across the road from me to buy some new shampoo (Yeah, Herbal Essences was on sale!) and pick up some Multivitamins.

Across the aisle from the vitamins however I spotted the protein supplements. The big round containers with the flashy logos and shiny packaging. Woooo. Shiny! And better yet they were on sale.

The problem is they all offer the same basic thing "Bulk Up Faster", "Build Muscle Fast", "Scientifically Superior to Other Strength Supplements"... bla bla bla. So how do you choose?

So I picked up some packages and went to talk to a pharmacist. She just kind of looked at me blankly and tried to explain what she knew about it... which wasn't a lot. I wanted to know how it worked and apparently she didn't really know much about protein supplements.

Thus when it came to choosing I just picked the chocolate-flavoured one with 52 grams of protein per serving. Since my target weight is about 180 lbs an extra serving of this every time I workout at the gym would be beneficial. I don't think I am getting enough protein in my diet currently.

I also asked the pharmacist about a package of creatine pills. She didn't really know too much about it either, hence why I had to do some research when I got home (and am now passing that knowledge unto you!).

I did NOT however buy the creatine pills. The package I did buy already contains creatine. I figured I shouldn't really by doubling up on the stuff, plus I wanted to do some more research on the topic before I invested $19.99 on a bottle of pills that I didn't know how they worked.

(I am one of those people who like to disassemble things to see how they work. One of the reasons I love Lego.)

Now the trick is that I don't want to bulk up too much. Sure, I bought the supplement, but that is all it is. A supplement. Extra protein and vitamins because I am not getting enough. I don't want to look like a big bodybuilder. Its too grotesque.

I am much more concerned about not looking like my father did when he was in his 30s and 40s, with a paunch et al. I want to have a body I can be proud of and once I reach that goal maintain it.

And yes, I did take some before pictures. When I reach my goal I will post the before and after photos.

Some People are just Dumb as Bricks

2009-09-08T05:52:00.000-07:00

The following discussion applies equally to men and women:

When I was in high school I had a membership in a website in which, if you forgot your password, you could have your password resent to your email address.

Additionally, if you couldn't remember your login you could have that resent too.

I was discussing this marvel (such a new concept when the internet was young) with a friend in the library who couldn't remember his password when a passing moron (who apparently didn't have anything better to do and decided to listen in on our conversation). The moron had this to say:

"But that doesn't mean someone could break into your account if they just resent your login and your password?"

"No, it doesn't work that way."

"Yes it does. You just said you can get the login and password by resending them."

"But then how do you get into the person's email to retrieve them both?"

"Oh."

Hours later I got two emails, one containing my login and a second containing my password. The moron had apparently gone home, remembered my email address from listening to the discussion. He was apparently trying to get into my account but was too dumb as bricks to remember he also needed access to my email.

Days later I smacked him over the back of the head and told him off.

"Hey, don't do that. I'll tell the principal!"

"You mean the vice-principal. The principal doesn't deal with troublemakers. I am sure the VP would be interested to hear you've been trying to break into other people's personal stuff and that you're too dumb to figure out its not possible. At least not possible using the method you did."

"A hacker could do it!"

"Are you a hacker? No. Stop hanging around me loser."

Not the exact words of the conversation, but the general jist of it. Him and his friends tended to follow myself and my friends around. We were the seniors, they the juniors and apparently they had nothing better to do than emulate us older students.

I remembered he bugged me to play cards with him once, in an earlier incident, and he kept cheating because he didn't know the rules. Finally I decided to leave and go to class and swore I would never play cards (or anything else) with him ever again. So if you're wondering why I was rude to the moron its because he kept following us around.

Thinking back about that idiot I have to wonder if that he ever got into college or university. If he did it would be proof that entrance standards are shockingly low and that any moron can get in.

Judging from my two degrees and 6 years in university, yes, quite a few morons do get in.

I remember I was dating a girl in 3rd year of university and her roommate was a fashionista. She went to a fashion show and came back yapping on about how the models would strike a pose at the end of the catwalk and how "it was so avant-garde!"

What she actually meant to say was that it was a cliché, but she didn't know the difference between avant-garde and cliché.

cliché = its been done before so many times its considered lame.
avant-garde = its never been done before.

And neither I nor my girlfriend at the time bothered to explain the difference to her. We had both dealt with our share of morons before and trying to explain things to them was about as effective as banging your head against a wall.

You'd think someone would come up with some kind of test similar to SATs or an IQ test that would allow universities to screen out the rejects more thoroughly. Oh well, I guess some people just get in on money alone and some kind of semblance of good grades.

I think some teachers take pity on students and artificially raise their grades. It creates a series of lowered standards and eventually those students end up in universities where they are much more likely to drop out when they run into professors who DO NOT take pity on them.

Like the morons who hire other people to write their essays for them while they go out and party, smoke pot and snort cocaine. Its sad because these are the type of people who manage to weasel their way into powerful high paying jobs somehow. ie. George W. Bush or the executives that worked at Enron.

What is also sad is that Canada and the United States need to be training more scientists (engineers, physicists, chemists, biologists, doctors, the works!) in order to keep up with other countries internationally. Technology wise we are slipping in our ability to stay competitive.

That problem is two-fold:

#1. We seem to be letting too many morons study whatever they feel like.

#2. We have too many programs/fields that are interesting to the more nerdy people and cause them to enter a different field of expertise which is ultimately useless (ie. studying Klingon in university). Seriously, what is someone going to accomplish in life with a degree in Klingon? Impress Worf? Not bloody likely.

Would it be so hard to increase university standards so we make sure we're not wasting teaching time on people who frequently drop out anyway? Or cut funding to some of the programs which are draining our more technologically inclined?

And why does it cost extra to study engineering? That is a highly valuable skill and we always need more engineers. We should be lowering tuition costs to engineering programs to make it more affordable for the people who are faced with a dilemna: Klingon (or some equally useless degree) or Engineering? Well... Klingon is cheaper so I guess that will have to do...

Maybe there's something in the water that makes so many people in North America brain dead? Are we not testing the water for lead poisoning any more? Or is there just way too many people smoking pot and snorting coke (and then having kids) that our society is just going downhill quickly due to a combination of drugs and lack of education?

We need more discipline and vigilance when it comes to educating the leaders of tomorrow.

21 Ways to Please Your Man

2009-08-21T12:54:00.000-07:00

1. Shopping for lingerie or sex toys together.

2. Wear a hockey jersey to bed. Or lingerie. Both are good.

3. Sandwiches cut diagonal. Guys love that.

4. When ordering food at a restaurant, keep your order simple and don't break our wallets if we are treating you.

5. Moaning loudly during sex. No complaints from us.

6. Beer is good. Beer is always good.

7. Don't ask us loaded questions like "Does this make my butt look fat?" or "Would you ever want a threesome?" when we both know those questions are a trick.

8. Don't get upset when you find our porn collection. All guys have them, just ignore it and don't talk about it. The same thing goes when you're older and we have teenage boys and you find their collections... its best to just ignore it. (We turn a blind eye to your used tampons and pads, so please ignore our dirty Kleenexes.)

9. We hate shopping for shoes and we hate waiting while you try on different shoes. Its very boring. Bring a magazine or something for us to read at least, or maybe make conversation about something you KNOW we like to talk about.

10. You don't need to repeat yourself when arguing. We heard you the first time. We don't mind listening to you discuss your feelings, but you don't need to keep repeating the same line again and again. (And while we are at it we also like makeup sex after arguments.)

11. Listen to our feelings. We listened to you.

12. If it becomes obvious that we're not interested in the latest gossip its best you stop talking about it and phone/email one of your female friends instead.

13. Pick a chick flick that has sex and/or violence in it. We love that.

14. We have eyeballs and we can see. Yes, we noticed your friend with the huge knockers, and yes our eyes may have lingered on them (natural reaction), but you don't need to make a big fuss about it. We are with YOU. We like your cleavage too.

15. Quickies are great. Who doesn't like quickies?

16. Blowjobs are always wonderful, and it wouldn't hurt if you brushed up on your technique.

17. Don't confuse flirting for sexist comments. When we compliment your body its not meant to be sexist, it means exactly what we say it means. Its a compliment.

18. When all else fails, show a little crack or cleavage.

19. Don't expect the moon from us, but do expect us to make an effort.

20. Walking around wearing our clothes or nothing at all is always a welcoming sight. Just don't get out the power sander and start with the bad naked (see the Seinfeld episode).

21. Sometimes we just want to know you love us. It would help if you said it or showed it more often and we will try to do the same.

Do we really need more proof of global warming?

2009-08-20T08:00:00.001-07:00

ENVIRONMENT - This a little off topic but I will to relate it how men and women think...

I got this amusing photo in my email today with the caption "Proof of Global Warming" and after laughing I thought to myself do we really need more proof beyond that which we already have?

I mean seriously. 100% of scientists agree that global warming and climate change is real and its happening around us. The only naysayers are people who don't even work as scientists but are "science advisors" for conservative politicians and the oil/coal industries. No REAL scientist has ever come out with proof global warming doesn't exist.

Who are you going to believe? Rush Limbaugh and his cronies? Or the scientific community with degrees and PhDs and the actual data on rising global temperatures?

For fun I did some Google image searches for words like global warming proof and global warming before after to see what came up. There is a lot of images available, some jokes, but most of them serious.

But do we (men and women) need visual proof? Or do we need to wait until global warming effects us personally before we realize its real?

The oil/coal industries know global warming is real, but they're refusing to acknowledge it and they are determined to keep the public ignorant or at least skeptical enough so that politicians won't do anything about it that might hurt their industries.

That much will be pretty obvious to anyone who reads a newspaper and can read between the lines.

But what about the rest of the population? The people who don't read newspapers, who aren't very intellectual or scientific in their reasoning and instead think this is all "natural" or god is doing it to punish the world?

After all god drowned the world once, what is to stop him from burning it the second time around?

But if we ignore god, then its Mother Nature isn't it? The Great Flood, Ice Ages, Global Warming... that sounds like Mother Nature's department doesn't it?

We all know Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and Mother Nature don't exist, but the concept is still the same... nature is doing this, but its not very natural this time around.

And is it really so hard to think humans have the ability to change the temperature of the world around us? We've overrun this planet. There are is 6.7 billion of us and in 2008 we pumped an extra 33,534,965,760 metric tons of carbon dioxide (a greenhouse gas which causes temperatures to go up) into the atmosphere.

And the silly thing about CO2 is that the more there is, the more effective it is at raising temperatures. In the last hundred years CO2 levels have gone up from 290 ppm to 405 ppm. That is a 40% increase and is entirely man made.

The point is that greenhouse gases, global warming and climate change are all scientifically proven. Its the naysayers and skeptics (whom have no scientific background) who have managed to sway the ignorant.

According to a 2005 Gallup poll only 69% of Americans realize that global warming is real. More so there is a gender gap between men and women. 81% of American women know that global warming is real, whereas only 57% of men have clued in on this fact.

So why is it that men are less accepting of scientific evidence? Is it because men are more stubborn? Do they think they know better? Is it because men are less likely to have a college or university education? Maybe.

But an interesting factor is when you compare Republican men/women to Democrat men/women. Republican women are almost twice as likely to realize global warming is real when compared to Republican men, whereas Democratic men and women are on equal ground.

This tells you something very important. The naysayers are almost exclusively all white conservative men. Maybe they've been reading too many pamphlets from the oil industry. These are the kind of men who are still convinced smoking and guns don't kill people and they will argue until they are blue in the face to defend their right to be lazy and pollute as much as they want to.

I've met people like that. The only way they will ever change their minds is if Global Warming effects them personally. Only then will they see the proof in front of them. Until then they will continue to do as they please.

Lets pretend for a moment that we live to see the northern polar ice caps melt and the sea levels rise enough to flood Manhattan island. Would that be proof enough? I'll bet that even then there will be ignorant people who are still naysaying, saying its just a freak of nature rather than humans meddling with nature.

Hopefully by then politicians learn its time to just IGNORE THE SKEPTICS.

Celebrities Sinking to Despicable Lows

2009-08-18T13:52:00.001-07:00

ENTERTAINMENT/SEX - Remember Paris Hilton's sex tape that was accidentally released?

How about the rather disturbing video "2 Girls 1 Cup"?

Well now a group of three celebrities have sunk to a new low... Eric Dane (McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy), his wife Rebecca Gayheart, and Miss Teen USA Kari Ann Peniche have released their own video... a naked threesome with drugs and drunken giggling.

Its not so much a sex video as it is just a naked video with cocaine/etc, so anyone looking for the video will be sorely disappointed.

But what interests me is that this was probably released on purpose... with the idea of taking three relatively small celebrities and trying to turn them into bigger celebrities.

It just proves that celebrities will do anything to get noticed and move up the business ladder when it comes to getting noticed. If there is any JUSTICE these three will see their careers ruined instead.

The Naked Wine Show at Work

2009-07-25T13:51:00.000-07:00

ENTERTAINMENT/SEX - I met today the host of The Naked Wine Show. She does 1 minute reviews of various wine bottles from around the world... in the buff, and is quite eloquent about it.

It reminded me of various other posts in which I've talked about advertising and sexuality (not necessarily on this particular blog).

The idea of doing reviews, news, tech talk or whatever in the nude is nothing new. Naked News has been doing this sort of thing for years now. (I personally prefer the Toronto Star and CBC News for my news, but to each their own.)

I've also noticed that this seems to be a largely Canadian idea. The Naked Wine Show is produced by a Canadian wine company... and so is Naked News, which is produced by 'Egalaxy Multimedia Inc.', which is based in Toronto, Canada.

So does this mean Canadians are more prone to advertising with a dose of sexuality tossed in? Or are we just more liberally minded? Not sure. There are quite a few examples of sex in advertising from all over the world.

Admittedly such a show will cater largely to men, but its also pretty savvy advertising because wine sales amongst men in going up lately so that is a market that can be exploited (or should I say sexploited?) as it continues to grow.

Don't expect to see a lot of nudity on The Naked Wine Show however. All the good bits are tastefully covered. Totally unlike William Adolphe Bouguereau's 1884 painting "Bacchus and the Nymphs". You can see more images of the wine god Bacchus at:

Achilles to Zephyr: An Alphabetical Listing of Greek & Roman Art.

Conclusions? Sexuality and wine have often gone hand in hand, only the media has changed. Take Edouard Manet's "The Bar at the Folies-Bergère" for example. Wine has long been the romantic drink of choice... unlike gin which is known as 'Panty Peeler' according to The Kids in the Hall clip 'The Relationship Lawyers'.

I personally have a particularly good memory of wine and sex... it was in 2005 when I was living in Seoul in South Korea. The company I was working for gave me a gift basket of wine around the time of a holiday. One of the wine bottles was a special gold wine, which had gold flakes in it. It was REALLY good and according to the Koreans drinking flakes of gold is good for your health. (The Koreans aren't the only ones either, there is also an European company, Gold Cuvee, that makes a similar wine with 22 carat flakes.) My girlfriend at the time and myself ended up drinking it in bed together, spilling quite a bit of it on each other on purpose and having fun kissing with wine in our mouths. Such joy!

And many other people probably have similar memories of drinking and sex... so again its really not much of a surprise to see sexuality used to sell wine. Its definitely way better than telemarketing or spam... and way tastier to enjoy wine with someone special!

See Also:
Advertising in America
Advertising Sexploitation
The Ugly Side of Beauty
Canada a Haven for Spam